Inside every narcissist is a green-eyed monster just waiting to rear its ugly head – all you have to do is provoke it.

Narcissism is often accompanied by feelings of jealousy stemming from deep-seated insecurity.

While it can be tempting to provoke jealousy in a narcissist, it’s important to consider the potential consequences and motivations behind such actions.

In this article, we’ll delve into the dynamics of jealousy in narcissistic relationships, explore the tactics that make a narcissist jealous, and discuss the potential risks involved.

What Makes a Narcissist Jealous?

• Drift Your Attention to Someone Else
• Focus on Yourself
• Draw Your Attention
• Be Successful
• Show Off
• Compare Them
• Be Your Best
• Be Happy

8 Ways to Make a Narcissist Jealous

Before exploring strategies to make a narcissist jealous, it’s important to understand your motivations.

Whether you’re seeking revenge, testing attachment, regaining attention, boosting self-esteem, or asserting control after a breakup, it’s important to proceed with caution.

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Narcissists are manipulative and crave attention and control.

Provoking jealousy can escalate unhealthy dynamics and lead to negative consequences.

Keep reading if you still want to understand more about making a narcissist jealous.

1 Give Your Attention to Someone Else

One of the quickest ways to make a narcissist jealous is to take your attention away from them and give it to someone else.

If you have a child with a narcissist, you know how easy this can be. Narcissistic parents become easily jealous when they feel their partner is giving their child the attention and admiration that rightfully belongs to them.

Directing your attention to anyone other than the narcissist can trigger jealousy, especially if that person is also worthy of envy.

If you start hanging out with someone who is more successful or has a higher social status than your narcissistic partner, you will trigger feelings of envy and jealousy, making your efforts twice as effective.

But be careful, a jealous narcissist is likely to seek revenge by bragging about a relationship that made you jealous or projecting their feelings of jealousy onto you.

For example, if you try to make your partner jealous by flirting with their best friend, they may retaliate by posting photos of themselves and an attractive coworker on social media. If you criticize them, they’ll accuse you of jealousy and use the situation to regain control.

2 Focus on yourself

What better way to make your partner jealous than by pampering yourself for a change?

Set aside some time to spend with other friends, or pursue a personal fitness goal or new hobby.

Make it clear that you want this time for yourself, and make sure your partner knows how much you’re enjoying the experience and how much you’re accomplishing, whether it’s strengthening friendships, improving your fitness, or learning a new skill.

Seeing someone else happy and successful will quickly make a narcissist jealous because it suggests that you are better than them—something their inherent lack of self-esteem can’t stand.

The fact that you can find fulfillment outside of the relationship will also trigger jealousy, as the narcissist will fear losing control over you and possibly losing you, which will cut off their narcissistic supply.

3 Withdraw Your Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention and will become jealous if you withdraw it. Before you try this, make sure they are completely addicted. That way, the withdrawal will have a more significant impact.

Give the narcissist in your life excessive attention, showering them with compliments and praise, before withdrawing your attention completely.

Ignore them and focus on someone else, preferably someone the narcissist admires or envies. No need to flirt—just be friendly and let the narcissist’s madness do the rest.

It won’t be long before the narcissist is wondering if you’ve found someone better. As you can see, although the narcissist has an inflated sense of self, underneath all that bragging lies some deep insecurity and a nagging sense of self-doubt.

4 Be Successful

Can you make a narcissist jealous without involving anyone else? Sure! All you need to do is succeed.

A narcissist wants to control you and to do that, they first need to break you down so that you feel helpless and worthless. If you succeed at anything, it disrupts this power dynamic and puts you in a more powerful position.

If they are not in control, they feel rejected and fear losing you altogether, which leads to jealousy.

Everything in the narcissist’s world is about them first and foremost, and someone else’s success reminds them of their own failure.

Unfortunately, a narcissist may respond to this scenario by undermining your achievements or accomplishments to convince themselves that they are better than you.

Don’t let this distract you from your intention, and keep working towards your ultimate fitness goal, a new qualification, or a promotion at work.

Understand that your behavior is simply triggering feelings of jealousy in your partner because they need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves.

5 Show off your accomplishments

Do you earn more than your narcissistic partner or have a larger circle of friends than them? Emphasize anything that gives you the upper hand, and make sure they know it.

Post photos on social media celebrating your successes and those who have helped you along the way while making sure to ignore the narcissist.

Ask your narcissistic partner to go out and celebrate your recent promotion, then ignore them while you enjoy the evening with your coworkers.

This approach undermines the narcissist and can lead to their fear of abandonment when they realize that you are successful in your own right and don’t need them to improve your status.

6 Compare Them to Others

A client once asked me,

“Do narcissists get jealous when you compare them to others?”

I took a moment to think about it before answering,

“Yes.” If you want to make a narcissist jealous, say something like, “My ex-husband was so successful that he was able to pamper me,” or “My father is so respectful, I feel welcome wherever I go just because I’m close to him.”

By emphasizing the qualities that the narcissist lacks, you challenge their inflated sense of self and undermine their perceived superiority. You also highlight their flaws and undermine their inflated self-perception.

Narcissists want to be in control and the center of attention by pointing out the qualities of other successful individuals.

You can trigger their insecurities, which can lead to jealousy when they realize that you may be aiming higher and leaving them for someone else.

7 Be Your Best

Narcissists will see you as belonging to them or as a toy they are using to please them.

Sure, they want you to look good because it reflects well on them, but if you look so good that you get attention from others, it will trigger jealousy as their underlying self-doubt starts to bother them.

Don’t forget that narcissists are also very competitive, so if they suspect you look better than them, they will feel envious and like they’re losing control.

In this scenario, narcissists are jealous because they fear losing their superiority and control over you.

They are also jealous of the attention you attract from others, which should have been focused on them in their minds.

8 Be Happy

Narcissists can’t stand the happiness of others, especially those they date.

They need to be the happiest, most successful, richest, most believable. They also can’t stand the idea that you might be happy without them. After all, your entire world was supposed to revolve around them.

Even feeling happy while you’re still in a relationship with a narcissist can trigger jealousy.

If you enjoy spending time with your family or come home from coffee with a friend feeling happy, the narcissist is likely to feel threatened, which can trigger feelings of jealousy.

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The narcissist’s need for attention and status means they can’t accept that you can find happiness anywhere else. Furthermore, your connections with others threaten their control over you, making them fear losing you.

Narcissists and Jealousy

Why are narcissists so jealous? For narcissists, everything someone else has is something they lack, which triggers almost constant feelings of jealousy and envy.

Scientists who have explored the concept of romantic jealousy have concluded that it is “associated with feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and self-consciousness,” all of which are common in narcissists.

Why are narcissists jealous?

Narcissists feel jealous for the same reasons that anyone else does, and a few more.

They may feel jealous if they think you’re giving your daughter too much attention instead of them or because you’re comparing them unfavorably to other people in your life.

They’ll also feel jealous of any attention you might receive, as they feel superior and therefore deserving of everyone’s attention.

In a romantic relationship, narcissists feel jealous if they think you might reject them or leave them for someone else.

The feelings of jealousy in narcissists are intense and can lead to destructive or even violent behavior.

Do Narcissists Get Jealous When You Move On?

Narcissists don’t want you to move on and forget about them. They still want to control you and your thoughts.

Any sign that you’ve moved on and are no longer thinking about them will cause narcissistic pain and potential injury. It can also trigger jealousy, especially if you seem happier without them.

Why Do Narcissists Get Jealous If You’re Dating Someone Else?

Like most people, narcissists get jealous when an ex moves on and starts a relationship with someone new.

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To a narcissist, this means that they were replaceable and that someone else is now the focus of your attention.

Even if the narcissist ends the relationship, they’re still likely to get jealous if they see you with someone else or that you’re happier in your new life than you were with them.

In their eyes, they’re so perfect and superior that nothing can replace them, but if you can prove them wrong, there’s not much they can do to control that green-eyed monster.

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