Have you ever felt so frustrated in your relationship because your partner refuses to change his bad habits and problematic behavior? Sometimes the only thing you can do when your partner isn’t making positive changes in the relationships is walk away.
When you do everything you can to get your partner to change a behavior that bothers or worries you, and it still doesn’t change, you will eventually reach a crossroads in your relationship. If leaving the relationship is not an option, you must find a way to let go of your attempts to change or control your partner.
If you keep focusing on your soulmate, you will continue to suffer. Letting go and accepting that your partner will not change is a great gift you can and should give yourself.
Here’s how you can let go when your partner refuses to change
- Letting go of control
It is possible that you are not immersed in much of the dynamic between you and others that includes your need to control them. It is essential to recognize and let go of any need, urge, or desire to control or manage others, including your partner. It’s time to admit that you can only control yourself.
In an unsatisfying relationship, you may be tempted to help, repair, protect, or rescue. As normal as it is to do this to someone we care about, and see as stuck or struggling, it only works in Hollywood movies. In real life, it makes it worse because it doesn’t work—period.
Beyond that, one truth you must embrace is that not everyone will want to change, and that’s okay. Just as it is okay to decide what you want to change about yourself; Everyone else has the same powers.
When you stop trying to control another person, you empower yourself in ways you may not have realized. You can transform that energy into something mutable. In some situations, you may begin to identify aspects of yourself that you would like to change instead. It will no longer deviate outward but inward.
When you stop controlling others, likely, you will now focus on what the actual problem is (and it will not be what you thought it was) and find that you can solve it effectively.
- Leverage your strength
Most people have to make an effort to think positively rather than think negatively (called negativity bias). Constant focus on dysfunction, disease, and what is wrong is often seen as undesirable and potentially harmful.
Maintaining a pessimistic view removes our perception that we have choices in how we want to think and act. You can adjust your thinking and focus on strengths that help create a more optimistic outlook. Doing so will assert your mental strength and make you a happier person.
The first step to taking advantage of your strengths is taking inventory of them. Do not underestimate or underestimate any possible power! It’s time to show off a little and bask in the glory of your positive qualities. Think about what comes to mind, comments and compliments others have given you, or direct feedback from school or work via grades or raises.
Read 9 Things You Can Do To Help Someone Heal From Narcissistic Abuse
- Falling in love with yourself
Loving yourself is a great idea! I’m not talking about the narcissistic version of self-love but the version where you have a positive regard for your well-being and happiness. People who drown themselves in troubled relationships find that they have neglected their own needs and satisfaction. They were not loving or kind towards themselves, even if it was unintentional.
Self-love means putting yourself first, forgiving your mistakes, and accepting yourself regardless of perceived flaws. It’s also about embracing joy and realizing your ability to grow and take care of and protect yourself. It can affect your choices in love, work, and friendships. It can affect your ability to cope with distress.
Engaging in loving and kind self-care behaviors is an ongoing practice and will help you live with integrity and intention.
- Find a sense of purpose
Without a sense of purpose, you will continue to struggle mentally. Without a goal, you will meander aimlessly through life without intention. For example, your tendency to constantly try to fix your relationship could be an attempt to alleviate the pain around you. But, it may have unintentionally become your goal, an unhealthy goal that will never leave you in peace.
Instead, having a healthy, active sense of purpose, and engaging in work and activities that bring joy and satisfaction will help you thrive in your life and relationships.
By focusing attention outward, your mental energy is channeled into something useful and meaningful. It does not focus on yourself, your negative mood, obsessive thoughts, etc. It pays to think of being a part of something bigger than yourself, especially when it comes to helping humanity.
Doing so will improve your sense of accomplishment, self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, and well-being.
Read Why It’s Okay To Cut Off Toxic Family Members From Your Life
- Find meaning in your struggles
If your search for a meaningful romantic relationship has been fraught with conflict, you can benefit from finding the meaning and lessons that lie in those struggles. See pain as a hidden invitation to growth. You are stronger than you think you have already come this far.
Now begin to explore the significance of the hurt, the pain, and perhaps even the positives that have resulted from your experiences. You don’t have to be thankful for the experience itself, but you might be grateful for the meaning you found and the lessons learned from it.
