A recently divorced woman will talk about her ex-partner and scathingly describe her as a “sociopath” or “narcissist.” There may be a need to justify naming an ex this way, but what’s the gain?
People who were once in love experience intense emotions when they face divorce. They act in ways that are not consistent with their innate personalities. They act this way out of revenge, anger, and pain. Name calling may be a way to alleviate these feelings.
Is your ex a sociopath, narcissist, or is he just acting out? A person can acquire these personality traits during stressful life changes and then return to normal once the stress has passed.
Here’s how to spot a sociopath or narcissist right away:
- How do you know they are sociopaths?
If they were truly sociopaths, there would have been warning signs early in your relationship.
Sociopaths are masters of deception. For example, they may have lied about their jobs, finances, or family. They probably didn’t have close relationships with many people.
The sociopath does not care about the other person’s feelings, wants, or needs. Their primary goal is to get what they want, no matter how harmful it may be to others. They may be very charming and charismatic, which is how the sociopath will gain the love and affection of his target (you).
They knew how to play the victim so it was never their fault and they had a way of twisting it so you would think it was somehow your fault. The sociopath constantly invents outrageous lies about his past experiences and other people.
If your ex is a sociopath, you’ll see a history of his fabricated stories and wonder how you could have believed some of these ridiculous lies in the first place.
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- How do you know they are narcissists?
If they are narcissists, they will be completely satisfied with their mental traits and physical appearance. Narcissists are very vain and selfish. They need approval and praise from everyone around them, and will be upset by the slightest criticism they receive.
Like a sociopath, he will feel no remorse for hurting people. Because they do not have a conscience, they may succeed in a business where violent behavior is necessary to get ahead.
The narcissist will find ways to punish those he rejects. They always seek validation from others and often belittle others to inflate their own ego. They are addicted to the spotlight and have an insatiable need for recognition for every achievement.
Because narcissists need constant reassurance, they are likely to become desperate during a divorce. They will not respect boundaries – they are willing to break rules and hurt others, regardless of the consequences.
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- What is the difference between a sociopath and a narcissist?
A narcissist needs validation from others, while a sociopath does not. A sociopath will exploit others because they find it amusing, while a narcissist will only exploit those they believe are a threat.
If you are dealing with a sociopath, stop playing their games. They enjoy pressing your buttons just for the pleasure of watching you squirm. If you are dealing with a narcissist, do not feed his ego and avoid falling prey to his traps.
Even if your ex wasn’t a sociopath or narcissist, experiencing divorce wreaks havoc on your emotions. The person who remains calm and collected usually has the upper hand during divorce proceedings (not to mention relationships in general).
During this time of turmoil, you should consider making an appointment with a professional who can help you vent your frustrations and make rational decisions.
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