Narcissism can have long-term effects on children who grow up in that environment. Participating in therapy can help families cope and repair those relationships.

Narcissism involves a personality disorder or traits that can affect a person’s self-image and how they interact with and treat others.

Narcissistic parents are parents whose narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder can affect how they raise their children. Children of narcissistic parents often suffer from mental health effects from this treatment, even into adulthood.

This article delves into some of the common traits of narcissistic parents, the effects that narcissistic parenting can have on children, and some coping skills for recovery.

How to Help Children of Narcissistic Parents

Parenting Narcissism
Effects of Narcissism
Protecting Children
Repairing Relationships
Conclusion

Narcissism can have long-term effects on children who grow up in that environment. Participating in therapy can help families cope and repair those relationships.

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Narcissism involves a personality disorder or traits that can affect a person’s self-image and how they interact with and treat others.

Narcissistic parents are parents whose narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder can affect how they parent their children. Children of narcissistic parents often suffer from mental health effects from this treatment, even into adulthood.

This article explores in more depth some of the common traits of narcissistic parents, the effects that narcissistic parenting can have on children, and some coping skills for recovery.

How do narcissistic parents treat their children?

Narcissism can manifest as an inflated self-image and a tendency to use manipulative tactics for personal gain. People with narcissistic traits may have low empathy and appear selfish but are also overly sensitive and dependent on others.

Narcissism in parents can manifest as personality traits or symptoms of a mental health condition called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). When a parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, their behaviors can have a significant impact on the mental health of their children.

While there is no single example of a narcissistic parent, some potential signs of narcissism in parents include:

Living vicariously through their child and treating them as an extension of themselves

Withholding love, compassion, empathy, or understanding from their children or family members

Feeling extremely jealous and possessive when the child’s attention or interest is elsewhere

Using bullying techniques to maintain control, such as teasing, criticizing, manipulating, and manipulatives

Being emotionally and emotionally inflexible and not allowing their child to express their feelings

Refusing to set boundaries or respect any boundaries their child sets for them

Blaming their child or family members when things go wrong and refusing to take responsibility

Neglecting or abusing their child, either emotionally, verbally, or physically, sometimes intentionally

What are the effects of narcissistic parenting?

Children may have difficulty protecting themselves from parents who engage in narcissistic behaviors, and exposure to narcissistic parenting can often have long-term mental health effects.

While this is not an exhaustive list of the effects of narcissistic parenting, here are some potential signs that you may be being raised by a narcissistic parent.

You have difficulty taking care of your own needs

Narcissistic parents may often put themselves first in their relationships with children and family, which can teach young children that their own needs are not important.

Children of narcissistic parents may experience high levels of guilt, self-doubt, and low self-esteem or have difficulty making decisions in their own lives.

You have difficulty establishing healthy boundaries

Children of narcissistic parents may have difficulty establishing boundaries with others because their parents do not respect the boundaries the children have set.

When people with narcissistic parents set boundaries with others, it can be uncomfortable and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

Constantly trying to please people

Children of narcissistic parents may often grow up learning that the only way to gain love and affection from their parents is to do whatever it takes to please them.

As adults, this can lead to insecure attachment patterns, codependency with partners, and unhealthy or even harmful romantic relationships.

Exhibiting narcissistic traits toward others

Parents may be a child’s first role model, and children raised by narcissistic parents may grow up to believe that the way their parents treat them is the way they should treat others.

Children and adults with narcissistic parents may find themselves displaying similar traits, such as selfishness, hypersensitivity, or extreme competitiveness.

Experience symptoms of mental health conditions

A 2012 study suggested that children of parents with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder may be more likely to develop behavioral or emotional conditions, even early in life.

People with narcissistic parents may develop conditions such as anxiety disorders, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD).

How to Protect a Child from a Narcissistic Parent

It is not uncommon for only one parent in a relationship to exhibit narcissistic traits while the other parent acts as a protector. If you are a parent of a child with another narcissistic parent, you can protect your child in several ways:

Be the safe parent your child can turn to when needed.

Set personal boundaries with the parent that your child can follow.
Identify examples of healthy behaviors that your child can also practice.
Communicate openly and honestly about your child’s feelings and concerns.

Minimize contact with the other parent if you are separated and co-parenting.

Keep documentation and take action if neglect or abuse occurs.

How to Repair a Relationship With a Narcissistic Parent

Healing from narcissistic parenting sometimes — but not always — means repairing your relationship with the parent. While this isn’t always an easy path, here are some steps you can take as you work toward healing:

Acknowledge reality: One of the most important steps in the healing process is understanding that many people with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder may lack the desire to change or face barriers to change. So, repairing your relationship with them may require some radical acceptance on your part.

Set personal boundaries: People with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder may refuse to respect their children’s boundaries, even into adulthood. Allowing a narcissistic parent back into your life means setting and maintaining whatever boundaries you need to stay safe and healthy.

Get professional help: Repairing a relationship with a narcissistic parent isn’t easy, and there’s often a lot of emotional history to work through. Support can come from you, a support system, or a trained mental health professional.

Family therapy can be a great option if the people involved are willing to talk openly and start the path to repairing parent-child relationships. You can use a search tool to find mental health professionals in your area to help with this process.

Takeaway

Narcissistic parents often engage in selfish and self-centered behaviors that can have a significant impact on their children early and later in life. Research suggests that children of narcissistic parents may be more likely to develop emotional and behavioral conditions down the road.

Whether you are a child of a narcissistic parent or a parent of a child with another narcissistic parent, there are resources available that can help you navigate this relationship. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.