How to Get Your Ex Back? I know I never thought I would write about this, but it’s something I’ve struggled with and wanted to do in the past. If you follow my work, you know that I’m not a fan of using your precious brainpower, energy, and time (that you’ll never get back) to try to get someone back into your life who has consistently treated you badly. I’m not a fan of using carrot-based tactics.

But I get it. You miss him and the way he made you feel. You miss the way you felt and the person you were when you were with him and the relationship was good. You’ve made excuses for all the wrong, disrespectful, and hurtful things he’s done because you feel like you’re the one who provoked him and made him feel like a disrespectful lunatic. But you don’t care; you just want him back, no matter what. I get it.

I’m sharing this with you because so many of you have asked me how to get your ex back.

Also – I’m telling you this because it works.

But – I share it with the knowledge (I know because you are all so strong) that by the time he comes along and throws his girl your way again, you will be strong, recovered, confident, and strong enough to know the girl for who she is.

And at that point, you will be okay with it and move on.

So, how do you get your ex back? Let’s start…

Your first problem is that by letting your emotions dictate your actions (in reactionary terms), you are essentially begging him to come back to you. You need to take a step back. Take a deep breath and vow to put an end to the madness; put an end to feeling like a weak victim.

Acting on emotional urges makes you look like you have lost control of yourself. Begging to get anyone back is the worst possible approach. Men, no matter what they claim, are very territorial. It is natural to want what you can’t have.

He may have told you he is done with you. He may genuinely believe this, but I can assure you that if you break up with him, he will start to get curious. He will start to wonder why you went from accepting and desperate to indifferent and moved on.

When thinking about “how to get him to commit,” it is important to realize that a barrage of tears, endless social media monitoring, desperate pleas, overanalyzing, and constant bargaining will not do the trick. Such behavior can be very deterrent to a man, as it portrays an overwhelming lack of self-confidence and an insatiable obsession with his every move. Men want to be loved, not clingy. Constant self-deprecation will not help your cause either.

I share this with sincere concern and candor; there is no room for exaggeration here. If you are keen to know how to get your ex back, heed my advice. It may leave him wondering and questioning.

But what if he never comes back? What is the real loss? A number to be obsessively tracked? At the very least, you will free yourself from the shackles of constant obsession and regain control of your self-worth.

How to Get Your Ex Back…

Don’t call him. Don’t text him, don’t like his photos, don’t watch his stories. Don’t call him from a blocked number and hang up. Don’t drive past his house. Don’t do anything. He doesn’t deserve to know you have a pulse.

I know it’s hard, but don’t act jealous. Non-interaction is a superpower.

Don’t let him or any of his friends see you cry.

Just show him you don’t care.

Get out. I don’t care if it takes all the strength you have to get that sweat off, put your phone down, and take a shower. Get out into the fresh air and breathe.

If he hears from others that you’re out and about, enjoying yourself and not clinging to him and caring about him anymore, he’ll do his best to figure out what you’re doing all of a sudden; what’s distracting you from obsessing over him.

And that’s human nature. It’s exactly how you can get your ex back. Now, he knows he’s in control of your emotions. In his mind, you are too attached to him and too broken by the breakup to have a life of your own. He sees this as hopelessness and weakness.

Stop all the “I need you”, “I will love you until the day I die”, and “We are soulmates. How could you leave me?” To him, this is just unnecessary “drama” and it turns him off because this guy lacks empathy. I say you should make him think that you have completely forgotten about him. No worries, no care.

Pick one friend you trust or better yet, stop gossiping with your friends. Hang in there. You never know which “friend” will tell the wrong one that you are struggling. No long-term dramatic depression and goodbyes. Let him wonder why you are avoiding him.

Either let your feelings turn you into a psychopath who was happy to be away from you, or be the graceful, happy, confident girl you are meant to be.

He can make you feel like a fool or you can have peace of mind.

I don’t care who he starts hanging out with. Don’t come across as jealous, spiteful, or spiteful for any reason. Which girl he approaches doesn’t matter. Don’t intentionally bump into him, but if you do happen to see him, stay calm and end the conversation as soon as possible.

Avoid him and have a life of your own; it will soon affect him.

The reason most girls don’t do this is because they’re afraid of being “bad” or “immature.” But when did having healthy boundaries become synonymous with being bad or immature? What’s so “hard” about saying through generous acts that you don’t have time for anyone who doesn’t appreciate you?

You’re not immature at all. And any ex who calls you that because you broke up with him? It just means you’ve reached out to him.

In the next few weeks, you need a new guy who’s interested in you. Find one or make one, but you have a new flame according to anyone who might know him. You don’t need to announce it with smoke signals, but if you’re asked, smile and quietly say you’re talking to someone. It may sound crazy, but it helps you gain peace of mind. If you’re not ready to date and you still miss him every second of every day, that’s okay. I understand. But he doesn’t have to know that.

Don’t pass by anywhere he goes. Stop making excuses to reach out to him or ask him silly questions that you need to know “now.” Don’t contact him in any way. Avoid it at all costs.

Whatever he can do, you can do better. Remember that.

If he’s trying to meet someone new, let him do what he wants. Ignore him like he’s nothing to you. This won’t translate to you being confident and that you, unlike him, actually have standards; it will just plant the seeds of curiosity in him.

Show him that you’re not that desperate. Show him that you treat yourself well and that there’s no place for anyone who treats you less than you treat yourself. Show him that you no longer take him more seriously than he takes himself.

And remember this…

When it comes to figuring out how to get your ex back…

If your ex is toxic, remember that he doesn’t want you—he’s trying to regain control and control because you’ve taken away his power (his ego). Show him who you are and introduce him to the girl he never had the chance to meet.

If you want to get your ex back, I understand, but he’ll eventually show you (especially if you follow my advice and don’t respond to his comments and withdrawals) that the breakup was a bullet you dodged. And even if he cheated on you and you felt rejected, what happened? You just rejected him.