Have you ever felt distraught or found it difficult to move on after dating someone selfish? If so, your partner is likely a narcissist or someone with narcissistic tendencies.
If you’re not sure whether or not you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, ask yourself these questions:
1. Has your partner isolated you from your friends to maintain control over you?
2. Does he make your partner feel better about himself by putting you down?
3. Has your partner undermined your self-confidence?
4. Did your partner only compliment you when you seemed ready to leave?
Only a psychiatrist can diagnose a narcissistic personality disorder, although the broad definition of a narcissist is someone who expects to be recognized as superior or special, without superior achievements, expects constant attention and admiration from others, is preoccupied with thoughts and delusions of success, and cannot empathize. With the feelings of others.
Related: The Self-Sabotaging Trait Of People Who Were Raised By Narcissists
In short, the narcissist is arrogant and expects special treatment, whether he does things to warrant it or not. If you’re wondering if your partner is a narcissist, it’s helpful to know these basic traits, especially when breaking up with a narcissist and getting your life together.
The only way narcissists can satisfy their inflated ego and create the illusion of superiority is to belittle others. They love to play cat and mouse, routinely putting you at a disadvantage to the point that you begin to believe they are better and more accomplished than you – and accept being the mouse.
We understand narcissism well enough to know that if you are dating a narcissist or someone with narcissistic tendencies, you are very likely to feel unsupported and frustrated. Your partner will not sympathize with you and will not be there for you. Narcissists expect all the attention and will steal your good ideas and make them their own. They will get angry when you disagree with them.
If you experience any of these feelings, it may be time to consider breaking up with a narcissist. Moving forward quickly is your best bet – without a doubt. There is a lot of information available to help you figure out if you are dating a narcissist.
Learn what you need to know and move forward. There is nothing to be gained from spending a lot of time with someone who causes you a lot of sadness.
#How to overcome a narcissist
1. Focus on yourself.
Before you can move forward, the most important thing to understand about narcissists is that their self-confidence underlies their profound lack of self-esteem. Narcissists don’t think well of themselves, and to feel better they choose partners who doubt themselves and their abilities.
Let me put it this way: If you have strong self-esteem and self-confidence, you will not be chosen by a narcissist as a potential partner. This is because narcissists love control and feel superior.
People with healthy self-confidence who make the mistake of entering into a relationship with a narcissist soon realize the emotional abuse and break off the relationship. They realize that something is out of balance and it is easier to move on.
Most importantly, they refuse to take the blame. Instead, knowing they are unhappy, they focus on themselves and confidently and quickly deal with a worthless relationship.
2. Stop judging your every move.
When you doubt yourself and lack confidence, you become the perfect target for the narcissist. Narcissists are initially attractive. They give the impression of strength and confidence. Their goal is to charm you and make you think it’s all about you.
If you are not blinded by this interest and you are not questioning your self-worth, you will soon realize that your companion is only interested in you because you seem weak and less worthy. Of course, if you had known that beforehand, you would not have entered into the relationship.
To avoid entering into another relationship based on your self-doubt, ask yourself: How can I take better care of myself? How can I avoid sending signals that I need help, a rescuer, or too much attention? Kill it in the bud by believing in yourself. Then you will not attract someone who will find a good potential partner because of your low self-esteem.
Some narcissistic traits, when used appropriately with personal boundaries, make exceptional people. Ambition, motivation, even arrogance, and the desire for power are good qualities when balanced with humility and not used to the detriment of others. The desire to feel powerful is positive. The need to feel powerful by belittling others is unhealthy.
3. Revisit any early clues you missed.
Was there a time early in the relationship when you asked yourself, How could someone so great choose me? That was good evidence. Your lack of self-confidence was the reason you attracted the narcissist.
If you’re getting over dating a narcissist, remember this: You are a strong, honest person and probably more successful than you let yourself believe. Narcissists are selective. They’re not dating just anyone; They look for successful, accomplished people who are kind enough to allow their self-created narcissistic superiority to overwhelm them.
If you allow a narcissist to take advantage of your lack of self-confidence, stop! No more belittling your true identity. It’s time to rise to the top. The lesson here is that you are much better than you think. Embrace the truth and move forward!
4. Determine the reasons you are attracted to them.
How do you neglect yourself? How do you position yourself? In your sweet way, do you feel that you are better than others? Do you unconsciously put others down when you feel insecure about yourself?
Not all narcissistic traits may be reflected in you. A good question to ask yourself is: What traits are the biggest problem for me, and how do I do that for myself? Then ask how you did it so unconsciously that you had to attract a narcissist to teach you a lesson.
This idea is a lot to take in. This is what you need to go from being a victim to owning your journey. People who have dated and broken up with a narcissist are emotionally bruised and often collapse into victimhood.
Because they feel hurt, they feel less confident in themselves, and this may lead to them blaming themselves for staying in the relationship for too long. They can become abusive toward themselves and perpetuate narcissistic tendencies that they dare to let go.
5. Identify boundaries that you need to be more aware of to stop allowing yourself to be a victim.
Be a victim no more! The relationship ended. Embrace that truth. You want to move on without further abuse.
Rise to the top—your peak—by consciously shifting from belittling yourself to showing deep compassion for yourself. Then rebuild your self-confidence by taking an objective inventory of your personality. Without cheating! Don’t think yourself short!
Promise yourself that from now on you will be your leader. You will believe in yourself and your achievements and feel compassion. Yes, empathy – the quality completely missing from a narcissist may be the perfect antidote to dating someone.
Related: The Narcissistically Disordered Family
