Convincing a narcissist to leave you alone can be one of the most difficult parts of managing narcissistic abuse.

You may have tried a variety of strategies, but narcissists are relentless and persistent when it comes to control.

Sometimes, instead of dealing with their drama, it seems easier to give them what they want than to stand up for yourself.

Convincing a narcissist to leave you for good actually requires you to be incredibly consistent. You can’t back down from your intentions.

You need to be resolute in your efforts to end the relationship, even if they try to lure you back with false apologies, grandiose promises, or manufactured crises.

Getting support can help, and staying clear with your boundaries is essential.

1 Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries

Convincing a narcissist to leave you requires you to set consistent boundaries. It’s no secret that narcissists hate boundaries—they rarely respect them and often view them as a personal attack.

You should expect the narcissist to challenge your boundaries and become angry, hostile, or outwardly upset.

They may directly ask you why you are being “cruel” or “overly so.” They may also try to make you feel guilty for not caring about them.

If you want the narcissist to leave you, your boundaries should focus on maintaining your emotional safety. These types of boundaries may range from:

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Having minimal communication (this is important if you have children or other commitments together)

Demanding basic respect when you talk

Setting boundaries around finances and money

Redefining emotional boundaries and other relationships

Cutting off all communication

Remember that you are always entitled to set boundaries—this is true in every relationship, and it is a basic human need. You may need to remind yourself of this rule often.

2 Avoiding Communication (If You Need to Stay Connected)

Some relationships with narcissists are inevitable. For example, you may want to divorce, but if you have children with a narcissist, you may need to co-parent the children together.

Or maybe you want to stop spending time alone with your narcissistic mother, but you don’t want to avoid all family interactions that might be involved.

If you work with a narcissistic boss or live near a narcissistic neighbor, you can’t completely eliminate them.

Low contact with a narcissist generally means limiting your communication as much as possible.

When you do talk to each other, keep conversations brief and direct. Avoid emotional topics and engage in controversial content as much as possible. If the narcissist tries to antagonize you, don’t take the bait.

In other words, low contact means adopting a very superficial relationship.

You probably know the narcissist’s emotional triggers by now. While you can’t prevent them from flaring up entirely, you can do your part by remaining calm, neutral, and somewhat disinterested when interacting.

You don’t need to tell the narcissist that you plan to change the way you communicate. Doing so can cause more harm than good (since they’re unlikely to respect these basic boundaries).

3 Block Them From Everything

If you’re ending the relationship for good, you need to end all contact (or even potential contact).

However, don’t give the narcissist any access to your whereabouts or life updates.

This might mean changing your email or number. It also means unfriending/unfollowing you on social media and blocking them from viewing your accounts.

Remember, narcissists will often create additional accounts to stalk people – take some time to review your privacy settings. When in doubt, keep things as private as possible.

If you have a lot of mutual friends, it’s important to be careful about what you post. You never know if the narcissist is relying on someone else to give them relevant updates.

4 Continue to Ignore Them

While this suggestion may seem trite, it’s worth noting. You’ll have to keep reminding yourself that ignoring is the best option.

Once a narcissist suspects that you’re ignoring them, they’ll often double down on their efforts to reach out to you. You can expect them to lure you back in by:

Related : 10 Signs a Narcissist Wants Your Attention After the Breakup

Threatening you: Narcissists aren’t afraid to make bold statements like, “I’m going to get full custody of the kids,” or, “I’m going to destroy your reputation and expose your true colors!”

These threats may seem scary, but they’re meant to lure you back into their lives. The best response is to not respond, even if you feel scared.

“Accidentally” bumping into you: Narcissists don’t like to admit that they miss people, but their actions may speak otherwise.

Now is a good time to consider changing parts of your daily routine. If you don’t, you can expect the narcissist to be at the same coffee shop or cafe that you tend to visit.

Grandiose Promises: If narcissists can get to you, they will often try to promise you everything. “I’m ready to get married!” “You’re right. It’s time to start thinking about having kids.” “I’m sorry for being so difficult. I’m seeing a therapist this week.”

Whatever you suggest, they will likely promise to give you.

Recruiting Flying Monkeys: Flying monkeys refer to mutual friends or loved ones who enable the narcissist.

These “monkeys” often have narcissistic traits, even if those traits go unnoticed.

They are drawn to the narcissist’s attempts to hurt another person and may engage in manipulation tactics, threats, or other forms of guilt-tripping on the narcissist’s behalf.

Demanding Closure: Narcissists like to drag things out, so some may politely “accept” your departure.

But they will also ask if they can talk to you just one more time. Keep in mind that healthy closure with a narcissist is a myth. They will use this time to manipulate you, manipulate you, or guilt you into giving them one last chance.

Smearing Your Reputation: An angry narcissist often turns into a vindictive narcissist. At this point, they may try to destroy your reputation by smearing you. As painful as this can be, resistance often makes things worse. You need to stand your ground, plant your feet in your truth, and avoid resistance.

Getting Rid of You Completely: Some narcissists don’t engage in any tactics to get rid of you.

They move straight to the final disposal stage. When this happens, the relationship ends, and there is no attempt to resolve things. They often quickly move on to someone else, which can be just as painful as any disposal technique.

5 Seek Legal Action

You have the right to seek legal protection against stalking and harassment. If you keep telling someone to leave you alone, and they don’t listen, you may need to escalate the situation.

At this point, consider speaking to your local law enforcement about the situation and filing a restraining order. You can also consult an attorney to obtain a cease and desist letter.

Make sure you document everything that happens. Narcissists are known to be very challenging to deal with in court (and will do anything they can to charm the lawyer and judge). You need to arm yourself with as much data as possible.