In the blink of an eye, your little ones will become young adults. Surprisingly, some of you will suffer from empty nest syndrome.
For some of us, we have built most of our lives around being parents. This applies to both parents. But when our children get ready to leave home, start their own lives, and stop relying on us for everything, it can be traumatic.
It can be very difficult to go through empty nest syndrome, but we can come out the other side as better people.
How to deal with empty nest syndrome?
When our children are young, we don’t think much about their future independence. Don’t get me wrong, we are saving money for their college and other investments, but the reality of this future doesn’t seem to hit home.
It feels like they will stay forever, laughing, arguing and sharing loving moments. But one day, they’ll be adults, and when they leave, it’s good to be prepared. We can do this, here’s what we can do.
- Reconnect with you
Before you became a parent, you had hobbies. Maybe you enjoyed drawing, writing, socializing, or anything like that. But all “baby” activities take first place in your life. Your vital responsibilities to your children were to help them succeed, be present at their games, and enjoy kid-friendly events.
You’ve put your emotions on the back burner. Now that you’re facing the empty nest, you should reconnect with what you enjoyed before you had children. This will help you focus on positive feelings.
- Reconnect with old friends
While it’s good to stay in touch with friends even when you have kids at home, sometimes life’s responsibilities take a toll on this freedom. So, when your kids go to college, move out on their own, or get married, you should definitely call old friends again.
Maybe your friends are facing similar difficulties and you can reach out to them. If not, maybe they can help you learn how to socialize again.
- Stay in touch (but not too much)
Even though your child has moved into his own place, you can stay in touch. Since we have smartphones and social media, it is easier to talk to our children every now and then.
However, do not monitor your child constantly. This is stifling and can cause tension in the relationship. Yes, your child is an adult, and you can’t call him all the time and demand to know what he’s doing.
So, finding balance in your communication is the key to dealing with empty nest syndrome. If you feel the need to call or text all the time, resist.
- Look for challenges
Don’t just reconnect with yourself, find a challenging endeavor. Maybe you are too busy being a mom or dad to engage in any challenging activity. Or you may be afraid of having a harmful influence.
But now, you can start doing anything you want. If it seems a bit difficult, maybe you should give it a try. You know your limits, and if you forget them, your mistakes will remind you.
Challenge yourself and work towards higher goals. And before you know it, the empty nest will be full of possibilities.
- Take on new roles
So you are a father, but what else can you be? After the children go their own way, you can take on new roles in life. You can become a volunteer, a mentor, or even a student. Yes, you can return to school to pursue a whole other role in education.
For example, perhaps you always wanted to earn your degree in the medical field, but for many years, you focused on the needs of your children. Well, when the nest is empty, you can take on roles you couldn’t do before.
- Revive romance
If you are married and intimacy is not your priority, now is the time to rekindle that romance. When your children were young, you often had to put intimacy on the backburner. Now that they’ve grown up and moved away, you have no excuse.
Start going on dates again with your partner or finally be able to sit down and have a nice romantic dinner without interruption. When both of you have your own home, it’s time to strengthen your love.
- Be active
When your first priority was your kids, fitness wasn’t as important. Now that you have enough time to be physically active, you should make fitness a mandatory daily exercise.
You can also focus on improving your nutrition as well. Your health is more important than ever at this time. So, if you focus on your fitness and nutrition regimen, you can learn how to better deal with an empty nest and stay healthy, too.
- Take a vacation
After the children leave home, you may find yourself uncomfortable there without them. Although you can’t stay away from home forever, you can take a vacation.
Going on vacation with your partner or friends can give you a break from intense emotions. So, when you return, maybe you can see your home in a new way.
- Get support if you need it
Sometimes it is almost unbearable when the children leave. This is especially true if you suffer from things like anxiety. If you find that the changes are too much to handle, it’s okay to ask for support. Talk to a trusted counselor, therapist, or friend.
Ask if they can check on you from time to time. This can prevent you from feeling lonely. This is also something that may help single parents, as they do not have a partner to support them.
However, make sure you can trust your support system to provide positive feedback.
- Try to stay positive
Although it may be difficult, keeping a positive mindset can help you look forward instead of to the past. So, instead of mourning the past, you can look forward to your children’s visits.
No, having a positive mindset is not a quick fix, but it works over time. It takes repetition and reassurance to maintain good, healthy thoughts, but you can do it.
It happens to all of us
As I speak, my middle child is cooking his own food. He’s been doing this for about a year, and is preparing to enter college this fall. My oldest son is now in Colorado, has a great job and a bright future. My youngest son is still at home and is playing video games now.
I lived by walking away. I’m getting ready to leave the next student in the fall, and I have one who will graduate next year. I’ve been through it, and I’ll go through it again.
However, I have yet to experience a completely empty nest. So, I’m going to come back here and revisit these tips myself. I think we can get through this together, and if someone has already gone through an empty nest, feel free to give us more advice too!
