“Help, my brother is a narcissist!” Is this the cry of a brother who has to deal with a narcissistic brother? You love him dearly, but you are confused by his ridiculous behavior.
Do these traits sound familiar to you? He believes he is superior to others even though he has not achieved anything in life to justify this status.
Your brother feels entitled and needs constant admiration for every little thing he does.
He lacks empathy and cares about no one but himself. It is difficult to accept that your brother is a narcissist, but it is necessary if you want to move forward.
It is also important to understand that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a condition, your brother did not choose to be this way, so try to be as compassionate as possible in your interactions with him. If you want to know how to deal with a narcissistic brother, keep reading.
Clear Signs of a Narcissistic Brother
Having a narcissistic brother is sad, to say the least. He can’t stand you, and you don’t understand why. Having a conversation with him is like pulling teeth. He’s either playing the blame game or the word game.
The word game combines emotional manipulation with a bit of lies, confusion, and madness! He talks endlessly about nothing and makes ridiculous arguments that don’t make sense.
Your brother can’t keep a secret to save his life; at the dinner table, he’ll say something you’ve told him in confidence to shame you.
If you don’t live together, you dread the holidays because you don’t know what to expect from your narcissistic brother.
You’re really fed up with his behavior and are looking for an exit clause. If you want some deep insights into your brother’s narcissism, you’ll find them in the next few paragraphs.
1 He’s a pathological liar
He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “truth”; your brother lies so much, you’ve lost count.
These lies start out as little white lies and then escalate into huge stories that sound like they came out of a science fiction movie.
Related : THIS is How to Get Child Custody From a Narcissist
For example, one week he’s begging you to lend him money to pay his rent, and the next week he’s bought a mansion in Beverly Hills with cash!
You know he’s lying, so you press him for more information, and because he hasn’t thought through the logistics of his story, he rarely gives you answers.
As you continue to investigate, he gets angry and accuses you of not trusting him.
Or he constantly lies to inflate his talents or accomplishments. If he just graduated from college, he just happened to have the highest grades the school has seen since it opened!
2 He doesn’t recognize your needs or the needs of others
One of the most common symptoms of narcissism is a lack of empathy; they simply can’t experience things from someone else’s perspective.
You might be sick in bed with a terrible flu. Your brother will walk into your room and start talking about how great his day was.
He never stops to ask you how you’re feeling. Then he goes downstairs, makes you a cup of tea, and doesn’t bother to make it for you.
Or, your relationship is going through a rough patch, so you go to your brother for advice, but instead, he hijacks the entire conversation and spends it talking about himself.
When he gets tired of talking, he politely apologizes, and you’re left listening to his advice less!
3 He’s Jealous of You
Narcissists are extremely attention-seeking; if all eyes aren’t on them, that’s a problem. If you notice that your narcissistic sibling is doing everything he can to outdo you, this is why.
Your sibling may be an exceptional artist, have had several solo exhibitions and are well-established in the art community. You’re a writer by profession and are about to publish your first book.
Out of nowhere, your narcissistic sibling feels the need to come and tell you that someone is writing a book about him. His first point of attack is to tell you that he can do everything you can.
Secondly, he’ll wait until your book is out, then make sure that it’s released bigger and better.
A narcissist must be first at all costs, and he’ll do everything he can to ensure that he maintains that position.
To me, jealousy is the root of all evil, and your sibling will do anything to stay on top.
Additionally, you may have noticed that during conversations, let’s say your father says something like,
Your brother will feel the need to interfere with his academic achievements. When you have a narcissistic sibling, it’s a never-ending competition.
Typical Behavior of a Narcissistic Sibling
Narcissism is a mental illness; they are unaware of their behavior and cannot hide it.
When you are aware of the personality traits of a narcissist, no matter how smart they are, no matter how much they think they have fooled everyone, you will know that you are dealing with a narcissist.
Your brother is no different; in case you are wondering how narcissists treat their siblings, here are some typical behaviors of a narcissistic sibling:
He has an arrogant attitude: Your narcissistic sibling sincerely believes that you owe him something in life. The worst thing you can ask of a narcissist is a favor. He will hold it against you for the rest of your life. Every time they need something from you, they remind you of the time they brought you a glass of water when you were choking!
He always talks about himself: There is no “we,” “us,” or “them” in the narcissist’s world. All your sibling knows is “me.” Conversations with a narcissist revolve around nothing but the self.
He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions: Even if your sibling is caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and you pull out your phone and record him eating cookies and then play it back, your narcissistic sibling will find a way to deny it. He will be able to convince you that what you see on the recording is probably some kind of mistake! Narcissists don’t know the meaning of personal accountability, so personal growth is not a consideration for them.
He looks down on people: Narcissists suffer from delusions of grandeur; They live in their heads and have an inflated view of themselves. As for your brother, he is better than everyone else, he thinks he is royalty and everyone else is a peasant.
1 Don’t Argue
One of the most annoying things about a narcissistic sibling is that they play the role of the perfect son so well.
Your parents often have no idea who they really are because they make sure that the people who matter never see that side of them.
Related : List of Famous People with Narcissism
They will play the blame game, tell you lies, and all sorts of evil to maintain their good name. You should never argue with your narcissistic sibling, although it can be frustrating.
First, you will never win. This argument will last a lifetime until you back down.
Second, they will use it as ammunition against you and rush to your parents and insist that you are bullying them. In other words, arguing with your narcissistic sibling will do you no good.
2 Set Boundaries:
Stay away from them; if you live in the same house, keep a lock on your door so that they cannot barge into your room when they feel like it.
Refrain from talking to them too much, and give them very limited information about what you’re doing with your life or anything else for that matter.
As mentioned, narcissists love to use what you say against you; so the less information they have about you, the better.
3 Don’t Expose Their Narcissism
This is another waste of time; exposure is one of the narcissists’ worst fears. They will do everything in their power to ensure that their well-crafted reputation remains intact.
By exposing a narcissist, you mean that their cover has been blown and they won’t tolerate it.
At this point, the narcissistic rage will set in. Your brother will be so angry that you dared to confront him, he will stop at nothing to destroy you.
When it comes to narcissistic rage, you can expect your brother to start spreading rumors about you, trying to ruin your relationship, trashing your gear, trying to get your name removed from a will, and anything else he feels is necessary to stop you in your tracks.
4 Get support, and seek help!
In some cases, your brother may have successfully misled your entire family into believing that he is the kindest, most caring, and most gentle person in the house.
If this is the case, you have no chance of getting support from them, and holding a family meeting about your narcissistic sibling’s behavior will backfire.
Instead, get out of the house, talk to a trusted friend, or get professional help.
Either way, you will need it. Whatever way you choose to get support, make sure you get it, because this narcissistic sibling life is no fun!
5 Don’t Reach Out
If you’ve exhausted all other options and find it simply impossible to maintain a relationship with your sibling without your mental health being affected, don’t reach out.
Unfortunately, family members are often the ones who cause the most psychological damage to us.
I’m all for family, and I think it’s important to have a close relationship with your loved ones.
However, sometimes that’s not possible; society has conditioned us to believe that family is for life, and that we should do everything we can to keep our families together.
But when there are people who want nothing more than to cause disruption, you need to separate yourself from them.
Some people come from a narcissistic family; their entire family is narcissistic, and they’ve barely managed to dodge the narcissistic bullet.
A toxic family member is no different than a toxic friendship or a toxic romantic relationship; it’s only a matter of time before you get fed up and leave.
Take the same approach with your narcissistic sibling, or they’ll destroy your self-esteem and suck the life out of you.
No contact means you have no contact with them. Block them on your phone and social media.
Don’t go when you have family gatherings, don’t go; you can schedule your own family time without them being there.
FinalThoughts
A lot of empowerment will come from understanding your narcissistic sibling if you choose to view them this way. It’s important to understand that you’re now armed with this information, and it’s not your responsibility to try to fix them.
It’s rare for a narcissist to change; if they do, they need to make that decision on their own.
If you end up not contacting them, it may be a wake-up call for them, but don’t try to force it.
For now, the best advice I can give you is to protect yourself, narcissists have terrible energy and will completely drain you if you give them the chance.
Set boundaries and do your best to keep them away from you, and you will thank yourself when you realize how much more peaceful you feel when they are not around.
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