When you are lucky to have a narcissist in your life, learning how to deal with them is one of the hardest ordeals in life. It takes a certain skill gained from life experiences.

Well folks, it’s time, once again, to tackle the daunting topic of the toxic individual. Yes, I know you are not fond of these personalities, but in order to protect yourself, you must learn how to deal with that narcissist in your life.

It’s not easy. In fact, it can be as easy as eating soup with a fork. But despite what you don’t understand, there is a little bit of information you can pick up from time to time.

The true nature of a narcissist

Now, before we continue, I want to break down the definition of a narcissist for those who may not understand what it is. Believe it or not, some people don’t realize they’re dealing with this personality type until a significant amount of the damage has already been done. Victims can be naive. I know I was.

Here’s my rough idea: A narcissist is a hollow person, robbed of their true personality long ago. Sometimes this happens in childhood and sometimes it happens a little at a time as the individual grows into adulthood. Regardless, the narcissist is devoid of personality and has to steal characteristics from others.

During this process, they resort to manipulation and control, drawing energy and purpose from those who harm them, or rather destroy them. They feel that nothing is their fault and nothing is more important than having the spotlight shine on them…which, I repeat, shines on something empty.

Now, with that being said, let’s learn how to deal with a narcissist.

We must learn to take advantage of healthy boundaries with narcissists. In some cases, we have to stay away from it completely. Let’s look at some points.

consciousness

The first point you need to remember is awareness. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist or that person is a family member, you should always pay attention to the things they say or do. In other words, don’t let your guard down. The narcissist wants you to be unaware because this is one of their ways of retaining control. If you have no idea what’s going on, they can turn on the show and do whatever they want.

During this time of ignorance, a narcissist can wreak all kinds of havoc on your life. You need to be very careful to stop the negative actions and words of this toxic person. Stay informed, stay strong, and stay in control. This will stop many planned acts of narcissism.

Emotions

Control those feelings! You should not let your feelings get out of control under any circumstances. A narcissist feeds on your lost nerve, your sadness, or your elevated happiness for a variety of reasons.

One of the reasons narcissists want you to become emotional is so they can call you crazy or blame you for acting irrationally. They will say things and do things intended to elicit a dramatic response. You must not give up.

Also, the narcissist will try to make you emotional so that he can get attention. Any form of attention is okay, even if it is only capable of pissing you off. So, when you engage in a conversation with this kind of person, be automatic. Know your facts and understand the decisions you will make.

Don’t pay attention to insults or random comments meant to upset your feelings. If you stick to the topic and put up your walls, you will be fine and the narcissist will see that they are not in control of the situation.

self-worth

Always be strong in your self-esteem. One of the narcissist’s goals is to lower your self-esteem. This is because their self-esteem is almost non-existent, contrary to what they try to portray in lofty words.

Destroying your self-esteem will help them feel better about themselves. If they failed to do so, it could be disastrous in their minds. Imagine being filled with nothing but panic – no substance, no flavour.

But that’s just the thing… Destroying the narcissist’s spotlight is just what needs to happen. It is the narcissist’s only hope of finding themselves and healing, if that is even possible. You must maintain your self-worth and force the narcissist to escape or take an honest look at themselves. This puts an immediate end to the manipulation.

Egostroking

Well, this isn’t the best idea on earth, but it helps temporarily. If you have no choice but to be with a narcissist, reframe your conversation. Instead of demanding things for yourself, like, God forbid, respect, tell the narcissist all the benefits he will reap from what you want. This is a unique way of dealing with a narcissist.

For example, if you want to go to a friend’s party and the narcissist is difficult and insensitive, ask in a different way than usual. Say this: “Everyone likes you and would love to have you at the party.” This development will please you and the narcissist.

But beware, this trick is temporary and not the healthiest solution in the long run.

Removal

If all else fails, you must remove the narcissist from your life. If they are a family member, you may not be able to do just that. If you share children with the narcissist, you may also find this impossible. However, you can set strict boundaries between yourself and this toxic person, which will lead to a healthier life.

If the narcissist is only your friend or if you don’t have children together, it may be time to give it up completely. Remember that your mental and physical health is more important than maintaining a bad relationship. Choose wisely in this area.

I’ve been there and done that! I also wrote a book about it
I’ve lived with a narcissist for over two decades, and guess what? I was deceived, manipulated, and controlled for most of those years, but I eventually learned how to deal with that narcissist. And I am ashamed, as I have said many times before, of my lack of knowledge in this field. I thought I was the problem and I think if I keep doing my best to be a good person, I will somehow please him. I was wrong.

You can never truly satisfy a narcissist because the problem isn’t you. It’s time to wake up. You can’t spend your whole life trying to fix someone who doesn’t see a problem with their actions.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Because, as I always softly whispered in motivation, “If I can’t be happy with myself, I’m useless to others who need me.” think about it.