How To Attract Men: The Only Thing You Need To Know

The number one question I get asked by readers who are straight women is how to attract men. Although this publication addresses this question, the contents can be applied to any orientation or gender.
If you do a simple Google search on “how to attract men,” here are some things that come up:

Be mysterious.
Play hard to get it.
Display intelligence and depth.
Dress for him, not other women.
Flirt with body movements and body language.
Wear perfume.
Don't act desperate or easy. Give him a challenge!
Put your best assets on display.
"Tilt your head forward and look him in the eye as you engage your core muscles.” (?!)
Open your arms when talking to him.
Pretend to drop something and pick it up slowly.

And the list goes on.
When it comes to figuring out how to attract men, this is the thing…

Yes, it’s important to make sure you look and feel good, but apart from being insulting to your intelligence (and setting you up for embarrassment at best and toxic treatment at worst), all of the above points teach you how to get tested.

Think about it. All these “tips” are no different from what an actor auditioning for a role will do.

Are relational tests effective? If you do not mind the crumbs, then for sure it can be so.

Some tests turn into one-night stands, some turn into toxic relationships and fake friendships, and some turn into separate marriages. Testing is also the basis of relationships with toxic family members.
I have experienced my whole life. I audition for my parents, friends, family, teachers, bosses, co-workers, and guys.

Looking back, whenever I felt like I “got the part,” it was just that – a role; a part to play.

And as much as I had hoped and dreamed about this once-in-a-lifetime connection, what I didn’t realize was that I was robbing myself of the ability to attract her. The lack of connection in my life was the only source of my unhappiness.
I thought that if I could” be good enough ” and give the perfect test, a real connection between me and the other person would naturally follow.

Engaging in this pattern preoccupied me to such an extent, that I became obsessed with mastering my quiz. This gave me a license to avoid communicating with myself (so as not to have to honestly communicate with others), continuing to overestimate superficiality.
Why are we the test in our relationships?

The test occurs because it is the cheapest shield accessible to those who lack self-esteem. As long as we focus and obsess over how we perceive, it prevents us from having to be vulnerable. It also prevents us from being rejected because of the one thing we are most afraid of ourselves.

We know that when we audition, there is a higher probability of rejection; only one “lucky” person is chosen. Also, we need validation like we need oxygen, testing is all about validation. If we are rejected, we take it personally and then fill in the self-realization prophecy ” I’m not good/beautiful/sexy/perfect enough. “This makes us more laser-focused on” getting it right ” next time.

Related : Feeling Insecure In A Relationship? Here’s How To Reclaim Your Power

Since we are obsessed with superficiality, we only attract others who are superficially dependent (and then, wonder why we don’t feel attached to our partner).
How to attract men (and good people in general)

Whether you’re talking to a guy, a friend, a coworker, or even the person who delivers your morning coffee or packs groceries, make an effort to communicate before the need for testing begins.

Look at the person in the eye. Smile. Ask them how they are doing.

When you stop obsessing about how you look, you will be better able to focus on what matters: see if there is a connection there (and, at least, brighten up someone’s day).

No matter who you are talking to (unless, of course, you know that the person is toxic), ask yourself: “How can I call here?”How can I make this person feel as I have seen and heard as I wish I was?”

This puts an end to social anxiety. You no longer worry if you have misplaced hair, look stupid, or have something in your teeth. And if after talking with them you realize that there is no contact, then this is no longer personal. Other people’s decisions, words, and behavior are no longer assimilated.

It’s like I went somewhere far away and started crying because I didn’t have any service on my cell phone. “But I’m a great client! I pay my bill on time every month! I should be able to get in touch anywhere, shouldn’t I?”The absence of telephone service does not mean that I am not a good customer. It’s just a bad area with no connection.

When it comes to figuring out how to attract men, remember this: what interests men the most is a woman who puts her desire for contact at the forefront – not validation. The ability to connect with the right men comes across as confident, independent, and attractive. It separates you from the package. The feeling of thirst for validation reduces your value – both in his eyes and in yours.
The good guys (yes, they are there), do not continue to take advantage of women who test. They’re just turned on by it.

The traditional beauty will fade away after a few minutes if you are an uninterested person and obsessed with being “perfect.”

Here in Los Angeles, thousands of actors audition every day. The audition is nerve-wracking because you can’t communicate with one person who will hopefully hire you and get to know your talent (casting director). The only thing you can communicate with is the character you are trying to play.

The key to getting out of bad luck with men, getting out of pain, and getting out of self-doubt is to get out of your “must be perfect” head. It’s great to have high standards but perfection is the most destructive of all.

Related : Know When To Walk Away: 15 Non-Negotiable Red Flags To Look Out For

Looking back, most of the time I’ve been wasted obsessing about an average date, a fleeting conversation, a job interview, etc., I failed to admit that I didn’t even feel a connection with the guy, conversation, career, etc. I was so obsessed with” getting the part, ” and coming up with a certain way, it sent a signal to my ego that if I screwed up, I would lose a part once in a lifetime. To play.

That is why most couples are in Bachelor conflict. The contestants have little time with The Bachelor, and they have no choice but to be more aware of the image at the very beginning (and test as a result because they want to win). This deprives both people of the opportunity to find out if there is a real connection until much later when the drama (and pressure) is at an all-time high.

Guess what?

You are already living this dream role. You are the only main character in your life story. And you can choose to restore the pen and rewrite it anytime you want.