The law of reciprocity is about rewarding an action with another action in return. But how exactly does all this work, and how can you best use it to benefit your life and the lives of others?
This law is about spreading goodness among all of us, and it’s something more people need to practice. This article will look at how the law of reciprocity works, and some practical ways you can use it.
What is the law of reciprocity?
The simplest way to look at the law of reciprocity is that you should do to others what you would have them do to you. The problem is that this can sometimes take an ugly form where people are just making gestures to get something in return.
This is often used by salespeople who have no interest in improving your overall well-being and only care about themselves. They often give something away for free so that the other person feels obligated to return the favor, which is based on purchasing a particular product.
We want to ignore this particular aspect that is more about persuasion than reciprocity. Instead, we want to focus on reciprocity to spread more joy, support and care among each other. This is the law that usually results in a positive reaction in another person. When you make the simplest, kindest gesture, it generally triggers a desire in the person to behave similarly.
Reciprocity is about feeling obligated to return the favor. This may seem like a burden, but we’re talking about small, intimate gestures that go a long way in helping us all feel better about ourselves. The act of giving goes a long way in instilling a positive impression in the mind of the other person. And that’s what this is all about; Create as many positive experiences as possible.
What are some ways we use the law of reciprocity every day?
You probably use this law every day, and don’t even realize it. A basic example is the idea of a simple smile. When we smile at someone, the other person usually smiles back at us. Your job is that you give the smile, and the reaction is that they return the smile to you. This is one of the most practical, simple and effective ways to practice the law of reciprocity.
We don’t understand what others are going through, and even though they walk around with a brave face, they may be suffering inside. It’s incredibly powerful what the simple act of smiling can do for another human being, and even for just a moment, it will lift their spirits. This action comes back to you, which also causes a surge of endorphins and a feeling of happiness.
This is of course the most basic example of this law, but you can see how powerful it really is. Now, you want to continue putting this law into practice as much as possible. What are some other practical ways to use the law of reciprocity?
- Create a more harmonious home environment
If things are a bit chaotic in your home, blowing off the top of your house may seem easier than dealing with disastrous situations. Let’s say you come home from work to discover a mess all over the house. You’re trying to stay calm, but one of your kids comes running over and knocks a plate off the table, breaking it. Your child is almost hysterical, and this may end in a complete meltdown for everyone, or you can use the law of reciprocity.
It’s not always easy, but in this case, it may require not losing your temper and instead, reassuring and cuddling your child. This wouldn’t be the reaction they were expecting while they were also expecting to have to clean it up. Ask your child to go and do something else while you clean up. It is not uncommon to find a child resorting to a more peaceful and apologetic stance because he saw your kind approach and responds in kind.
By yelling and punishing, you will likely get a similar reaction. By taking a gentler approach, you allow inner peace to be created instead of a harsh situation. This is not easy, but if we do it on a daily level, you will get more positive feedback instead of conflict, fear and pain.
- Pay things off as quickly as possible
This isn’t specifically about money, but it still applies. One of the most practical ways you can use reciprocity is to return the favor and gesture as quickly as possible – even if it’s something small. When you don’t, people may often think you are taking advantage, and that is the opposite intentions we should strive for.
With close friends and family, you may have a little more leeway in the length of time it takes to pay someone back because there is a closer intimacy. With people like coworkers or colleagues, you’ll want to return the favor as soon as possible so that reciprocity works best.
- Help a stranger
We’ve discussed reciprocity with people we connect closely with, but what does this look like in the outside world with people you don’t know? It’s all about creating the best possible environment in whatever situation you find yourself in. This can be as simple as opening the door for a stranger. If the hallway has more than one door, you can be pretty sure that they will make sure to keep the next door open for you.
