A new study suggests that those who frequently cancel their plans at the last minute are more likely to be narcissists.
Look we’ve all been there. You get busy at work and end up ditching your friends at the bar, you have a bad day and don’t want to go out with your partner, you get invited to a party but have to cancel dinner with your parents.
We all cancel plans from time to time, but if you or someone you know cancels plans all the time, there may be something darker going on.
Researchers note that those who intentionally and regularly cancel their plans usually do so because something better is coming along. These individuals also display traits associated with two dimensions of the “Dark Triad” – narcissism and Machiavellianism.
These behaviors may be on the rise, so researchers have given them their own name: social launching.
What is social launch?
The social kick-off is like the usual kick-offs with a special twist. Instead of canceling plans because they can’t make them happen, social media hackers cancel plans for their own personal gain. It is characterized by the constant pursuit of better social opportunities.
Social network makers will choose plans that they believe will provide them with better social outcomes without caring about the long-term consequences or effects on those who abandon them.
To examine this phenomenon, the researchers asked 190 participants between the ages of 17 and 30 to complete a questionnaire including the Social Trigger Scale — a measure that assesses the tendency to cancel appointments on short notice.
The results revealed some interesting facts about those who frequently cancel their plans at the last minute.
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Canceling plans at the last minute can be a narcissistic trait
Deliberate impulsivity, narcissism, and procrastination were all positive indicators of social release.
Narcissism is strongly associated with a lack of empathy for others and an inflated sense of one’s own importance. Thus, it stands to reason that those who abandon loved ones for better opportunities could have narcissistic tendencies.
However, the biggest indicator of social disengagement was Machiavellianism – another dark triad personality trait usually exhibited by someone who is so focused on his own interests that he manipulates, deceives, and exploits others to achieve his goals.
Narcissism and Machiavellianism often coexist and are also highly associated with psychopathy, although these mental illnesses can also exist independently.
Author Donna Andersen, an expert on narcissism and sociopathy, tells us that canceling plans is one of the many ways narcissists prioritize their own needs over everyone else’s.
“People with narcissistic, antisocial, or psychopathic personality disorders feel entitled to do whatever they want, including canceling plans. “Sometimes, they don’t even tell you they’re canceling — they just don’t show up,” she says.
Andersen also tells us that it’s not uncommon for narcissists to deny agreeing to the plans in the first place.
Related:
Social launching is on the rise, thanks to social media
Other research from the same source reveals that social media use can lead to increased social release.
Social media encourages us to constantly search for new contacts and experiences. It also leaves us with increased access to social comparison and feelings of “missing out” that are difficult to ignore.
Excessive and problematic use of social media exacerbates this phenomenon, and can put pressure on people to always look for opportunities they consider “better.”
