Many of us misinterpret the Bible. It takes the guidance of the Holy Spirit and diligent study to know what the Bible tells us and avoid misinterpretation. We all have filters that obscure the truth, and translations are sometimes spotty at best. But the difference between a sincere Christian trying to understand the Bible and a narcissist using it to his advantage becomes clear with a little research.
Any interpretation of the Bible that does not include the Holy Spirit is bound to be inaccurate. But as unfortunate as that may be, the real danger lies in those who use it for their selfish purposes. Pastors, Bible study teachers, and even just you or me, sitting alone with the Word, are all in danger of trying to get around what the Bible says. If the word is a double-edged sword that separates soul from spirit, some of us prefer the butter knife that spreads what we want to hear. I include myself in that. The Bible is an uncomfortable book.
But deliberately misinterpreting the Bible to manipulate others is heresy. If one is a liar at heart, like all narcissists, the truth is not even part of the plan. So, here are some of my observations regarding those who regularly misinterpret the Bible:
1: Narcissists misinterpret the Bible so dramatically that the meaning is almost the opposite of the original intent:
I understood this in a larger context the other day. I was reading Mark and came to the passage in Mark 3, where the Pharisees claim that Jesus is working with Satan. The absurdity of their claim comes from the fact that Jesus had just saved a man from demons. Christ said:
So he called them and said to them in parables: How can a demon cast out a demon? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. If Satan rises against himself and is divided, he will not be able to stand, but the interpretation has an end. No one can enter the house of a strong man and plunder his possessions unless he first binds the strong man. And then he will ruin his house. Mark 3:23-27
For many years, I have found this passage puzzling, so when I read it the other day, I did some research. All comments agree that Satan is the strong man. Jesus made a point about how Satan does not work against himself. Matthew Henry, the famous Bible commentator, puts it this way:
It is evident that Christ plans to enter the house of the strong man, take possession of the interest of the world which is his, plunder his money, and turn it to his service; It is natural, therefore, to suppose that he would thus restrain the strong man, prevent him from speaking when he pleased, and remaining where he pleased, and thus show that he had conquered him.
My previous confusion lay with my ex. In one of my attempts to escape abuse, kind Christian neighbors drove me and my daughters from Kentucky to the bus station in Atlanta. I took the train with my four daughters, the youngest of whom was three months old, to Los Angeles, where my parents live. My ex-boyfriend started engaging my father in long phone calls because he couldn’t reach me. His biblical defense was that he was the strong man and that Satan had bound him and taken his wife and children. He made a mistake in interpreting this verse to the point that it said the opposite.
I had a hard time trying to understand this verse because of his complete certainty in the way he saw that verse. My Bible study did not focus on this verse, so it took me many years to go back and look at it. I soon realized that when he misinterprets the Bible, he always turns the verse into the opposite of what it means. Ironically, he put himself in the place of the strong man. If all interpreters are correct, then he has taken the place of Satan in his interpretation. Maybe he wasn’t so far away after all.
2: Narcissists misinterpret the Bible to benefit themselves.
Narcissists use Bible verses to boost their ambitions. Every woman I’ve talked to who’s married to a narc and reads the Bible will tell you the same thing. The verse that is most often misinterpreted is the verse in which wives are required to obey their husbands. The next verse where husbands are to lay down their lives for their wives is not found in the narcissist’s Bible. But that one verse, taken out of context, is still used as justification for abuse.
The way the narcissist misinterprets this particular verse is to create the absolute. In essence, he puts himself in God’s place. Men and women alike owe obedience to God above any other authority, whether marital, governmental or in the areas of work. By misusing this verse, narcissists turn women who have a genuine desire to be good wives into slaves who exist solely for their master’s pleasure. God may hate divorce, but He hates any kind of abuse much more.
Number 3: The narcissist’s misinterpretation turns the Bible into a book of hate.
The narc will misinterpret the Bible to justify his desires and beliefs. This is not just an individual issue. Entire churches can be tricked into turning the Bible’s message of love into a condemnation of any group of people they fear or hate. Slave owners used the Bible to justify their ownership of other human beings. Some churches, mostly fringe groups, will protest with signs saying God hates… Fill in the blank as you please.
On a personal level, we all tend to take verses from the Bible and twist them to justify sin in our lives. Cheap grace, or the idea that we can sin all we want because God will forgive us, is one such misinterpretation that narcissists are not limited to. The desire to change the Bible into something more attractive or indulgent is a narcissistic tendency that all humans share. We want what we want.
The difference is that if the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, then we learn to question our motives. We know that consequences are real and that God disciplines those He loves. The further down the narcissistic spectrum we go, the less likely we are to question our hearts. Truly self-absorbed people don’t wonder at all. But misinterpreting the Bible is a dangerous game, and its result is eternal damnation.
