Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions. It helps us live in harmony with others because it enables us to see our mistakes and make the necessary adjustments to improve them.

However, narcissists don’t want accountability. They want the freedom to do as they please because they feel superior and entitled. They also don’t care about the impact of their actions on others as long as they get what they want.

To avoid accountability, narcissists use a variety of tactics and create an aura of impossibility to challenge them. Here are some ways they avoid accountability…

Deliberate Ambiguity

Narcissists are evasive agents. Many are adept at being vague, not offering direct answers.

Ambiguity prevents them from being held accountable. Even if they are deceptive or hostile, it’s easy to backtrack and say you misinterpreted them.

This shifts the blame away from themselves and places it on you. Because you are the one who allegedly misunderstood them.

Power

Narcissists may avoid accountability by seeking positions of power. They know that if they have power, most people are afraid to confront them.

Related : What Narcissists Say To Win You Back

A narcissist may become a CEO, join the police, become a prominent member of a religion, or even work in politics.

When in power, narcissists use it to their advantage. They know that most people will back down rather than fight them. This allows them to avoid accountability and get away with almost anything.

Flying Monkeys

More covert narcissists may summon their flying monkeys to do their bidding. They may smear someone’s reputation with false or exaggerated claims and encourage their flying monkeys to attack them.

This allows narcissists to harm people from a distance, while giving them the ability to deny responsibility because they were never actually involved.

Denial

Most narcissists deny things until the end of time, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Narcissists know that when they vehemently deny things, it leaves a shred of doubt in your mind. Because you’re a fair-minded person, you’re more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt, even if you’re 95% certain they’re lying.

It’s often difficult to prove someone is 100% wrong. So, if a narcissist vehemently denies it, there’s a good chance they’ll get away with it.

illness

Narcissists use illness more covertly to avoid accountability. It’s an easy way to look good while secretly exploiting others.

The narcissist may exaggerate or fabricate illnesses. These “illnesses” can be physical or psychological.

Narcissistic illnesses are usually invisible, such as back pain, fibromyalgia, depression, etc., and flare up at appropriate times.

Related : What Is A Narcissistic Collapse?

If someone criticizes the narcissist for a mistake they’ve made, they may blame their illness. People then feel sorry for them and give them a chance to survive.

Exploit Your Protection

If a narcissist has a protected status, they will use it to evade accountability. For example, if they are disabled, female, or of a racial background.

Some narcissists attack people with discrimination when they try to hold them accountable, even if it has nothing to do with the issue they are facing. So, for example, they might accuse you of sexism when you confront them about defaming you behind your back, even if the issue is completely unrelated.

Some narcissists go even further. If they don’t have social protection, they may pretend to have it just to gain benefits. They may claim to belong to a racial minority when they are not, to have a hidden disability, or even to be of a different gender, if it gives them greater protection.

Virtue Shaming

Some narcissists avoid accountability by virtue shaming, to the point where they are almost ostracized.

They may become famous, gaining public trust. They may hold high religious or judicial positions, or even work for charities.

Some narcissists create an aura that makes it impossible for people to believe they are capable of causing harm. When they do, people question their own perceptions and make excuses for them.

smear_campaign

To avoid accountability, narcissists may smear those who challenge them. They will tarnish their own reputations. Then, people won’t believe them.

The narcissist may lie or exaggerate their mistakes, trying to convey them as dramatically as possible for maximum effect. Once their reputation is smeared, the narcissist denies their stories, citing their “instability” as evidence of their lies.

Narcissists also use smear campaigns to warn others, letting them know that the same thing will happen to them if they dare to hold them accountable.

The Silent Treatment

If a narcissist can’t evade a situation by talking, they may resort to the silent treatment. This is a useful tactic because it requires no explanation, just silence.

Instead of defending themselves, the narcissist remains silent and creates an atmosphere that suggests the other party is at fault.

Related : Why Narcissists Stare At You

This throws people off balance. Even though the narcissist made a mistake, they reverse the victim and abuser, acting as the victim while remaining silent.

This means their irrational words or actions are never discussed or exposed. This leaves the other party wondering what went wrong, absolving the narcissist of responsibility.

Obviously, silence is uncomfortable for the recipient. So when the narcissist finally speaks, most people feel relieved. They either forget or don’t bother to hold the narcissist accountable.

Attack

Some narcissists avoid accountability by viciously attacking anyone who disagrees with them. Instead of defending their position, or raising their hands and admitting a mistake, they know they can’t defend what they’ve done. So they attack with something the other person did, even if it was unrelated and happened a long time ago.

So, if you blame them for arriving two hours late, they might lash out at you because you spilled their drink three years ago. It’s insane, but it often escalates the situation enough that they can get away with it and avoid accountability.

Circular Arguments

Many narcissists avoid accountability by using circular arguments. They may deliberately misinterpret what you say, change the subject, and complain about things unrelated to what you said and did. All to avoid the problem you’re addressing.

After a while, most people get tired and frustrated and give up. Because they’re not making any progress. And the narcissist walks away unscathed.

Blame Shifting

Most narcissists are adept at making their actions seem like your fault. Not only do they get away with it, but they also implicate you.

Narcissists often blame their partners for “pushing” them into doing bad things. They may blame them for pushing them into an affair, for upsetting them, or even for physical mistakes they make, such as leaving things behind.

This puts their partner on the defensive. While they’re busy defending themselves or holding them accountable, they’re distracted by what the narcissist did.

Intimidation

Some narcissists become extremely agitated when faced with challenges. Not necessarily because they’re angry, but to intimidate.

Narcissists know you don’t like conflict. So they may avoid taking responsibility by turning your concerns into heated arguments, rather than discussing them rationally, as adults.

This clouds the mood and distracts from your concerns. It also serves as a warning the next time you dare to question them, because you know what will happen next.

Playing the Victim

If all else fails, the narcissist may play the victim to avoid accountability. They may blame mental health issues for their hurting people, or even their upbringing.

Some narcissists learn to cry unintentionally because they know that em paths feel sorry for contributing to their “pain.” So they retreat when they see them “upset.” Even though the narcissist was clearly in the wrong, and they know it.