Welcome! I suggest you make a drink or two and make yourself comfortable. ? Before we get to the main topic, how long will a rebound narcissistic relationship last? Let’s first define these two terms: narcissistic and rebound relationship.
- A narcissist is a person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This means that they have an exaggerated sense of self-worth and importance. They do not care about other people’s feelings but only focus on themselves.
- A rebound relationship means starting a new romantic relationship without moving on from the previous relationship.
So, how does a narcissist behave in a rebound relationship? How long will a rebound narcissistic relationship last, and why? To these and many other questions, you will find the answers below!
How long will a rebound narcissistic relationship last?
Typically, rebound narcissistic relationships last for 2-4 months. In some cases, it may last for a year. In general, a rebound relationship is bound to last a much shorter period than a regular relationship.
If you are in a regular rebound relationship (not including narcissists), you can expect it to last up to 2-3 years. As I mentioned earlier, if you are in a rebound relationship with a narcissist, it will only last a few months; 2-4.
Now you’re probably wondering: What’s the difference between a normal rebound relationship and a narcissistic relationship, and why does the latter last so much shorter? Below is your answer.
7 reasons why narcissistic relationships don’t last long
Rebound narcissistic relationships do not last long because the narcissist’s ego becomes fragile after the relationship ends. They need a lot of admiration and focus only on meeting their narcissistic needs.
Here’s why such a rebound relationship doesn’t last long:
- The narcissist needs a lot of attention and admiration in a rebound relationship
Once a narcissist enters a new relationship, his self-esteem is shattered, and he focuses only on enhancing his self-importance.
If the narcissist is the garbage truck, he or she will not be affected much by the breakup. But if they are the dumper, they will need more care and attention in the rebound relationship than in the previous relationship.
The new partner will not be able to provide that amount of care and affection to the narcissist. Not because they don’t want to, but because the narcissist will appear needy and greedy at the same time, which is something no one wants to put up with in the long run.
- Narcissists take criticism seriously
They don’t understand what constructive criticism is, and they don’t even try to understand it. Narcissists view any type of criticism as a personal attack. (Now you can see the level of narcissism we’re dealing with here.)
We all know that relationships don’t work without the effort and will to improve yourself. Since they are unwilling to accept criticism (because they believe they are perfect), they can end the rebound relationship before it even starts.
I know it sounds silly, but they take criticism seriously. They don’t care about their new partner but they do care about how the narcissist feels.
So, if their new partner does not treat them the way they envisioned, they immediately withdraw and begin looking for such treatment elsewhere. Dating a narcissist is bound to be a painful experience.
- Their insecurity is compounded in the rebound relationship
A narcissist’s world revolves around their self-esteem and seeking validation from others. If a narcissistic person is dumped by their ex-partner, their fears will multiply in the rebound relationship.
Their ego and self-esteem are greatly reduced, and because of this, they will see everything as a red flag in their new relationship.
They will spy on their new partner, constantly ask where they are, ask lots of questions about the people they are hanging out with, and the list goes on and on.
Now imagine that you are in a relationship with such a person. It’s almost impossible not to lose your mind, isn’t it? This is one of the reasons why a narcissistic relationship does not last long.
- Their ego is in control
Regardless of whether they are in a long-term relationship or a rebound relationship, the narcissist’s ego is always in control. It dominates their being and their relationships with others.
Healthy relationships require compromise and leaving your interests aside sometimes. This is something the narcissist never does because he neither knows how nor wants to.
Their ego has complete control over them, so this is the only thing they listen to. If you try to talk to a narcissist about this topic, he or she will accuse you of overreacting.
All of these things make it difficult to maintain a relationship. As long as their ego is in control, they will not be able to create meaningful and deep relationships with others.
- The narcissist has more difficulty getting over his previous relationship
Did you know that a narcissistic person has a harder time getting over their past relationship than normal people? Yes, and do you know why?
Because their ego was tied to the narcissistic supply provided by their ex-partner, they now have difficulty letting go.
When your intentions are ego-driven, you form a stronger attachment with someone (even though we’re talking about an unhealthy attachment).
They were primarily attached to what their ex provided for them and not their overall relationship. Now they no longer have the narcissism that their ex-partner had, they will try to make their ex-partner jealous by posting pictures of their new partner on social media.
This will only make it more difficult to ultimately move forward. Sooner than you know, their rebound relationship will fall apart, and they’ll move on to the next relationship (or their ex).
- Their biggest priority is themselves
A narcissistic relationship revolves around the narcissist being their biggest priority. They don’t care about their family members, current partners, or anyone else.
Their focus is entirely on themselves and what they can gain from this rebound relationship. They never stop for a moment to think, How can I make my current partner happy and satisfied?
They are too busy thinking of new ways to manipulate them to get what they want. Narcissistic manipulation tactics are one of the biggest destroyers of every relationship (including rebounds).
New partners often don’t even know what’s going on because they’re blinded by narcissistic charisma. But when they realize that they have been manipulated all this time, the relationship ends suddenly and forever.
- When they finish playing with you, they will find a new toy
Narcissists have this tendency to see their partners as toys. They enjoy playing with you, manipulating you, and reassuring you that it’s all in your head.
They enjoy more than anything else what you can give them: affection, unconditional love, and care. Well, sometimes they quickly get enough of their new partners and then start looking for a new toy (or, should I say, a rebound toy).
When they are done playing with you because they are no longer interested in what you can offer them, they will switch to another game that is more exciting for them at the moment.
This new game will likely end up like the previous one. In their eyes, each person can give them something that no one else can. Playing with other people’s feelings is their motto, and that’s how they move from one relationship to another.
3 main stages in a regressive narcissistic relationship
A regressive narcissistic relationship consists of three main stages. It begins with the honeymoon phase, matters become more complicated during the devaluation phase and ends with the disposal phase.
Here are the stages of regression in a narcissistic relationship, explained in detail:
- The honeymoon stage
It all starts with the colorful, bright, and promising honeymoon phase. It’s when you feel like you’re on cloud nine 24/7. Everything seems perfect, the butterflies in your stomach are fluttering away, and you can’t see how things could go wrong.
At this point, the narcissist uses the good old method called narcissistic love bombing. They shower you with affection, promise you the land of milk and honey, and that they will always be by your side no matter what.
They seem like your good friend and “the one.” You trust every word they say, and their actions never seem suspicious. While you are at this stage, ask yourself this question: How long will the regressive narcissistic relationship last? You are convinced that it will last forever.
But will he do it?
The honeymoon phase is just a prelude to a rebound relationship that is bound to fail after a few months. Narcissists’ partners usually don’t see this because they are blinded by their false promises, but things will slowly begin to unravel in the next phase.
- The devaluation stage
After the honeymoon phase, the happy chemicals (endorphins, dopamine…) lose their initial intensity due to the advent of reality. This happens to every couple on earth.
You begin to see things from a more realistic point of view. You are no longer your perfect partner, but you are fully aware of their flaws, quirks, and positive aspects. But you still choose them because you love them and truly love them.
However, things are very different when it comes to narcissists at this stage. Instead of embracing the beauty of reality, they become upset and begin to test your understanding. As soon as possible, you will become a victim of narcissistic abuse.
Hoovering (emotional blackmail, a type of emotional abuse), gaslighting, and playing with your mental health became their main concerns. These are all warning signs, and this is exactly what my narcissistic ex did, causing me post-narcissistic disorder.
So, at this point, you will begin to see the narcissist’s true self, his selfish nature, and his reckless behavior. You will question their intentions, every word, and their actions.
- Disposal stage
Once they get bored with their new supply and tire of being manipulated, they will look for another source. Being a narcissistic flying monkey is one of the worst things you can experience in your life.
In the elimination phase (as the name suggests), the narc will leave you without any explanation at all. They won’t care one bit about how you feel, because it’s clear that all this time they’ve only been focused on themselves.
Not only that. They will also accuse you of being a toxic person even though the only toxic partner here is him. If you still love them, your sadness will be inevitable, but for the first time, you will also feel free.
You will have a lot of questions but no answers. They will make you wonder why you were in a rebound relationship with them in the first place.
Was all this just a bad dream? Do they leave you only to come back with an apology? No, they’re leaving because they don’t care about you (well, they never did).
The reason they get into a rebound relationship is to boost their ego after a failed relationship. Are you wondering how to stop a narcissist? Apply the no-contact rule and move on.
How do narcissists deal with breakups?
They deal with it a little differently than the rest of us normal people. Once they break up with their partner, they go into denial and anger.
They try to convince themselves that this is not happening, and they are angry because they no longer have their narcissistic stock. No, they are not angry because they hurt their partner, but because they cannot continue to achieve their selfish goals.
Losing a valuable supply is every narcissist’s biggest nightmare. So, instead of grieving like normal people, they convince themselves that their ex means nothing to them.
By doing this, they prevent negative emotions from hurting what they value most: their ego. So, while they are in the process of deceiving themselves and devoid of reality, they begin to think about finding new supplies.
This new view is also known as the rebound relationship. Their main goal is to find a new victim who will make them feel their value again. Once they find this person, they become very demanding and need constant care and admiration.
They suffocate their new partner to feel alive again. After some time, they get bored of it and decide to find a new source with which they will be more compatible.
This time, they won’t be looking for a quick break, but rather something more “meaningful” that will make them forget their recent breakup.
Related: Life After Loving a Narcissist
Can rebound relationships last for years?
Rebound relationships usually last from a few months to a year. Sometimes, a rebound relationship can turn into a long-term relationship that lasts for years, but this largely depends on the rebounder.
If the rebounding person never succeeds in moving on from their previous relationship, their rebound relationship will suffer and eventually end. However, if the rebound person finds closure in the rebound relationship process, their new relationship can last longer.
To succeed, the rebounder needs to reconnect with his true self and leave his past behind. They need to acknowledge their past hurts and forgive their ex-partner and themselves.
Yes, it is possible to forget about your ex while in a rebound relationship, but it takes time. If the rebound person does not open themselves up to their new partner and give them a chance to connect on a deeper level, their relationship is likely to fail.
Note that this does not apply to narcissistic and unhealthy relationships. The only thing they focus on is finding a new narcissistic source, and then they will turn to another source.
For this reason, a narcissist can’t be in a rebound relationship that lasts for years. It will only last about 2 to 4 months and, in some cases, up to a year. Then, they turn to their next victim.
Conclusion
How long will a rebound narcissistic relationship last? It can last from 2 to 4 months and sometimes up to a year. The main reason why a narcissistic relationship lasts so short is because the narcissist is only focused on bolstering his wounded ego and finding a new source of drugs.
After the honeymoon phase, reality sets in, and with it, the narcissist begins to show his or her true colors. They start feeling angry and manipulate their victim in different ways.
In the final stage of rejection, the narcissist leaves you without any explanation. Moreover, they accuse you of being a toxic partner. After that, they look again for another victim who will satisfy their ego and make them feel important again.
For the narcissist, rebound relationships are just the quick shots he needs to function again. So, they’re not picky about who their next victim will be. They just need someone willing to put up with their manipulative nature (until they get tired of it).
