Being in a long-term relationship with a narcissist can leave you with a range of complex emotions.
The pain of being in a relationship with a narcissist often comes from an accumulation of small actions rather than a single significant event. Suppressing these negative feelings can be detrimental to your health, leading to stress or sadness.
Discovering that you’re not alone and that others have had similar experiences can be incredibly comforting. It reassures you that the problem isn’t you.
In this article, I’ll explore how you feel when you’re in a long-term relationship with a narcissist.
1 They Crush Your Confidence
A narcissist can shake your self-esteem to the core. At first, they make you feel invincible, like you’re the most important person in the universe.
They hang on to your every word, flatter you, and you may feel like you’re in the perfect romantic relationship.
However, just when you’re feeling secure, things change. They criticize little things that you never bothered to think about before, making you suddenly feel inadequate. You go from being their world to feeling completely ignored.
This reciprocal behavior is their game. They go from hot to cold very quickly, leaving you confused and lost.
This confusion is part of their plan. Your insecurities make you more likely to stay and search for the loving person you once knew. It makes you dependent on them—and that’s what they love.
2 They Make You Feel Lonely and Isolate You
Feeling lonely is common when you’re with a narcissist, and it creeps up on you. At first, their undivided attention can make you feel complete. But gradually, you may feel alone, even when they’re by your side.
Narcissists often want to monopolize your time and isolate you from family and friends. They can get jealous, making it difficult to maintain other important relationships.
They may suggest that your friends and family don’t understand your partnership, driving a wedge between you and your support network.
Related : What Do Narcissists Do When You Leave Them?
As a result, you may find yourself relying solely on the narcissist, just as they want. However, their support doesn’t match the understanding and compassion you get from others. It’s like they’re there, but they’re not really there for you.
You end up feeling alone. The narcissist’s intention is clear: to keep you dependent on them.
3 You Feel Exhausted
Being with a narcissist can redefine exhaustion for you. It’s an endless cycle of trying to meet their needs for attention and admiration, but no matter how much you give, it’s never enough.
You constantly strive to please them, hoping to avoid their mood swings. However, the rules are constantly changing. What pleases them one day may be wrong the next, leaving you constantly second-guessing and exhausted.
Meanwhile, your needs are pushed aside as you focus on meeting their whims. Your energy is sapped by the relentless effort, yet their demands remain, leaving you perpetually in a state of emptiness.
This constant exhaustion may not show up at first—it creeps in when you fall into a routine of endless giving.
4 Walking on eggshells
Living with a narcissist can be filled with constant fear. You tread carefully, always on edge, never knowing when they will strike or give you the silent treatment.
You remain perplexed about what might upset them, something you say or don’t say, or even something completely out of your control.
This fear quietly infects every part of your daily life. You change your behavior, your words, and your thoughts to avoid conflict. You’re always on alert, trying to prevent the next explosion.
This state of constant vigilance is stressful. Simple choices become sources of anxiety. Choosing a movie or where to eat seems risky, not fun or relaxing.
In the back of your mind, you understand that their reactions are unpredictable, no matter how careful you are. This fear persists because the person who should be your support system is the one causing you stress.
5 You Feel Frustrated
Frustration is a constant when dealing with a narcissist. You may try to have an honest conversation about your problems, but you often feel like you’re talking to a wall. They dismiss your concerns, twist your words, or suggest that you’re imagining things.
Reaching out to them can seem like an impossible task. They don’t really listen or consider your words. Instead, they may turn the tables and blame you.
With no solution in sight, problems escalate, leaving you feeling trapped. You work hard to improve the situation, but it feels like a solo effort in a game they’re not even playing.
There’s no natural exchange in a healthy relationship with a narcissist. It’s their way or no way, leaving you mired in frustration.
6 You Feel Despair
A relationship with a narcissist can feel like a place of hopelessness. No matter what you try, improvement seems elusive, leaving you wondering if this cycle of ups and downs is your new normal.
You’ve been through all these stages, hoping for a stable, happy phase that doesn’t last.
This constant state of despair is exhausting. Days may seem bleaker, and the joy that should be part of your partnership seems far away. You feel like you can barely survive, draining yourself without moving forward.
7 They Make You Feel Guilty About Everything
Being with a narcissist often means living with an unjustified sense of guilt. They seem to have a knack for making you feel guilty about everything, no matter how trivial.
For example, if you’re running late, you might be accused of neglecting the entire relationship, or your desire to see friends might be portrayed as you’ve abandoned your partner.
This guilt can creep into your daily life, making any mistake seem like a big deal. The narcissist doesn’t hesitate to bring up old mistakes just to make sure the guilt doesn’t fade away.
You might end up in a cycle of apologies, trying to make amends for supposed wrongdoings. This can happen even when you know logically that you’ve done nothing wrong.
8 You Feel Ashamed
Bearing shame is often an unwanted part of being with a narcissist.
They excel at making you feel ashamed about things you shouldn’t blame yourself for, like failing to meet their lofty and unrealistic expectations.
Related : 18 Ways How Narcissists Argue With You
Think about times when you’re excited to share a story with friends, and the narcissist interrupts you with sarcasm or criticism.
These snarky remarks are meant to belittle you and are often used covertly as well, undermining your self-esteem by targeting your actions, choices, and character.
This constant shaming can destroy your sense of self-worth. You may withdraw, fear judgment, and feel like you can’t measure up.
It’s hard to maintain self-esteem when the person you care about constantly highlights your perceived flaws.
9 You Feel Like You’re Losing Yourself
As you navigate a relationship with a narcissist, you may begin to feel like you’re losing the essence of who you are.
The passions, hobbies, and unique perspectives you once held dear are gradually pushed aside as the narcissist’s demands take precedence.
Your interests and desires may end up on the back burner, with the narcissist’s needs shaping the course of your life. You may even give up your favorite activities because you’re too exhausted to pursue them.
The changes can be so gradual that you don’t even realize they’re happening until one day, when you barely recognize yourself.
Your style, voice, and what you once stood for may change because they’ve convinced you they don’t matter.
This erosion of your identity is deeply burdensome. You may feel like you’ve become just a shell of the person you once were.
10 You Feel Trapped
Feeling trapped is often part of being with a narcissist. It is an emotional bond that makes you feel like you are being held back without any restrictions.
The desire to escape or change your situation may seem remote because they have convinced you that you are too dependent on them.
They plant thoughts in your mind that you can’t handle on your own or that no one else will tolerate you. These thoughts can feel like invisible chains, keeping you tied down in the relationship.
Try to break away, and you may be met with an explosion designed to drag you back into the fray. This influence they wield can make you afraid to take any steps toward freedom, trapping you in a vicious cycle of control and helplessness.
11 Feeling Invisible
Feeling invisible can be your reality in a relationship with a narcissist. You may be right next to them, yet feel ignored, unheard, and as if what you have to say or think doesn’t matter.
They may interrupt you or belittle your opinions during conversations. Your accomplishments may be ignored or overshadowed by their need for attention. This can make you feel like a shadow, invisible and unheard in your own life.
But it’s more than just feeling ignored. It’s losing the sense that your voice matters. You may think you don’t have a right to be noticed, which is far from the truth. Acknowledgment and appreciation are a basic need.
12 You feel like everything is your fault
In a relationship with a narcissist, you may often feel like “everything is your fault.”
They subtly blame you for every incident. If you accidentally break something or are simply in a bad mood, it somehow becomes something that provoked you.
Living under a microscope where every action is criticized can leave you feeling like you’re always at fault and constantly on the defensive. The narcissist often avoids responsibility, leaving you to pick up the pieces and take the blame.
Carrying this emotional burden is exhausting and unfair. You’re pushed into a corner, constantly apologizing and trying to right even the smallest wrong. This endless blame erodes your self-esteem and can make you question your worth.
Conclusion
Understanding how being in a relationship with a narcissist has affected you is the first step toward healing. The mixed feelings of confusion, isolation, self-doubt, and feeling unappreciated or invisible can leave deep scars.
Recognizing patterns of narcissistic behavior, and the often invisible emotional bonds that hold you down, is a powerful act of self-awareness.
Healing from a relationship with a narcissist is possible, and it’s never too late to start the process.
It starts with believing that you deserve a healthier, more balanced life. Support is available, and seeking it out is a courageous and self-affirming decision.
