There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to get a dopamine rush. Knowing that someone is chasing you feeds your ego and makes you feel special, which is why many narcissists find it addictive.

Narcissists love being chased because it gives them control and boosts their fragile ego. It also gives them a sense of power and narcissistic supply.

Unfortunately, chasing someone all the time can be exhausting, and there will come a time when you want to break away and focus some of that attention on yourself for a change. This can be a dangerous move.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, they may devalue you or go into narcissistic rage. They will use manipulative tactics to get you to engage in the chase again, so they can regain control.

I want to give you some tips on how a narcissist should respond when you stop chasing them and prepare you for the potential consequences.

5 Ways a Narcissist Reacts When You Stop Pursuing Them

1 He Devalues ​​You

A narcissist may devalue you if you stop pursuing him to regain a sense of power and control.

When he feels his influence over you is diminishing, he may resort to devaluation tactics to assert his dominance and re-establish his perceived superiority.

The narcissist always wants to be in the driver’s seat, exactly where you put him when you started chasing him.

Related : How Do Narcissists Isolate Their Partners From Family and Friends?

Now that you want to take that power away, he will use love bombing to work his way back into your affections and take the wheel again.

By showering you with gifts, compliments, and excessive affection, he will try to get and keep your attention.

He will chase you for as long as it takes to get you back under his spell, at which point he will start running, expecting you to chase him. The sad thing is, you probably will.

Once a narcissist has you hooked through love bombing, he will often revert to his previous manipulative, controlling, and emotionally exploitative behaviors. This is where the cycle of idealization, devaluation, and devaluation comes in.

As the initial euphoria of the love bombing phase wears off, the narcissist’s true motivations become clear.

They may begin to gradually withdraw their affection, attention, and effort, leaving you desperate to regain their initial intensity and eager to start chasing them again to get it.

This push-and-pull relationship is emotionally exhausting and keeps you trapped in an endless loop.

The narcissist’s ability to alternate between showering you with affection and withdrawing it keeps you chasing them, putting them in the driver’s seat.

3 They Pursue Someone Else

The thrill of the chase can be so addictive that the moment someone stops chasing you, you start chasing someone else.

This is because our brains experience spikes in dopamine when we pursue romantic interest. These spikes in dopamine intensify our emotional state, encouraging us to pursue more of these pleasurable experiences.

This is especially true for the narcissist, who needs constant admiration and reassurance to maintain their fragile self-esteem.

When they are being chased, their ego is constantly boosted, and they thrive on the attention and control they have over their pursuers. However, when the chase stops, it creates a void that threatens their sense of superiority.

As the chase ends, they lose the attention they crave, leading to feelings of inadequacy and abandonment.

To counter this, they may seek out someone else to chase after them, restarting the cycle to regain the desired ego-boosting effects.

Essentially, the narcissist’s reaction to the end of the chase feeds on deep-seated insecurities and fears of being left without the validation that supports their sense of self-worth.

The thrill of the chase becomes a continuous cycle where they desperately seek the emotional high it provides, perpetuating their need for external validation.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, it threatens their need for constant attention and validation.

To maintain their sense of control and superiority, they may chase someone else to re-establish their self-worth and maintain their desired level of dopamine-induced excitement.

Chasing someone new allows the narcissist to shift their focus away from your withdrawal, which reduces their emotional impact while simultaneously satisfying their desire for attention.

4 They Fly Into Narcissistic Rage

When I first thought, “How do narcissists react when you stop chasing them?” the idea of ​​narcissistic rage popped into my mind.

Withdrawing your attention by ceasing the chase threatens the narcissist’s self-image, causing them a deep narcissistic injury. The narcissist cannot control this or the pain they are experiencing, which can lead to narcissistic rage.

While this can take many forms, when it occurs in response to someone stopping their pursuit, it is usually expressed as an explosive outburst of anger, hostility, and often manipulation.

The narcissist’s ego is so intricately tied to their perceived superiority and dominance that any perceived challenge to this image is met with a ferocious response.

When you stop pursuing, the narcissist may bombard you with messages, show up unexpectedly, stalk you, or resort to emotional blackmail to pull you back into their orbit.

They may tell you that they have nothing to live for now that you’ve lost interest in them and threaten to hurt themselves.

Related : 28 Unmistakable Signs Of The Narcissist ( How Many Do You Recognize?)

Recognize these explosive reactions for what they are—the result of a challenge to a fragile self-image—and maintain your boundaries.

By staying grounded, you can protect yourself from their attempts to re-pursue the narcissist and protect your mental and emotional health.

5 They Unleash the Flying Monkeys

Imagine that you not only stop chasing the narcissist, but you take it a step further and start ignoring them as well.

By cutting off all forms of communication, you have effectively closed the door on them, giving them no way to regain that attention and control they so desperately need.

The narcissist must find alternative means to persuade you to return to the chase, and this means deploying flying monkeys.

Flying monkeys are anyone the narcissist controls and can manipulate into doing his bidding. The narcissist uses them to extract information from you, to intervene on his behalf, or to guilt you into reconnecting with him.

Flying monkeys serve several purposes for the narcissist in this situation. First, they extend their influence over your life even if you have withdrawn direct involvement.

Second, they create confusion and emotional turmoil while you face multiple external pressures to return to the chase.

Third, they allow the narcissist to maintain an image of innocence or victimhood, and shift the blame onto you.

The narcissistic ex may encourage mutual friends to reach out, expressing concern for their safety and suggesting that you reconsider your decision to cut off contact.

They may use guilt-inducing phrases such as “You’re hurting them badly” or “They’re really struggling without you.” These orchestrated manipulations attempt to reignite feelings of responsibility and guilt, drawing you back into the chase.

In this complex dance, it is crucial to recognize that these flying monkeys are often unwittingly caught in the web of narcissistic manipulation.

Understanding their role can help you resist their influence and commit to your choice to break away.

Why do narcissists want you to chase them?

Narcissists want you to chase them because it feeds their need for constant attention, validation, and control.

When you chase them, you make them feel desired and admired, validating their inflated sense of self-importance and superiority.

For narcissists, stalking reinforces their belief that they are special and deserving of constant attention.

It flatters their ego and puts them firmly in the driver’s seat. This position allows them to manipulate the relationship to their advantage, keeping you constantly on the hunt.

Narcissists use stalking to exploit your emotional vulnerabilities. They thrive on the emotional rollercoaster of love and longing, and enjoy the dopamine hit that comes with it and the knowledge that they can control your feelings and actions.

Narcissists want you to stalk them because it satisfies their deep-seated need for control, admiration, and affirmation.

It gives them constant attention and emotional energy, which feeds their ego and reinforces their distorted self-image.