Narcissists thrive on their narcissistic supply, the oxygen they need from attention. So, serious illness or manna is manna from heaven for narcissists.

They can demand almost unlimited attention from their families and caregivers,

even regaining control over adult children who have fled the nest and they all have to, because who would ignore a sick or dying parent?

Being seriously ill is no picnic for anyone and sympathy and help are often deserved, rightfully so.

The problem is that if the ill person is a narcissist, what is offered is usually far less than what is required.

Let’s give you some examples of how a narcissist acts when they are sick.

LetMeTellYouAboutMyTumor

When they are healthy, a narcissist will brag about their physical accomplishments, and the somatic narcissist in particular will put on a grand physical display.

Their physical accomplishments will be the subject of grand gestures and boasts.

But if their health fails, they can quickly turn tragedy into advantage, and their illness into a mission to attract attention.

Related : 5 Reasons Why a Narcissist Wants You Back

If the narcissist has undergone major surgery, or has been in a car accident where they are injured, or has cancer, their journey with the disease will be the subject of equally grand boasts.

Either the surgery was the most complicated, or the cancer was the rarest, or the chemotherapy was the most grueling, or their survival was more miraculous than anyone else’s, ever!

In addition, they will be able to recount the number of times they have “died” at the table.

The illness will give them a new lease on life and they will relish the narcissistic supply of attention.

Even when they are in remission or when they are given the green light, they will cling to the care and attention by claiming that they need something to continue living in good health.

This can include everything from stress reduction, so they need constant care to reduce it, to a special diet that a loving caregiver must travel miles to get on their behalf.

This exaggerated inability ensures the continuity of narcissistic supply.

MyDoctorIsIncompetent

Another strange aspect of the pathological narcissist is their relationship with the medical profession.

Narcissists need “the best.” If they are offered the best surgeon or specialist with a good reputation, this in itself will satisfy their need for grandeur and narcissistic supply.

They will see this as their right and something to brag about.

However, in certain circumstances, the narcissist may disparage the professionals who care for them:

First, a young or junior doctor will automatically be “not good enough” to care for them because there will not be enough reflected glory.

In addition, any fear they may have about their body failing may cause them to panic, a feeling that can only be reduced by access to an expert.

Second, if the doctor suggests a lifestyle change such as losing weight might help,

it is natural in the narcissist’s eyes that they are unaware of the difficulties that achieving such a change would bring to their miserable suffering:

“Because of this disease, I can’t even go to the gym now and you’re telling me to give up pasta!”

Third, if the doctor disagrees with the narcissist’s self-diagnosis and acts as a gateway to a higher power or referral.

For example, a person who is convinced they have pancreatic cancer may be told that their pain is just irritable bowel syndrome and can be treated with anticonvulsants.

This can lead to a full-blown narcissistic rage including formal complaints and phone calls to superiors.

Finally, a doctor who tells the person they are cured and can resume normal activities may also be belittled because this would deprive the narcissist of the attention and care they were getting from their “patient role.”

The narcissist may not accept losing their supplies without a fight, which may include writing letters and meetings with upper management at the hospital.

Treating a narcissist can seem like a no-go situation for an inexperienced doctor and is best avoided if possible.

Preventable

Narcissistic patients may become experts on their condition, by researching and learning everything there is to know about the disease, the correct terminology, the latest research, and media speculation.

Examples such as environmental pollution, radio waves from transmitters, failed medications or vaccination tragedies may all fit the bill.

Related : Understanding and Handling the 4 Types of Narcissism

They will seek attention for the injustice they have suffered, not concerned with making things right or preventing future injustices,

but rather enjoying the avoidable sunshine of their suffering (a narcissistic parent with a sick child could also adopt this role because attention is attention, and who cares where it comes from?).

In the role of experts now, they will make a lot of noise about what went wrong and can be effective in setting up charities, information sites, Facebook groups or even appearing on Vox pop TV as a ‘patient expert’ or advocate.

IOnlyWeeksToLive

Once diagnosed, the search for attention and narcissistic supply begins. This search is now made easier by the role of social media in almost everyone’s life these days.

A post that provides graphic details of the narcissist’s suffering can be liked and shared just as often as a post that has real ‘gravity’ since most social media users including Twitter and Facebook rarely apply their critical faculties to the things they read and share.

This can be a vital opportunity for the narcissist as they can get actual numbers
on their narcissistic supply for example:

“My post about how sick I am on medication got 500 likes and 250 shares!”

While this supply is not as nourishing as the supply that comes from family and friends face-to-face,

it can be the gift that keeps on giving as posts can arrive slowly and notifications can last for days.

Illness and disability are unpleasant for everyone, including narcissists, but they can make something of it that the rest of us cannot.