One pattern of pain comes from the hearts of those who are subjected to narcissistic abuse.

A truly sad act that defies all logic of common sense.

Moment after moment of extreme frustration and uncertainty that fuels anxiety, confusion, and sadness.

The Silent Treatment.

I get asked daily how to deal with the silent treatment when a narcissist decides to give it, and I always have these five answers up my sleeve.

Knowing how to handle the situation gives you the power to remind you who is truly in control.

What is the Silent Treatment?

The silent treatment is a technique that involves the narcissist deliberately withdrawing or disengaging from you. You may notice this during conversations, or through text messages. It can even happen at work, through correspondence, or with friends.

There is no limit to what can happen to you, but if the narcissist is involved – it will happen at some point.

Why is it used?

People with a narcissistic personality disorder use the silent treatment to control, coerce, and manipulate you.

They want you to walk on eggshells. They want to make the ground you walk on unstable. Narcissists can stay silent until you give in to their desires.

Related :  Are Narcissists Lying or Delusional?

They enjoy seeing you give them extra attention because of their silence, which is why they do it.

Narcissists want to punish you. Maybe you did something they didn’t like.

They may be trying to isolate your seemingly bad behavior.

They pull away, so you pursue them, which is cruel.

AllBecauseTheyEnjoyIt.

Signs of the Silent Treatment and How It Makes You Feel

Ignoring Your Needs – This can make you wonder why your values ​​don’t match. You may wonder why you feel alone in a relationship or friendship.

Physical distancing after a conflict – This is a trick to get you to reflect and think about what happened, and how it could have been different. Silent treatment like this can be a punishment. It usually only ends when the person receiving it offers some sort of apology, even if they weren’t the one responsible.

Avoid eye contact – This can make people feel lonely, and is a clear sign that the narcissist views them as insignificant. It reignites feelings of low self-esteem in anyone who tolerates them.

Disengagement – ​​Of course – the questions begin. What did I do wrong? Are you okay? How can I make it up to you? This is exactly what the narcissist wants – for you to beg them at their front door for forgiveness. It’s all about control and guilt.

Giving one- or two-word answers – If left open to interpretation, the narcissist will mumble or say something here and there. Then you wonder what you did that was so wrong. You try to draw more from them, but that only makes them more angry. Then you apologize for that, too.

How to Deal with the Silent Treatment

So – this is when you really take your power back.

Five Effective Ways to Deal with the Silent Treatment.

Keep Your Boundaries Healthy

I can’t tell you how important it is to check that your boundaries are strong and solid.

Knowing what you will and won’t tolerate will get you out of the quicksand faster than you fall into it.

Check Your Feelings – “Check”

The unpredictability of anyone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) will make most people feel like they’re sitting in a constant earthquake. They’re walking in a state of uncertainty, waiting for the next time the ground shakes them from one side to the other.

Related :How Do You Know a Narcissist is Lying?

Regularly checking in with yourself will prevent you from feeling like you’re completely losing yourself in this situation.

It’s also okay to remind yourself that feeling sad, frustrated, angry, hurt, or confused are all feelings you’re entitled to feel when you’re under the influence or control of a narcissist.

After everything they’ve put you through – it’s no wonder these feelings come to the fore.

Wait – Then Respond

The silent treatment fuels insecurities in people who may already be unsure of themselves and struggling with confidence.

Pausing before you dive in and asking what’s wrong is very helpful. It will give you the opportunity to validate and acknowledge your own feelings.

Finding familiarity with someone who does this often can sometimes shed new light on the situation.

Calm yourself down if you have to, and tell yourself that you are fine and safe. The narcissist does what they do, and they know it works for you.

Now is the time to stop buying into what they are selling.

TimeToReevaluate

When the silent treatment becomes a habitual way for the narcissist to attract you and you put all your priorities aside for them – it is time.

It is time to ask yourself if this relationship or friendship is mutual. Ask yourself if respect and kindness are often given by both parties.

Ask yourself if you feel safe in this, and if it makes you feel better or worse about yourself.

If you are unable to communicate your needs or thoughts – ask yourself why it is so difficult. Do you feel like you are not being heard? Are you worried that you will provoke anger or resentment? Are their problems always bigger than yours?

Give yourself that time – because it’s important to figure out what’s going on.

Find a Support System

I always bring this up – no matter what the concern is. Support systems are like organs in your life – they serve a purpose and are essential to your growth.

Related : How to prevent dating yet another narcissist?

Now, I’m not telling you to go out and make 50 new friends. I’m telling you to find people in your life that you can trust and rely on.

If that’s hard enough in itself – there are professionals you can ask for help from. They will really help you sort out what’s going on and how you’re feeling.

Narcissistic abuse locks the other person’s emotions in a cage and throws away the key. Over time, you can forget that the cage exists as the narcissist lives their emotions through you.

The real joy comes from discovering that you have your own version of the key in your pocket.