Narcissists crave constant attention, and when their charm doesn’t get them the attention they need, they become victims. It’s all about getting the attention and admiration they so desperately need to boost their ego.

By becoming victims, they make people feel sorry for them. When people feel sorry for them, they are securing that much-needed attention from you and others around them. It’s common for them to act like everyone is wrong or trying to get them down. This is their effort to gain sympathy and positive attention from you.

There are several ways a narcissist can make you feel sorry for them. You should be aware of these tactics to help protect yourself and your mental health when dealing with a narcissistic partner or family member.

Exaggeration

When a narcissist tries to make you feel sorry for them and play the victim, they are lying. This is a common trait among people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As a result, they are likely to exaggerate the truth to gain your sympathy.

Related : 6 Alternatives to Calling Out the Narcissist

They don’t feel empathy and won’t feel guilty for lying. They aim to stay in the spotlight, getting the attention they need to boost their ego and self-esteem.

In other words, they will exaggerate the truth to make you see that they have been victimized and gain your sympathy and attention.

Playing the Victim

Narcissists can change their personas in the blink of an eye. They are masters of disguise and can easily play the victim to get the attention they so desperately want. Most often, they play the victim.

They will change their disguise to portray the victim when they see that their usual tactics are not working with you. Being the victim will guarantee them the positive attention and sympathy they need, which once again ensures that they are the center of your attention.

If they walk into a room and no one is greeting them, they will quickly change and tell you that these people don’t like them. This is their quick thinking to play the victim, so you feel sorry for them immediately.

Convincing You They Need Your Help

Narcissists will try to convince you that they need your help because they have been victimized. This is a common sign that they are trying to make you feel sorry for them. As you know, they usually don’t need help with anything, because they are superior to everyone around them. When they suddenly ask for help, it’s a warning sign.

The narcissist will often ask for help, and try to turn you into a flying monkey. Flying monkeys are the ones that do the narcissist’s bidding, so they don’t get the blame.

Related : What is Narcissistic Projection? (With Examples)

Be very careful when they ask you for help, no matter what it is, they are probably just trying to get something out of you by making you feel sorry for them.

MakingYouFeelGuilt

One thing narcissists are good at is shifting blame. They want to control you and the situation, so they are very quick to shift blame when they do or act badly. This includes making you feel guilty.

In most cases, they will accuse you of doing something they did, making you feel guilty and sorry for them. When you feel guilty, you feel sorry for the person you hurt, in this case, the narcissist.

Don’t fall for this typical tactic. Don’t let a narcissist make you think you did something you didn’t just to make you feel sorry for them.

Lying

Narcissists are compulsive liars. They lie about everything and anything, from big things to the smallest things. Lying is a natural part of their lives and they think it’s normal. In fact, when they lie, they think they’re superior to you.

This means that if a narcissist wants you to feel sorry for them, they’ll lie to get the attention they need. As superior, in their mind, they think you won’t even realize they’re lying.

Narcissists see themselves as superior to everyone, including their partners. If they need something from you, they’ll make you feel sorry for them to get what they want or need.

Creating Confusion

If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for some time, you’ve probably experienced your fair share of drama. They love to stir up confusion, convincing you that you’ve done something wrong, when in fact it was them who did it. By doing this, they make you feel sorry for them.

Something as simple as getting a speeding ticket can become your problem, so you feel bad and feel sorry for them right away. They may say, “If I hadn’t talked so much while I was driving, I wouldn’t have been distracted and wouldn’t have gotten that speeding ticket.”

Related : The Narcissist and Money Control

By creating confusion, they make you feel sorry for them. In return, you take all the blame.

BlamingYouForTheirMood

Narcissists never do anything wrong. Even when they know they’re wrong, they won’t admit it. This means they’ll play the blame game when they’re angry or don’t get the reaction they want to feel important or in complete control of you and your actions.

One of the favorite sayings you’ll come across when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist is, “I can’t believe you’re blaming me for that” or “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have called you names.”

By blaming you for their mood, they make you feel sorry for them. By feeling sorry for them, they maintain control, which is what a controlling narcissist thrives on.

Accusing You of Being a Narcissist

This has to be the best one of them all. When a narcissist wants you to feel sorry for them and they’re not getting anywhere with their usual tactics, they’ll turn the tables and blame you for being a narcissist. This is pretty ironic coming from someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Why do they do this?

Related : What do Narcissists do With Truth Tellers?

By playing the victim, they can deflect any attention associated with their behavior, which helps them avoid accountability. When you feel sorry for them, they feel superior and important. They don’t care how they get the attention they need, as long as they get it.

Anyone in a relationship with a narcissist needs to know the signs they use to make you feel sorry for them. It’s important to hold on to your self-worth and not let your self-esteem be affected. Living with a narcissist isn’t easy, but if you know what to expect, you can gain the upper hand by not giving in to their tactics.