Narcissists see life as a game, and their main goal is to win. Ending a relationship with them is not something they are used to because they have mastered their craft. They are the ones who do the abandonment, not you. So don’t expect to walk away from the relationship easily.
They will do everything in their power to bring you back into the relationship. But not because they love you, miss you, and want to be with you, but so they can have the last laugh.
If you want a peaceful life after leaving your partner, I advise you to leave town and keep your whereabouts a secret. Narcissists are relentless, and when they are hurt, they will not give up without a fight.
If you want to know “how do narcissists feel when you move on”, keep reading.
How do narcissists feel when you move on?
It is normal to feel humiliated when you are dumped, and your ex moves on. Deep down, you may feel like you are not good enough, and now that they have dumped you, they have found the man or woman of their dreams.
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However, in the end, the rational mind will conclude that it wasn’t meant to be, and they will move on with their life. Unfortunately, with a narcissistic ex, this is not the case, and they will experience emotions in a way that the average person doesn’t.
1 The Narcissist Will Get Angry
For most narcissists, a breakup is a huge blow to their self-esteem. What it means to them is that their cover has been blown. You’ve seen through the mask, and the image of perfection they tried to project has failed.
This means that the self-loathing they tried to bury has come to the surface, and the person they’re with no longer sees them as an angelic being but as a flawed human being just like everyone else.
By walking away, you’re cutting off the narcissist’s supply, which will trigger intense feelings of anger that they may not be able to control. My advice is that if you’re planning to leave, don’t have a conversation about it; just walk away.
The anger that typical narcissists display is not normal; they’re reacting to the shame they feel when their insecurities come to the surface.
You can’t predict how narcissistic anger will manifest itself, it can be passive or aggressive. But the aggressive side is the one you don’t want to be on the receiving end of because it can turn violent.
2 Narcissists Feel Cheated
Narcissists will feel cheated out of their chance to win. As mentioned, they are the ones who end relationships, not the victims.
Narcissists need to control every aspect of their lives and their partners’ lives. The fact that they couldn’t see this coming will be a knife in the teeth. Remember, life is a big game for narcissists, and losing only means one thing: the winner has found a way to get ahead through cheating.
Once they realize they were blindsided, they will want revenge.
3 Narcissists Will Want Revenge
Narcissists have an arsenal of revenge tactics, and they won’t give up without a fight. Here are some of the tricks you can expect narcissists to pull when you break up with them.
Your friends and family will love your narcissist, and you are the only one who knows how vicious your narcissistic ex truly is. Therefore, the narcissist will fight tooth and nail to ensure that their reputation remains intact.
After the breakup, they’ll go around your inner circle telling everyone how evil you are, how manipulative you are, and how you’ve completely destroyed their self-esteem.
Basically, they’ll say that everything the narcissist did to you, you did to them. They’ll give an Oscar-winning performance, and most people will believe it.
The next thing you know, your phone will be blowing up with messages asking everyone why you mistreated your partner.
4 The Narcissist Won’t Take Responsibility
Narcissists are incapable of self-reflection, and they’ll never admit to the role they played in the relationship’s collapse. Instead, they’ll blame you; if you leave, it’s because of the way you made them treat you.
Related : What Does a Narcissist Want in a Relationship?
They yell at you just because you’re disobedient. They call you fat just because you refuse to go to the gym; they call you stupid just because you don’t follow their advice. In other words, every horrible thing your partner did to you was because you forced them to do it.
Since everything was your fault, that means the only way the relationship will work is if you change. And that’s how narcissists hope you’ll see things so you can come back groveling and over-exerting yourself trying to be the best lover in the world.
How do narcissists react when you move on?
They don’t react very well. You can expect the narcissist to launch a military attack on you, similar to World War III. After breaking up with a narcissist, prepare yourself for the fight of your life.
1 The Narcissist Will Promise Change
If your narcissistic ex is able to reach you, they will resort to the love bombing phase. Expect to start receiving flowers and gifts at home or work; He will send you text messages, emails, and handwritten letters professing his undying love for you.
The narcissist may show up at your place of residence. The strategy here is to lure you in by reminding you of how good the relationship was in the past.
He will promise you that things will go back to the way they were, that you will feel safe this time, and that he will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Don’t get carried away; that’s how he got his claws into you in the first place.
2 The Narcissist Will Insist That You Made a Mistake
After being in a relationship with a narcissist for some time, you won’t have much confidence in yourself.
All you’ve heard since you met them is that you’re incapable of thinking for yourself and that you need them for everything.
You obviously can’t dress yourself, you can’t feed yourself, you can’t cross the road on your own. You’ve become dependent on them because they’ve convinced you that you need to.
If that’s the case, how can you possibly be able to break up? The typical narcissist will tell you that you’re not in the right frame of mind, that you’re making a silly mistake and that you should go home and leave all your shit behind.
3 The Narcissist Will Make You Feel Guilty for Leaving You
Guilt is like a weapon of mass destruction to the narcissist. He knows he can drop it on you at any time and it will work because in a twisted way, what he says is justified.
One of the reasons narcissists invest so much in the love bombing phase is because they know they can use it against you later.
Your ex will remind you of all the things he did for you, the vacations he took you on, the clothes and gifts he bought you. And how he loved and cared for you when everyone else left you.
The narcissist will resort to telling you how cruel, selfish, stingy, and greedy you are to leave you when you owe them your life.
Related : When a Narcissist Sees You Cry How Does He React?
The narcissist hopes that such accusations will make you feel bad, and that your heart will break when you know that they think of you that way.
If they succeed in manipulating your emotions in this way, your response will be to turn back and spend the rest of your days trying to prove that you are not the evil witch they think you are.
4 The Narcissist is stalking you on every platform
Narcissists are predators, and their goal is to capture your heart and destroy your soul. When predators start to lose control, they cling to their prey even more tightly.
Rejection is a narcissist’s worst nightmare, a personal attack on their character, and this is not something they take lightly.
After a breakup, one of their coping mechanisms will be to pretend that you are still together. Even if the narcissist has gotten over it, they won’t let you. I’m sure you’ve had many arguments about him maintaining contact with his exes when you were together.
He has fought tooth and nail to convince you that he has every right to remain friends with his exes. Please understand that it’s all about control, and he may even be stalking them.
They want to know every last detail about their ex’s life, how they feel, what they think, what they do, and where they go.
Apart from bombarding you with phone calls, emails, and texts, and showing up at your home and work, they will track your movements.
You can expect them to use certain apps that connect to your phone or social media accounts. If the narcissist can’t find you, they may even hire a private investigator to track you down.
5 The Narcissist Will Attack Your New Partner
Narcissists have convinced themselves that they are the best thing in the world since toast was invented. They are completely delusional in their belief that you could never want to be with anyone else because there is no one better than them.
Because you have moved on to someone new, your new partner acts as a constant reminder that they were never good enough for you, so they will attack them.
They will start spreading false facts about your new lover and smearing them everywhere. The narcissist will try to destroy your relationship by starting rumors of infidelity.
Your ex will attack your new lover from every angle, if they can’t wear you down, they will start working on your partner.
Will the narcissist let you move on? Do they want you back?
A narcissist will not let you go without a fight. He will call you in the middle of the night drunk and crying and talking on the phone about how broken he is because you left.
He will show up at your house claiming to collect his belongings when he knows full well that his belongings are no longer in the house.
If you have children together, this gets even worse. He will do things like get a court order against you legally requiring you to talk to them about the children.
But of course, the narcissist will not talk to you about the children; instead, he will use that time to bombard you with his nonsense about rekindling the relationship. It is not uncommon for a narcissist to threaten suicide.
This is all a guilt trip tactic to lure you back in. Don’t be fooled, but I would advise you to refer your ex to a suicide prevention line if he plays this card. It is better to be safe than sorry.
And no, the narcissist does not want to get back together because he is sorry and believes he made a huge mistake by abusing you. Instead, the narcissist is chasing you to satisfy his ego.
In fact, be afraid when your ex starts stalking you because hell hath no fury as the narcissist has recorded.
Final Thoughts
Run for the hills and don’t look back lest you turn into a pillar of salt! You’ve suffered enough, and if the narcissist ever gets his hands on you again, you can expect total annihilation.
At the same time that he’s doing everything he can to get you back, the narcissist is plotting how to improve his performance to ensure you don’t slip through the cracks again.
They will multiply the three stages of the relationship by 10 and the only one who will suffer is you. How the narcissist feels when you move on is none of your business.
Please don’t feel guilty about leaving because you deserve all the peace and happiness life has to offer. Once they realize you’re not coming back, they’ll find another victim.
