The term “narcissist” is often misapplied and misinterpreted in casual conversations. By definition, a narcissist is someone who has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a mental health condition characterized by symptoms of narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical condition diagnosed by a mental health provider or therapist, while the term “narcissist” has become a modern-day buzzword, often used as an umbrella term to describe individuals who display extreme confidence, self-centered behavior, or dismissive behavior. Feelings. The needs of others. However, true pathological narcissism involves a combination of personality traits, such as low self-esteem, manipulative behavior, and vulnerable narcissism, which often emerge in early adulthood and may require interventions such as talk therapy or family therapy to help manage.
Narcissistic personality disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) belongs to a class of other personality disorders characterized by dramatic, impulsive, self-destructive, or emotional behaviors. A diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder requires that the person being evaluated be negatively affected by his or her narcissistic behaviors and accept responsibility for his or her recovery.
To be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, a person must exhibit five of the following nine narcissistic traits:
Great sense of self-importance.
Preoccupation with delusions of success, power, beauty, or intelligence.
The belief that they are unique and can only be understood by unique individuals or institutions.
It requires excessive admiration.
Carries a sense of entitlement or unreasonable expectations of preferential treatment.
- Willingness to exploit others and benefit from them to achieve their own goals.
Lacks empathy and concern for the needs of others.
Often envies others or believes that others envy them.
Displays arrogant and self-aggrandizing behaviors.
A careful reader will likely notice a major theme within the NPD diagnostic criteria: self-esteem. Narcissism is often framed as a lack of self-esteem characterized by a person’s inability to develop a positive self-image in a healthy way. Without a good sense of self-esteem, a person is forced to rely on pathological narcissistic traits to feel positive about themselves.
Covert narcissists and those with borderline personality disorder may also face the slightest criticism and display antisocial behavior. Because of the difficult nature of diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder, this article will focus primarily on narcissistic tendencies. A person with narcissistic tendencies may or may not meet the criteria for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, but his or her actions may affect others in the same way as those of a person with the diagnosis, sometimes leading to alcohol misuse or other risk factors that require intervention.
Types of narcissism
Narcissism is often divided into two distinct subtypes: narcissistic and vulnerable. A person with grandiose narcissistic tendencies tends to be extroverted, often charming, and generally free of self-doubt and anxiety. A person in this category has a very high opinion of themselves, considers themselves above their peers, and expects special treatment.
A person with weak narcissistic tendencies is likely to be self-absorbed, need constant reassurance, and be concerned about how they are perceived. They are rarely outgoing and may shy away from attention. While those with vulnerable narcissistic traits believe they are superior to others, similar to grandiose narcissism, their fear of criticism leads them to keep this belief to themselves.
A person with narcissistic tendencies in either subtype may be deceptive, manipulative, or ignore the needs of others to achieve his or her goals; A lack of empathy is seen in both subtypes.
Where does narcissism come from?
The origin of narcissistic tendencies is not fully understood, but prominent theories all point to childhood factors as the root cause. Narcissism tends to be viewed as a fundamental flaw in developing a healthy self-image. Unsympathetic parenting, which can be addressed through parenting lessons, is commonly associated with the development of narcissistic tendencies, as unsympathetic parents tend to provide the child with few opportunities to gain approval or understand the opinions of others.
On the other hand, empathetic parents provide opportunities for the child to receive healthy attention and have his or her own needs met. Compassionate parents also model behaviors that encourage high self-esteem, such as resilience when making mistakes, and help children develop a strong sense of self. They teach children to face their secret feelings head-on and not resort to the shame that narcissists may experience. When necessary, they can also encourage their children to seek treatment for any unrealistic sense of self or other mental health concerns.
Recognizing narcissistic tendencies
Therapists often point to four basic traits of narcissism to help the average person identify narcissistic tendencies.
Chronic entitlement
People with narcissistic tendencies believe they are superior to others, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, creating a strong sense of entitlement. This entitlement encourages the belief that a person should get more money, credit, or respect for doing the same work as others. It also includes a willingness to ask for special treatment or additional resources.
Lack of empathy
A person with narcissistic tendencies is likely to ignore the feelings and needs of others. In general, people with narcissistic tendencies tend to be worse at recognizing and responding appropriately to the emotions of others. They may have difficulty understanding why someone is upset by their actions or why a person reacts negatively to a violation of their boundaries.
greatness
Grandiosity refers to the belief that a person is inherently superior to others. Grandiosity is most evident in the egomaniacal behaviors associated with grandiose narcissism, but grandiosity is present in both subtypes. Those with grandiose narcissistic tendencies tend to display an inflated perception of themselves and expect others to conform to their beliefs. Those with weak narcissistic tendencies still believe they are superior but hide their greatness to avoid criticism.
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A person with narcissistic tendencies regularly needs attention and validation from others. They struggle to feel safe and require constant positive social feedback to maintain their self-image. A person with narcissistic tendencies is likely to avoid or respond negatively to criticism and anything that does not validate their sense of superiority.
When do narcissistic tendencies become narcissism?
Most people exhibit some form of narcissistic tendencies at some point in their lives. Almost everyone experiences moments of arrogance, overconfidence, or insensitivity toward others. Behaviors become concerning when they are frequent or severe enough to affect the life of the person displaying them or the lives of those around them.
What should I do if I think I’m a narcissist?
If you identify traits in yourself that seem to align with narcissistic tendencies, continue with that line of thinking. Those who meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder are rarely able to recognize their narcissistic tendencies without a great deal of effort. Don’t stop confronting your narcissistic tendencies once you start analyzing them.
Consider seeking help from a therapist to help you organize your thoughts and set realistic goals. It is highly suggested that you schedule a session with a psychotherapist if you are concerned that you may be a candidate for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. Many mental health concerns can affect self-esteem, empathy, and healthy relationships with others.
Take the time to write down the narcissistic tendencies that concern you. Do you worry that you lack empathy? Are you constantly looking for attention or validation? Do you feel like you will never get what you deserve? Taking the time to understand the source of your concerns will be beneficial when working with a professional.
What should I do if I think someone else is a narcissist?
It is necessary to evaluate the impact of their narcissistic tendencies. For example, a person who is in a committed relationship with someone who may be a narcissist is likely to experience significant emotional distress in their relationship, which greatly reduces their well-being. Compare this to everyday interactions with a co-worker who displays narcissistic tendencies. While a coworker may be a burden, the impact of his or her behavior likely won’t be severe.
Consider boosting your self-confidence to combat some of the emotionally draining influences of those with narcissistic tendencies. Be sure to evaluate your ability to set boundaries, because people with narcissistic tendencies often fail to recognize them. Additionally, although this is not possible in all circumstances, a strong ability to set boundaries can help you keep people with narcissistic tendencies out of your life if their influence on you is severe enough.
If someone’s narcissistic tendencies are limited in severity, you may be able to develop a positive work or social relationship with them. The key is to recognize how you feel around the person. If someone regularly drains your energy or makes you feel inferior, limiting contact with that person as much as possible is perfectly acceptable.
How can online therapy help?
If you are concerned about your narcissistic tendencies, online therapy can help you regulate your feelings and behaviors and begin a journey toward healthy self-esteem and personal isolation. If someone exhibiting narcissistic tendencies is affecting your health, online therapy can help you set boundaries, boost your self-confidence, or develop resilience using empirically supported techniques. Research has shown that standard techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy are just as effective when delivered online as they are in person.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in a relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788 for 24-hour confidential support. Hours 7 days a week. There are resources available that can help keep you safe and provide emotional support during this difficult time.
