Do you know what the worst thing about being in a relationship with a narcissist is? No, it is not the abuse or humiliation you experience while being with your abuser.

What’s even more painful is how dating a narcissist changes you forever.

You assume you are safe the moment you get the courage to leave the relationship. Well, unfortunately, you’re not, even after you get over your narcissistic ex.

You still have a long way to go. You still have a huge task ahead of you: preventing this experience from turning you into a different person.
What does dating a narcissist look like?

Dating a narcissist is probably one of the worst things you can experience in your life. This means spending time with someone who devalues ​​you all the while seeking admiration.

They should be the dominant personality in every relationship. The only way for these people to feel good about themselves is to belittle others.

I don’t care if your narcissistic partner assures you he loves you, trust me, he doesn’t. They are unable to love you because their only goal is to break you.

How dating a narcissist changes you

Most victims played by narcissists experience similar changes in their personalities. These are the most common ways people broken by narcissists love and behave:

1. Questioning your self-worth

Every narcissist puts a lot of effort into convincing his victim that he is not good enough. It’s just their way of doing things and the only way they can feel good about themselves.

So what happens after some time? Well, as much as you try to resist it at first, you eventually start to believe them.

They get into your mind and make you believe that you are worthless. Unfortunately, this feeling remains long after the narcissist is gone.

Even after ending a relationship, you continue to question your self-worth. If you’re not good enough for them, you probably won’t be good enough for anyone else, right?

Of course, this couldn’t be further from the truth, but that’s how your mind works from now on.

You end up criticizing and devaluing yourself in the same way they did without even realizing it.

Obviously, this relationship is the main reason for your low self-esteem. Your narcissistic partner has achieved their goal: they have destroyed your self-confidence and sense of self-worth.

2. Become an interesting person

Many victims of narcissistic abuse have one thing in common: they become people pleasers. At first, you may have argued with your narcissistic partner. You defended your opinion and gave them valid arguments.

But after a while, I was very tired. Before you know it, you end up nodding at everything they say. You lose your strength, and you give up.

However, the biggest problem is that this becomes your personality trait. You are no longer just trying to please your narcissist, but you are doing your best to please all of your loved ones as well.

Apparently they have managed to convince you that you are never right. Their emotional abuse has negatively affected your mental health to the point where you have completely lost your true self.

Related : 8 subtle but convincing phrases narcissists use to guilt you into staying with them

You think the only way to stop someone from abandoning you is to agree to everything they say. This is the only way you will be accepted and validated.

3. Walking on eggshells

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You: Well, among other things, fear becomes part of your personality.

You never know what might trigger an abuser. Did I say something wrong? Do you chew very loudly? Are you breathing in a way that might bother them?

This person has done his best to turn you into a robot. You’ve been doing everything you can for some time to avoid conflict with them.

So, you start walking on eggshells. You’re afraid to ask too many questions or say what you really think.

You are afraid to open up about your feelings. You do your best not to make waves, becoming extremely wary of disturbing anyone in your vicinity.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s normal for you to leave your loved ones feeling stressed. It’s okay if you step back from time to time instead of causing them additional stress.

But the problem is that this is how you approach all your relationships. It has become your lifestyle.

4. Forgetting to prioritize yourself

Even if you can build a healthy relationship after breaking up with a narcissist, you will find it difficult to put your own needs first.

This is the toxic relationship pattern I’ve learned: Your partner is always the priority.

People with narcissistic personality disorder have a sense of entitlement and an inflated sense of self-importance. They display high levels of greatness and superiority.

They believe that they deserve first place in everyone’s life, so they expect special treatment from everyone around them, especially their victims.

In some way, your partner has convinced you that his or her needs and well-being are more important than yours. No matter what happens, you always come second.

Over time, you accept this type of arrangement, just to keep them around.

However, the problem persists even after you are freed from this abuse. Deep down, you believe that your problems are not relevant enough and that putting yourself first is the most selfish thing you can do.

Well, trust me when I tell you that’s not the case. On the contrary, putting your wellness first is an act of self-love and the way we should all behave.

5. Questioning your sanity

Gaslighting is a manipulation technique that people with narcissistic personality disorder use on their victims. Simply put, it is a form of emotional abuse where your narcissistic partner tries to convince you that your perception of reality is incorrect and that you should doubt yourself.
How it works?

Let me give you an example. You know you two had a big fight last night. Your partner called you names and was abusive.

However, the next morning, they again enter the love bombing phase and deny everything. They claim it’s just a meaningless disagreement and that you’re exaggerating.

Or you find inappropriate text messages on their phone. In a split second, they delete everything and try to convince you that you are imagining things.

After you’ve been gaslighted for a while, you really start to second-guess your perception of reality and question your sanity.

What’s going on? Are you crazy? Are you imagining things?

When you start asking yourself these questions, it means their manipulation is working!

6. Self-sabotage

How dating a narcissist changes you: One of the worst consequences of this type of romantic relationship is self-sabotage. This is especially dangerous because most of the time, you have no idea what you are doing.

If your partner is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, he or she will not be able to see you thriving. Keep in mind that this person is your biggest enemy: they hold you back all the time, just so you don’t succeed.

After some time, you start to believe that you don’t deserve great things. You’re not meant to be popular, you’re not capable enough to get that promotion, and it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.
How it works?

So what happens the moment you start building a new relationship? Well, your inner voice starts telling you that you are doomed from the start.

Instead of fighting for it, you sabotage your relationship. You intentionally make mistakes or run away.

Why? Because you are sure it will collapse. Either way, you suppose it’s best to be the one to destroy it in time.

7. Lower your standards

When you first get into a relationship with a narcissist, they do something called love bombing. They shower you with compliments, grand gestures, gifts, and undivided attention.

But the moment you get used to it, everything disappears. Not only that: it is soon replaced by a stage of devaluation when narcissists humiliate, humiliate and abuse their victims.

At this point, you don’t realize that you are dealing with narcissistic behavior, so you accept this as a normal dating pattern.

How it works?

What happens when you finally break your narcissist’s spell? Your standards remain low.

You are accepting bread crumbs in your new relationship. You think your new partner is perfect just because you see no traces of his cheating or because he doesn’t give you the silent treatment every time you fight.

Related : 6 easy-to-miss signs your partner is harboring resentment (according to psychology)

Basically, I’ve been through worse, and anyone who shows up will be better for it. So instead of searching for your soulmate, you end up settling for someone who gives you the bare minimum.

8. Emotional unavailability

People with BPD show a lack of empathy. They don’t care about breaking their victim’s heart – as long as it makes them feel good.

When you spend years with a narcissist, you forget what it feels like to be heard. You learn to keep your feelings bottled up because no one really cares.

The only way to survive and stay sane is to become emotionally disconnected from the rest of the world. You build high walls around yourself to keep out all their abuse and manipulation.

Unfortunately, many victims of BPD cling to emotional unavailability even after the relationship ends. It becomes your defense mechanism.

You’re not doing it on purpose, but you’re excluding others. You suppress your feelings and hide them not only from yourself but from others as well.

9. Self-blame

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You: Well, as if his abuse wasn’t enough, he also convinces you that it’s your fault that you’re the victim. I know this sounds unbelievable and crazy, but unfortunately, that’s how it works.

Do they underestimate your value? This is because you are not good enough to deserve validation.

Do they abuse you? This is because you provoked them.

Are they unfaithful? This is because you did not give them everything they were looking for.

Although this type of thinking makes no sense, it is the way the narcissist’s mind works. The worst part is that they manage to convince you that this is true.

You end up blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life. Don’t get me wrong – it’s one thing to take responsibility for your actions. This is how puberty works.

However, don’t take the blame if someone treats you badly. You are not responsible for being anyone’s victim!

10. Social isolation

Narcissists work hard to keep you for themselves only. At first, you assume that they want you to spend all your time with them and give them your full attention because they love you so much.

However, the truth is completely different. They deliberately isolate you from your friends and family members to brainwash you more easily.

How does that happen?

If there is no one to warn you about all the red flags, it is easier for the narcissist to manipulate you. Moreover, if they cut you off from all your loved ones, it will be difficult for you to leave. After all, where are you going?

The narcissist tries hard to convince you that no one loves you the way he does. Even the people closest to you wish you harm, and they are all a bad influence on you.

With time, you get used to this social isolation. You forget how to communicate with people and become a loner.

Even after you run away from your romantic relationship, you fear that none of these people will take you back. Essentially, you’ll end up completely alone – just like your abuser wanted.

11. Emotional exhaustion

You feel drained and tired after they suck you dry. You are emotionally exhausted from everything you have been through with your partner with narcissistic personality disorder.

You no longer have the strength for a new relationship. It’s as if you’ve been beaten and destroyed forever.

I have lost the ability to function in a healthy relationship. You’re having trouble reconnecting with your friends and family, let alone getting back into the dating pool.

Well, this is exactly where your narcissist wants you. They expect you to lose the desire to live, and ironically, your relationship with them becomes your comfort zone and safe haven.

At least, you know what to expect there.

I know it’s hard, but you have to find the strength to break free from this cycle of abuse. Remember: Not everyone is like your ex, and you will meet a nice guy or girl.

Give others a chance, and more importantly, give yourself a chance.

12. Emotional dependence

If you understand narcissism, you know that people with narcissistic personality disorder want their victims to be completely dependent on them. I’m talking primarily about emotional dependence here, but unfortunately things don’t end there.

The narcissist makes you believe that you cannot live without him – emotionally, physically, and financially.

First and foremost, your entire mood depends on how they treat you at any given moment.

There is no trace of the independent, self-sufficient person you were before you met them. You need their opinion and advice on everything in your life, and you become unable to make your own decisions.

You are addicted to having them in your life, convinced that you would be lost without them by your side. They give meaning to your life, and everything seems meaningless without them.