Social media is fun, right? I mean, we all have some form of connection to others from our phones or computers.
Keeping in touch with friends, connecting with family abroad, or even checking out forums you may have joined.
Social media exists, and it’s a way to build a version of yourself online to share with the world.
With balance, social media is an excellent tool.
And it’s personal to you.
Except when narcissists come along and try to control you through your own accounts.
Hold on to your hats for this…
Social Media: A Tool for You!
It’s the same for everyone. Social media was designed so that we could all create an online version of ourselves.
What do we want to share?
Who do we want to be friends with?
What do we want our profile pictures to be?
What memories do we want to relive?
Related : What Narcissists Tell Their New Partners About You
It’s a tool for you in the first place, and it’s branched out into so much more.
From job opportunities to hair styling, gardening, home projects, life advice. It’s all there. We browse, we laugh, we love.
What we don’t love is the constant stalking by narcissists, ready to pounce on our profiles and devalue them in the toxic ways they do…
…and they’re good at it.
What’s YourIs Theirs in a way
That’s right. Everything, and I mean everything, you post is theirs to judge.
They don’t mind taking over your feed to promote their opinions not just to you, but to everyone who follows you.
You’re constantly being hounded by the idea that any narcissist with access to your social media can and will do so.
They feel entitled to do so, and you won’t stop them (unless you actually stop them!)
Narcissists are the dark cloud on a sunny day, the hair in your soup, the nail in your tire.
They will ruin everything for you, for as long as you let them.
1 Surveillance
Narcissists love to sit in the quiet of their home and observe you. They can stop you at any time and monitor what you do.
Related : 10 Things Narcissists Do When They Meet Your Family
What’s up with you? Who are you hanging out with? Where are you going?
What’s your latest Netflix show? What’s bothering you? What are your goals?
All that news you innocently give away to your followers and friends is up for grabs. The wrong hands will grab it.
Anything you share is information. Narcissists love information.
This means they’re constantly outsmarting you and staying one step ahead of the game you don’t even realize you’re playing.
These tabs are so close, they’ll stay that way all the time while you search for the block button.
2 Comment on everything
When a narcissist wants to comment on your posts, they’ll choose which posts to comment on.
It won’t necessarily be every post (although it can work that way), but it will be the ones you don’t suspect.
Usually, you’ll find a sly comment or something they feel they can get away with saying in the public domain.
You may also find a comment that no one else can offend you but you. It’s aimed at you and innocent of everyone around you, and it will control you by annoying you in this way.
Remember, the narcissist wants to target you, not publicly abuse you in front of everyone.
3 Reactions You Don’t Want
A friend of a friend once had to deal with the narcissist in his life who would react to everything he posted online with a laughing emoji.
From selfies to shared news to music videos – and so on.
Everything was met with laughter, and it crossed the line of decency a thousand times over.
I don’t want this for you, but it’s a common way for narcissists to control your life on social media.
You quickly start thinking of ways to post something that might elicit sympathy. You want to impress them, but all they do is belittle you by dropping the same damn emoji.
Related : 12 Secret Ways Narcissists Check If You’re Still Under Their Control
No matter what – they find you funny – and not for any actual humorous reasons.
4 Add a friend? Yes!
If they’re your friend, they must be friends with the narcissist.
You’ll notice on their profile that people you know are slowly appearing in their lists. Before you know it, they’ll be telling you how they’ve seen them, talked to them – or even met them!
That’ll be enough to start tying your stomach in knots. Your life is no longer yours, as it’s slowly becoming the narcissist’s life as well.
This lack of separation also proves to be a lack of boundaries (and don’t get me started on that!)
The way they add your friends is slow, but narcissists do it because they want to control you.
By taking what you have that they’re not a part of, they can not only be a part of it, but they can take it over.
5 Judgment
When you post what you want to post, you do it because the world is free, and you want to share your world.
That’s how most people operate on social media, whether we like their content or not.
However, when you post content that interests you only to be torn apart for it, the narcissist is trying to do one of several things.
Try to make you feel guilty for posting what you posted.
Try to embarrass you for being this or that.
Make sure they monitor your posts, so you learn what is and isn’t acceptable to them.
These three points are meant to be a form of control. Please don’t listen to their judgment. Live your life the way you want to live it.
6 Moles
If the narcissist doesn’t have access to your social media, they will ask their moles to do it instead.
This mole may already be on your friends list, and they will be feeding the narcissist your news, updates, and general life ups and downs.
Related : Why Do Narcissists Hate Your Hobbies?
I’ve had to work with people before who say, “Alex, how do they still have this information about me?” and my response is always the same:
Go through your friends list with a fine-toothed comb.
7 Using Your Post Against You
Why did you put that picture of your night out? It shows people that you’re having a lot of fun without me!
Sounds right, narcissist!
They can also see that you’re having a bad day, and they go straight to your DMs.
I see you’re having a hard time. Do you want to talk?
No! Go away! Get out!
Block!
And do me a favor: never unblock me.
