What really happens when a narcissist realizes you understand them? Well, being around them can become much more difficult.
A narcissist is a clingy creature who exploits your weaknesses and empathy. You’ll understand what “clingy” means if you’ve ever dealt with one. If a narcissist realizes you understand them, they can become much worse and harder to get rid of.
However, you need to understand them as soon as possible for your own good, because a narcissist will gradually drain your energy. Narcissists lack inner light, so they need constant emotional support from others.
What happens when you understand them?
While most narcissists aren’t violent, they are capable of inflicting significant psychological and emotional damage if left unchecked. It’s important to remember your self-worth so you don’t become exploited and tempted to think negatively about yourself. Be careful when trying to expose a narcissist, as they may escalate their harmful behavior when exposed.
Here are some examples of what they might do in retaliation.
- Psychological Manipulation
I believe psychological manipulation is one of the most common defense mechanisms narcissists use when exposed. When confronted, they will immediately say things that make you question your own reality. Therefore, it’s crucial to remain calm and confident when this happens.
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While this may not completely stop them, it will ensure you don’t fall victim to their tricks. Just pay attention to how they plan their psychological manipulation, and know that they will attack you at your weakest points.
- Playing the Victim
This is another favorite strategy of narcissists. When a narcissist realizes you’ve seen through their intentions, they will quickly play the victim. They enjoy this in front of others, or they may occasionally contact them to tell them what happened—of course, their version of events, which is a lie.
Any sympathy from others only empowers them to continue their harmful behavior. But be warned, some people will believe them too.
- Projection
When you criticize a narcissist for any reason, they automatically look for ways to project that criticism onto you. For example, if you tell this abusive person they are lazy, they will remind you of everything you haven’t accomplished or done. They will exaggerate this information to make you look worse. At least, that’s their goal.
They are always looking for ways to put themselves above you. They need you to need them, and therefore, they need to appear perfect.
- Trauma Attachment
A narcissist resorts to what’s called “trauma attachment” when they fear you’re getting too close to their ugly reality. They do this in the hope that what you see isn’t as powerful as your shared history. This tactic is, in some ways, more insidious than other forms of manipulation because it undermines love and healthy relationships.
But remember, whatever your memories of this person may be, they are still abusive and exploitative. Most of these memories stem from the initial period of emotional pampering.
- Escalating Insults
The narcissist may have insulted you directly at times, but things will get much worse when they realize you’ve seen through them. They’re afraid you’re stronger now and might leave them or end the relationship. This terrifies them, so they resort to attacking your self-confidence.
But if you have high self-esteem, you can ignore these insults. Just be aware that some insults can become hurtful and make you feel bad. You need to be strong when this happens.
- Blackmail
One of the last resorts a narcissist might use when you see through them is blackmail. If they fear you’ll expose them, they’ll threaten to reveal every secret you’ve shared with them. It’s best to be prepared because they’ll add other negative details to these secrets to make you look worse.
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You need to be ready for this. You also need to realize that you could lose friends because of their malicious behavior. Keep this in mind.
The Narcissist Knows, So What Can You Do?
So, the narcissist knows you’ve figured them out—should you be scared? Well, that’s a natural concern, but don’t let them see your fear. Dealing with a narcissist reminds me of the advice in horror movies about how to handle monsters. They say:
“Don’t let them see your fear.”
That’s true. They feed on your fears and insecurities. You have to stay confident and strong when dealing with this type of person.
You can do that if you remember how strong you are and how insignificant their emptiness is. The narcissist lost their true self long ago and lives like an empty vessel.
Everyone they meet is a potential opportunity to fill that vessel again. It’s not a love story. While they fill their personas with everyone they meet, they drain their energy and leave behind pain. They are truly like energy vampires. So, be careful. I wish you all the best.
And I believe in you too.
