Feeling trapped in a narcissistic relationship means you realize that something is seriously wrong, and that it needs to change.

It’s okay to feel this way, but many see it as worse because they feel like their life is going to be completely ruined in the process of walking away.

And no, it’s not always wise to walk away – after all – you need to take care of yourself and do it safely.

I know it can seem absolutely impossible to leave a narcissist, without even considering your future in all of this.

What’s even more impossible is how you can convince yourself that this is the right thing to do.

Weighing your options feels like deciding to walk away from a bunch of terrible things that don’t come close to the terrible ways you’ve been treated.

The impossibility comes from your lack of self-confidence, and the empty void in your heart where your self-confidence once stood strong.

It won’t stay that way forever, I promise.

What’s Halting You?

Needing help to leave a narcissist is one thing, but assuming your life will be ruined is assuming it’s perfect and manageable right now.

It’s not.

So what are the things that you feel are holding you back when you think about leaving?

Related : Discover the Two Shocking Indicators You’re Being Groomed by a Narcissist

Is it the security of having someone around?

Is it money?

Is it the belief that no one else wants you?

Is it the uncertainty of approaching your loved ones and telling them the relationship isn’t working?

Do you actually feel like a failure in love?

None of these should hold you back, but they do for many.

That’s why they insist on staying in abusive, unhealthy relationships.

Can Things Get Worse?

The most ridiculous part of staying in an abusive relationship is the idea that it will only get worse if you leave.

There’s nothing worse than being stuck with an abusive person. Living with them day in and day out.

Listening to how they drag you down and make you feel worthless. They rob you of your happiness and independence. They threaten you and control you. They make you miserable.

I’ve known people who leave with only one night stand to start over in a new place, all by themselves.

I’m not saying that doesn’t sound scary, and I’m certainly not underestimating how brave that is – but it can be.

Related : The Ultimate Guide to Survive a Narcissist

That first day you leave makes you feel the most vulnerable you’ve ever been, but it only gets better from there.

The days, weeks and months after you break up with a narcissist are likely to give them the space and time to create a false persona of you.

They’ll project it onto everyone they know in the hopes that they can turn the world against you.

In their eyes, you wanted to be alone – and now you will be.

Does this work for everyone?

I’m not going to lie – it works for some people. They’ll make their own decisions, and you’ll be surprised who will side with the narcissist – but that’s not the end of the road for you.

Who is the destroyer

I think this is what most people tend to forget – the destroyer is not you, even if the narcissist’s narrative tells you that.

Victims spend a lot of time in the strong belief that they are somehow to blame; that they caused the narcissist’s behavior.

If you are a victim, or have been a victim before – you are not.

Destruction only comes from the person who has all the power to be that way, and narcissists thrive on having that power.

They see it as an automatic entitlement, a way to get what they want, when they want it.

Leaving a narcissist means that you can reclaim your life and regain your power again, and if they tell you otherwise, it’s just to make you not want to leave them.

Your Power

Your power has always been in your ability to make the right decisions for you. That’s where all of our power lies, but narcissists can convince you that you have no power at all.

Related : You Must Never Reveal This One Thing to the Narcissist

When you decide to leave a narcissist, your mind will come up with reasons why it’s not possible without severely destroying your life.

These thoughts stem from the way the narcissist has programmed you over the years to believe that you won’t cope without them.

In fact, you can. You’ve become vulnerable because of your abuse, but you still have the option to walk away.

This option never goes anywhere, but the narcissist hides it very well.

Your power lies in finding it!

Make It Safe

I’m a firm believer in not offering advice that might put you in danger or another conflict that might make things worse for you. However, it should be the right thing to do to walk away.

If you’re thinking about leaving your narcissist partner, I would urge you to think about your own situation rather than doing it directly.

This might look like this:

Ensuring you have a safe place to go.

Confiding in someone you know who will help you rather than telling everyone about your plans.

Make sure you have any identification or official documents such as passports packed and ready to take with you.

Don’t threaten to leave, or say when you’re going. If you need to leave quietly, do it quietly.

If you can, put a little money aside to help you get where you want to go.

I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes it’s better to stay with a narcissist so you can plan your next move.

If you’ve been seriously abused in any way—that’s a whole other story—you know what to do.

You are your hands, and the only way to heal from a narcissist is to let go.

Related : You Must Never Say These 10 Things to a Narcissist

If you feel like doing so will ruin your life, you’re not looking at the bigger picture. I think sometimes there’s a good excuse for staying with a narcissist because you want to show them that you’re doing the right thing.

Knowing, realizing, and acknowledging that they don’t care about you will help you start doing the right thing for yourself.