Self-care is often the source of disdain for Christian bloggers. Sometimes they have the view that a lot of self-care advice is shallow and merely a diversion from the actual underlying issues that are causing us to suffer. I have nothing against pedicures, chocolate, soft music or hot baths. But I truly believe that self-care, in its truest sense, is absolutely divine, more of a command than a suggestion.

Man is the crown of creation’s glory, and his primary orders are to manage the earth and make more men. I hate those memes that suggest humans are an invader or a virus that nature is suffering from. But in fact, our lack of land stewardship makes us vulnerable to these accusations. But since God commands us to care for creation, doesn’t this mean that we must care for ourselves as part of that creation?

So where does the Bible tell us to care for ourselves? Many seem to think that the Bible only tells us how to love others. Sometimes, we Christians fall prey to black and white thinking. I remember when the church argued strongly against self-esteem and counseling. Self-esteem was from the devil because loving ourselves was a sin. I heard many sermons on this subject.

Psychology is a pseudoscience. I listened to that sermon more than once as well.

The problem is that black and white thinking leads to polarization. Self-esteem, or the belief that one is lovable, is essential to forming healthy relationships. Fortunately, most people seem to understand that nowadays. Psychology, like all sciences, is not foolproof. But counseling helps many people overcome mental illness. The Christian psychologists and therapists I know understand that Jesus wants to heal everyone, and sometimes science provides a blueprint for how to get there.

Some keys to self-care as mentioned in the Bible:

1: Devout Self-Care – Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.

God has specifically commanded a day of rest for all mankind. Most self-care instructions, whether to get a pedicure or take a small breather, unconsciously echo this basic human need. Just as other commandments are difficult to keep, these commandments have their challenges. Taking a full day off from labor is almost non-existent these days. Many of us work Monday through Friday and then take care of the house, shopping, and kids on the weekend.

Related : Five Ways Narcissists Use Cognitive Dissonance

This suggestion of taking one day off a week was radical at the time and still is today. But self-care, at its core, means finding ways to step away from the stress of the work week. It’s not indulging in getting a good night’s sleep or taking a break from work. God created us with a certain need for rest. Rest is also an act of faith. It says that we trust God with the details of our lives long enough to take a nap, read a book, or just sit on the porch and stare for a while.

2: Divine self-care – because if you forgive others for their transgressions, it will be yours
Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Unfortunately, the majority do not understand this verse due to its profound truth. Instead, it becomes a threatening form. Forgiveness is one of the most important components of mental and physical health. Trauma happens to everyone, but studies prove time and time again that forgiving those who hurt you frees you mentally and physically from the terrible consequences of that trauma.

Processing grief and loss always involves forgiveness. Grieving becomes complicated because our relationships are neither entirely good nor entirely bad but contain both healthy and unhealthy aspects. The issues that well-meaning but misguided self-care gurus sometimes ignore are the ones that need to be addressed over time. We don’t need to run away from negative emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, and pain. Instead, truly caring for ourselves means asking for help if we need it and having the courage to look at our own suffering. Forgiving ourselves, others, or even God (if we hold something against Him) is always part of the journey to wellness.

3: Divine self-care: casting our worries on Him…

Recently the Lord gave me a picture of what this looks like. There was a revelation from one of my children that I was struggling with. I felt sad and afraid. I remembered that his yoke was supposed to be easy, so I invited him to reveal to me what that meant. It showed me the burden I felt for this child. It is a huge and legitimate burden. But as I walked with him, three-quarters of that burden fell on his shoulders. Only a quarter of it was on my account.

He showed me that He carries my sin, my sin, my child, our destinies, and our salvation. The only burden I had to bear was the burden of my feelings. When we carry our cross, it is not the weight of the world’s sin. This is the one he should carry. I don’t even have to bear the weight of my sin if I confess it and receive His forgiveness. What I carry are my emotional responses and choices. It will work through me at any time of the day.

4: Worship in spirit and truth.

Truth is not a concept. Reality is a person in the image of Jesus Christ. It is reality. When we are willing to move from denial to reality, we get closer to it. Recognition is one of these ways. Perhaps facing abuse in marriage, debt due to financial mistakes, unhealthy eating habits, or a preoccupation with celebrities. All of us have our flaws. But worshiping in spirit and truth means we can freely come to the throne with our mistakes and begin to heal.

Self-care, for me, means having the courage to admit scary things. It started with facing the fact that I was married to an incurable narcissist. Then, it prompted me to admit my fear of leaving and staying. But the truth sets us free. Jesus sets us free. And he did, bringing pastors, friends, and my parents to my side to help free me and my daughters from our own terror. Telling the truth is a form of worship. Honesty begins with ourselves and extends throughout our lives, sometimes bringing us pain, but in the end it is incredible freedom.

A quote I love about self-care says that we need to create a life that we don’t want to escape from. Rest, forgiveness, freedom from fear, and living in truth are the touchstones of a life well lived. Sometimes self-care advice is superficial because it wants us to escape our problems only temporarily. In the Kingdom, we do not have to run away, because the Lover of our souls has conquered those problems. He calls us to unimaginable victories only through his love. You see, He cares deeply about ourselves, and accepting that love means seeing ourselves through His loving eyes. Self-care in this context is one of the main keys to a godly life.