coercion. confusion. perceived insanity. When the person closest to you does everything they can to make you believe your basic instincts, feelings, and reason are wrong, how can you continue to trust anything at all?

Manipulation in relationships can be one of the most difficult experiences a person can face.

In this article, we discuss gaslighting – what it is, why it happens, why people become gas giants, and strategies for escaping from these manipulative relationships.

Understanding Gaslighting

What is Gaslighting?

The term gaslighting comes from a 1938 play known as Gas Light, in which a husband slowly convinces his wife that she is insane by dimming gas lights and denying that he has dimmed them.

While gaslighting can be observed in all types of relationships—the business relationship between an employer and employee, the parental relationship between a parent and child, or even the societal relationship between a politician and his constituents—gaslighting is perhaps most dangerous when it is observed in an emotional relationship.

For gaslighting to happen, there needs to be a strict power dynamic in the relationship: one person has more power and another person has less power.

This is why gaslighting is commonly seen in employer-employee-parent-child relationships, as the power dynamic is inherent in the association.

But for a romantic partnership, gaslighting can be difficult to notice and acknowledge, as there is an assumed equal power dynamic between two partners.

But an imbalance of power is a gaslighting necessity, which is partly why it occurs in romantic partnerships: One partner assumes power over the other, without taking it outright.

But what exactly is gas? Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that strips the victim of a sense of sanity and stability through slow, calculated manipulation. Gas lighting has three main characteristics and purposes:

1) Undermining the weaker partner: The partner victim is being undermined in various ways – their feelings, beliefs, and even facts they perceive to be “wrong,” causing them to question their own sanity.

2) Strategic Intent: There is strategic intent in how the Gaslighter works, backing off and apologizing enough to confuse its victim. They know when to stop and when to continue for maximum effect

3) Manipulating reality through denial and confusion: There is an emphasis on manipulation in warrior tactics, but the purpose is simply to confuse, making it difficult for the victim to identify because there is no clear direction

Learn about gas lighting

Gaseous lighting can be difficult to recognize. The victim’s best chance of identifying the gaseous light is in its early stages, as this is before the reality distortion and psychological and emotional abuse begin.

But seeing the early stages in action can be near impossible.

You may be reluctant to admit that your partner’s negative behavior is a sign of something as serious as gaslighting, or you may think it’s a normal part of any relationship.

Here are some signs that you may be suffering from gaslighting:

• You often wonder if you are a worthy partner

You no longer trust yourself to make even the most basic decisions

You often lie to your partner with little white lies because you are afraid of underestimating the truth

You have a confusing feeling that something is wrong in the relationship but you just can’t figure it out

Lying to your friends and family about your partner’s behavior

You don’t remember the last time you were really happy

You find yourself constantly apologizing for things you don’t understand

You feel lost, mad, confused, and emotionally undeveloped, especially during an argument

• You are constantly asking yourself: “Am I too much of a baby? Am I too sensitive?”

All of these feelings revolve around one theme: questioning your own foundational reality; Your mind, your instincts and your feelings.

When you no longer feel like you can trust your own mind, you have completely lost yourself to your partner.

Defining Gaslighting in a Relationship: Gaslighting or…
It is important to understand that not all negative behavior in a relationship should be attributed to gaslighting.

The more you understand the differences between gaslighting and other negative behaviors that may occur in romantic relationships, the more accurately and quickly you will address whether or not your partner is gaslighting you.

• Gouging: While gouging plays a major role in gas lighting, gouging itself should not be confused with gas lighting. Manipulation can simply be thought of as an influence – influencing a person to do or believe something. There must be an intention to seize power through influence; When this happens, the manipulation progresses to gaslighting.
• Narcissism: Narcissism is more of a personality disorder while gaslighting is the active behavior. A narcissist may come off as an idiot who pushes people back, but will pull them back when they feel the need to fill the narcissistic void. The invader does this simply because he feels this is the right way to act in the relationship.

Obsessive attachment: Many victims like to think that their gaslighting partner is “too attached” to them, which is why their behavior can be a little extreme. To tell the difference, you want to notice the way they treated you on the first date. Have you bombarded love in which they speak unfavorably about others in their life, but they bombard you with love? This is the first step in any lit relationship.

General Bad Behavior: People in bad relationships may start to see gaslighting in everything their partner does, but how do you know the difference between general bad behavior and the real gaslighting situation? Simple: try to see if there is a pattern of negative behavior. Is it the same pattern over and over, or is there something a little more chaotic? Gas players operate in patterns, whether they realize it or not.

what should be done? Know your self worth

I get it.

This advice seems obvious and banal.

But to protect yourself from getting sucked into a relationship, you need to work on the most important relationship you will ever have in your life–the one you have with yourself.

For many people, being on the other end of gaslighting is a negative reflection of their self-worth.

And in this day and age, it’s harder than ever to love yourself.

From a very young age, we are conditioned to believe that happiness comes from the outside.

It is only when we discover the “perfect person” to be in a relationship with that we can find self-worth, security, and happiness.

I think this is a life destroying myth.

A relationship that not only causes many unhappy relationships but also poisons you to live a life devoid of optimism and personal independence.

I learned this by watching an excellent free video by world-famous shaman Rudá Iandê.

Rhoda taught me some very important lessons about self-love after I recently went through a breakup.

Now, I am not the average person who seeks the advice of a shaman. But Rudá Iandê is not your typical shaman.

Ruda made shamanism relevant to modern day society by interpreting and communicating it to people like you and me.

People who lead regular lives.

If what I said above resonates with you, please go and check out his excellent video here.

It’s a great resource to help you recover from a toxic relationship.

Why do partners become gas giants?

Gaslighting can be a painful reality to accept. When you first begin to grasp that we may be trapped in a relationship with a gaslighting partner, our first instinct as a gaslighting partner is to deny and ignore these signs.

We don’t want to believe that the person we fell in love with is emotionally and psychologically abusing us. This is understandable.

But the most important truth any victim trapped in a gaslighted relationship should understand is this: It’s not your fault, and it’s not necessarily your partner’s fault either.

While movies and TV shows may make emotional abusers seem like every action is calculated and planned, the truth is that this is rarely the case. In most cases, people simply fall into the role of gas.