Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex condition that can be difficult to diagnose. People with narcissistic traits need attention and want admiration, but deep down, they may not have much confidence and may react aggressively when criticized. Narcissistic personality disorder can cause problems in many areas of life, and maintaining a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies can be difficult. Identifying and understanding the five traits of NPD may help you manage your relationship with a friend or family member with NPD.
You may think that detecting narcissistic tendencies is relatively easy, but it can be difficult. What seems real on the surface is not always so. Not all people with narcissistic personality disorder believe, act, or move in the world the same way. People with BPD can be exploitative and take advantage of others to meet their own needs and may try to manipulate people to get what they want.
The bottom line is that recognizing narcissistic traits is not always as easy as it may seem, but people with narcissistic personality disorder often share some common traits.
Leading traits of narcissistic personality disorder
Only clinical testing can conclusively determine whether or not someone has narcissistic personality disorder, and has strict diagnostic criteria set forth in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, if someone you know displays three or more of the following traits, it may be helpful to be cautious and maintain healthy boundaries.
- Resentment at criticism
No one gets it right all the time. Criticism is a part of life, and accepting constructive criticism can lead to growth. People with narcissistic personality disorder do not view criticism this way. Instead, they tend to take criticism personally and may respond in a way that seems disproportionate to the situation. Instead of viewing constructive feedback as a way to improve and improve themselves, people with BPD may resent criticism and misinterpret it as a personal attack.
While resentment toward criticism is a classic trait of someone with BPD, not everyone who responds poorly to criticism has BPD. Some forms of criticism are worth responding to, and there are times when someone is having a bad day or going through a difficult time and reacts strongly. If you notice that someone is consistently opposed to any form of criticism, it may be helpful to pay attention to this pattern.
- Manipulative towards others
Another important feature of narcissistic personality disorder is manipulation of others. People with narcissistic tendencies can view other humans as means to an end or as tools to get what they want, which explains why people with narcissistic personality disorder have no problem lying or exploiting others.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are known to manipulate their friends, relatives, significant others, and anyone who crosses their path. They may not see anything wrong with this behavior if it gets in their way. They lack empathy and may not consider how their manipulation affects others.
- Unacceptable towards others
We all have times when we don’t agree or agree with others. No one can please everyone, nor should they try. However, people with narcissistic personality disorder are known for not getting along with others. They tend to have volatile relationships with mental health providers and tend to terminate treatment relationships prematurely.
Some people with narcissistic personality disorder may be able to get their way toward certain people, although, in most cases, they may have difficulty getting along with others. This may be especially true with prolonged exposure and long-term interactions. The passage of time can complicate their ability to maintain the facade and reveal this tendency toward relational discord.
- Selfishness to the utmost degree
One of the defining characteristics of a person with BPD is selfishness, because individuals with NPD tend to achieve their goals, present a certain image, or get what they want, regardless of who is bullied in the process. This explains why people with narcissistic tendencies often struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
It is important to remember that the extremes of selfishness differ from people who put themselves first from time to time. A moderate degree of selfishness can be healthy, but when someone is habitually selfish at the expense of others’ health and well-being, this may be a narcissistic trait.
- Shockingly delusional
Consistent with the symptoms of BPD, people with this disorder may be known to view themselves as special and deserving of favorable treatment. Furthermore, when things don’t go the way a person with BPD wants, he or she may lash out.
Some typical behaviors of a person with BPD may include trying to rewrite history in their favor and exaggerating certain situations. Because of the way they view themselves, people with BPD may not understand the need to act rationally or in line with reality. This is another reason why being in the company of someone with narcissistic tendencies can be stressful and dangerous.
What to do if you know someone with borderline personality disorder
Although not all people with narcissistic personality disorder are abusive, their lack of empathy, aggressive and manipulative behaviors, and use of gaslighting may create a toxic and abusive atmosphere. Narcissistic abuse can cause emotional and psychological damage, especially if you experience it repeatedly or long-term. Here are some actions you can take to protect yourself if you are in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder.
Cut ties (if possible)
If you are in a situation where you spend a lot of time with someone with BPD, it may be helpful to cut ties with them. If you have known this person for a while or if they are a family member, cutting ties may not be easy, but it can do a lot of good in the long run.
If you can’t completely cut ties with a person with BPD in your life, you can try to limit contact with them as much as possible. Reducing your exposure to this person reduces your potential for emotional abuse and manipulation.
Don’t invest too much
Most people with borderline personality disorder are successful at manipulating the emotions of others for their own gain. It may be wise to set boundaries to protect yourself. A person with BPD who tries to annoy others may turn his attention elsewhere if he does not get the result he wants.
Not investing is often easier said than done; Sometimes the temptation to try to reason with someone with narcissistic traits can be great, but it’s important to remember that the inherent nature of someone with BPD prevents them from truly empathizing with others if they don’t see something in it themselves.
Don’t blame yourself
If there’s one thing many people with BPD are good at, it’s deflecting and passing blame. Many people with narcissistic personality disorder do this to escape accountability for their actions. After all, most narcissists view themselves as above the social rules and norms that most people follow. For these reasons, it may be helpful to remember not to blame yourself for someone else’s poor choices.
