Everyone works hard to make good first impressions that can often be misleading as to what kind of person they really are.
These false first impressions can lead to us feeling let down or deceived by people we thought were friends or those we felt were important.
We are always around people, and it is human nature to get to know different people in different social situations. We make an effort to get to know people, so when they’re not what we thought they were, it can be disappointing. It’s easy to be drawn to charm and confidence, but when we really get to know someone, they can be very different from what we first thought.
But there is a solution. Instead of being fooled by false first impressions and overplaying with positive traits, here are seven ways you can quickly assess someone’s personality without even noticing. If you’re looking to meet new people, or even hire a new employee, these simple aspects can help you discover their true personality despite their first impression.
- How does it make you feel?
Does it make you feel warm and happy or shy and embarrassed? It is completely normal to enjoy recognition and praise, they give us a warm sense of companionship and this is important in order to develop a true friendship. However, we only feel this way if we feel these words are true.
If you feel as if they are speaking with an ulterior motive, treat them with caution, as you may end up feeling embarrassed and using them later. If this is how you feel, it might be best to stay away from this person, as they could end up in a big problem later.
- How much time can you spend with them?
When we really connect with someone, we enjoy spending time with them, and it’s easy to spend a lot of time with someone without them even noticing. If you feel as if time flies when you’re with a certain person, you’re one of the lucky ones, because connections like this are few and far between.
If you feel that spending time with them is a task, or you can only deal with them in small doses, then perhaps you should re-evaluate the situation and how real your friendship is.
- How much do they listen, how much do they speak?
In conversation, we want to feel as though our point of view is being heard and our opinions are taken into account. If you feel like the other person is really listening, then they are genuine and caring. It is important to listen to people as well as the voices of your own thoughts.
If you feel as though they might enjoy their voice, that’s another story. Talking too much means that they are not willing to listen to others and think their opinions are more important. This is probably not someone you would want to have a meaningful connection with, and certainly, someone who can work well in a team situation within a job.
- Is their good skin deep?
Kind actions make everyone feel good, but they can also be a tool used to make someone look good. Really nice people will brighten your day and make you smile just because they want to see you smile. But others can use apparent kindness to make good first impressions or aim higher, and that’s not the person you want to be around.
If you feel that an act of kindness is being done to impress you or convince you of something, perhaps you should be more wary of future acts of kindness and what these very nice people might be trying to achieve.
- Actions or reactions?
You can say the same thing to five people and get five different reactions and results. In a business situation, you might give feedback and expect action on it, and if you get that, you’ve found a typical employee. If you simply get a reaction, whether it’s from trying to explain something wrong or getting angry, this will wear off pretty quickly and he’s not an ideal person for work situations.
In social situations, you may want support or help, but if you only get feedback, that’s not the kind of friend that will really help you. As they say, actions speak louder than words.
- Body language
Body language is instinctive, and it happens before we can control it.
Closed body language is a sign that someone is feeling defensive or closed off about something, and if that is the case, they may be wondering what they might be hiding.
Open body language and smiling faces make it very easy to make contact and develop a relationship, as both parties are more comfortable and open with each other.
- Gut reactions
Ultimately, the best way to judge someone is by how you respond instinctively to their behaviors. If you suspect something, there’s probably a good reason for feeling that way.
