Phone calls and narcissists are close friends. The narcissist’s active fingers love to tease you and tell you what they want to say—and you simply tolerate it…

…like you tolerate anything else.

When you receive a call from a narcissist, it won’t start or even end normally. There’s a lot I can tell you that will help, so without further ado, let’s explore this power play in more detail.

“You’ll Be Controlled!”

No one enters a relationship willingly surrendering control to their partner. We enter it assuming that respect, compromise, and honesty will be essential aspects.

What comes to mind when you think of control?

If you hate making decisions, your partner can encourage you to think and act based on what you want or need, without taking control of the situation entirely.

Narcissists don’t operate that way. If they see you hesitant, they’ll take full advantage of it and use you as their puppet.

Related : See How Modern Society Is Turning More People Into Narcissists

Do as I say!

I’m the one making the decisions here!

You don’t know what you want, so let me tell you!

It’s all a ploy to control someone, and that’s what narcissists are good at.

Be At Their Hands…

Phones are a great way to connect people, not just locally, but worldwide. If you have someone’s phone number 8,000 miles away, you can call and talk to them.

I love that about phones. We live in a more “connected” world than ever before.

But there’s a downside too—and that downside is being at the beck and call of the narcissist in your life.

Getting a call at 11 a.m. or 11 p.m. can be hell, when all you want is some time to yourself, or to isolate yourself.

In fact, I can recall at least a dozen people in my professional life who had narcissistic parents who called and made unrealistic demands at all hours of the day and night.

How Their Power Affects Your Life Over Time

You’re never given a real opportunity to empower your life when you’re under the influence of a narcissist. Under normal circumstances, couples encourage each other to succeed and be the best versions of themselves.

There’s compromise and understanding—and a level of communication that allows for honesty and openness.

Narcissists prefer to use their power to block all of that, robbing you of any inclination to thrive.

Only you survive.

Related : You’re Shocked to See Where Narcissists Really End Up

Over a lifetime—if you’re unlucky enough to live with a narcissist that long—their power is your life. You don’t get to own or shape what you dream of.

I want you to understand the role phone calls play in all of this—because they’re often forgotten or misinterpreted.

Phone Calls, Narcissists, and the Power Play

1 Hanging Up on You

One moment you’re speaking sweetly, and the next, they hang up on you mid-conversation.

You’re confused, and you have every right to be. Why would they hang up on you? What did you say or do that was so wrong?

Actually, it was nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong, and many victims of narcissism forget to consciously check this.

Honestly, you’re being yourself, and that’s all people can ask for. Narcissists, however, are also being themselves, and that’s far too much to handle.

Sometimes, someone hangs up during a phone argument, and that’s just as upsetting for the person left in the lurch. That’s how you feel, isn’t it?

You’re eager to get your point across, but you’re met with someone who doesn’t want to listen to you or process it with maturity and emotional control.

It’s a stretch for them to have the last word and hang up—their goal is to leave you wanting to chase after others while they sit around complaining about your 12 missed calls and texts.

2 Talking Over You

Raise your hand, who among us hasn’t been spoken to by a narcissist?

(Raised my hand, sure!)

Related : 11 Signs You Have Beaten The Narcissist

Narcissists love to talk over others. Why? For a simple reason: They feel like what they have to say is more important than anyone else’s. What they say needs to be heard; they need to exert their authority. They want to sound the loudest and most heard voice.

And if you try to talk over them—well, be prepared for the narcissist’s wrath that follows!

3 Putting You in a Tough Spot

I’m calling to ask if you can meet me for lunch today. I have an important conversation to have with you.

This potential indulgent person has invited us to dinner tonight, and I want to make a good impression.

Anything you can think of that might trigger your anger can be done over the phone.

You could even be in line at the grocery store—and the narcissist will call and demand it of you.

For you? It’s not fun at all.

If you don’t respond, you’ll pay a heavy price.

If you respond, you know something’s going to happen.

They’ll use your suspicions and your apprehension to please them, against you at every opportunity.

4 Set You Up for Later

Couples work, right? You can go a whole day without seeing them and still have a great day. So what happens when you don’t know the narcissist’s mood?

They may call and tell you.

Or maybe you call to check on them, and they deliberately ignore you.

You wonder what happened, and why they’re acting this way.

Related : The Narcissist Eternally Suffers From These 6 Things

Now, all day long, you’ve let this anxious anticipation build up inside you, and that’s incredibly devastating.

5 They’ll Punish You If You Don’t Respond

Be present and respond to their calls, or they’ll immediately start plotting revenge (which may mean returning to the blocking or silence tactic we mentioned earlier).

Narcissists are the most power-hungry people you’ll ever meet. They want you to respond as soon as they try to talk to you. If you don’t, they’ll see that as a direct rejection—their worst nightmare.

Their power play, on the other hand, is to leave everything to chance before they have a chance to hang up.

That’s not a way to live.