Phone calls and narcissists are best friends. The narcissist’s active fingers love to tease you and tell you what they want to say – and you simply tolerate it…

…like you tolerate anything else.

When you get a call from a narcissist, it won’t start or even end normally. There’s a lot I can tell you that will help, so without further ado, let’s explore this power play in more detail.

“You’ll be controlled!”

No one enters a relationship willingly handing over control to the other person. We enter it assuming that respect, compromise, and honesty will be key aspects of it.

What comes to mind when you think of control?

If you hate making decisions, your partner can encourage you to think and act on what you want or need, without taking control of the situation entirely.

Narcissists don’t behave that way. If they see you hesitating, they’ll take full advantage and use you as their puppet.

Do as I say!

I’m the one making the decisions here!

You don’t know what you want, so let me tell you!

Related : See How Modern Society Is Turning More People Into Narcissists

It’s all a ploy to control someone, and that’s what narcissists are good at.

Be At Them Hands…

Phones are a great way to connect people, not just locally, but all over the world. If you have someone’s phone number 8,000 miles away, you can call them and talk to them.

I love that about phones. We live in a world that’s more “connected” than ever before.

But there’s a downside to them, too—and that downside is that you’re at the beck and call of the narcissist in your life.

Getting a call at 11 a.m. or 11 p.m. can be hell, when all you want is some time to yourself, or to isolate yourself.

In fact, I can think of at least a dozen people in my career who had narcissistic parents who would call and make unrealistic demands on you at all hours of the day and night.

How Their Power Controls Your Life Over Time

You are never given a real chance to empower your life when you are under the influence of a narcissist. Under normal circumstances, couples encourage each other to succeed and be the best version of themselves.

There is compromise and understanding—and a level of communication that allows for honesty and openness.

Related : You’re Shocked to See Where Narcissists Really End Up

Narcissists prefer to use their power to block all of that, and take away any inclination you have for success.

Only you survive.

Over the course of your life—if you’re not lucky enough to live with a narcissist for that long—their power is your life. It’s not yours to own or shape as you wish.

I want you to understand the role phone calls play in all of this—because they’re often forgotten or misinterpreted.

Phone Calls, Narcissists, and the Power Play

1 Hanging Up on You

One moment you’re being polite, and the next, they decide to hang up on you in the middle of a conversation.

You’re confused, and rightfully so. Why would they hang up on you? What did you say or do that was so wrong?

Actually, it was nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong, and many victims of narcissism forget to consciously check that.

Honestly, you’re being yourself, and that’s all people can ask for. But narcissists are being themselves, and that takes a lot of handling.

Sometimes the phone hangs up during a disagreement, and it’s frustrating for the person left alone. That’s how you feel, isn’t it?

You’re eager to get your point across, but you’re met with someone who doesn’t want to listen to you or address the situation with maturity and emotional control.

It feels like a complete power play when they have the final say and hang up—their goal is to leave you wanting to chase after others while they sit around complaining about your 12 missed calls and texts.

2 Talking Over You

Raise your hand, who hasn’t been spoken to by a narcissist?

(I did, sure!)

Narcissists love to talk over others. Why? For a simple reason: they feel that what they have to say is more important than anyone else’s. What they say should be heard, and they should exercise their power. They want their voice to sound the strongest and most heard.

Related : Why Your Ex Is Likely Not the Narcissist You Think They Are

And if you try to interrupt them—well, be sure to prepare for the narcissist’s wrath that follows!

3 Putting You in a Position

I’m calling to ask if you can meet me for lunch today. I have an important conversation to have with you.

This potential indulgent person has invited us to dinner tonight, and I want to make a good impression.

Anything you can think of that might put you in a position of embarrassment, you can do over the phone.

You could even be in line at the grocery store—and the narcissist will call and demand it of you.

For you? It’s not fun at all.

If you don’t answer, you’ll pay a heavy price.

If you do, you know something is going to happen.

They’ll use your skepticism and caution to please them, against you at every opportunity.

4 Setting You Up for Later

Couples work, right? You can go all day without seeing them and still have a great day. So what happens when you don’t know what a narcissist’s mood is?

Related : Why Woke Narcissists Are More Dangerous Than You Think

They can call you and tell you.

Or maybe you call to check on them, and they deliberately ignore you.

You wonder what happened, and why they’re acting this way.

Now, all day long, you’ve let this anxious anticipation build up inside you, and it’s so devastating.

5 They’ll punish you if you don’t answer the phone

Be present and answer their call, otherwise they’ll immediately start plotting revenge (which may mean returning to the blocking or silent treatment we discussed earlier).

Related : How I Escaped a Narcissist and Reclaimed My Life

Narcissists are the most entitled people you’ll ever meet. In their eyes, they need you to respond as soon as they try to talk to you. If you don’t, they’ll immediately view you as a rejection—their worst nightmare.

Their power play, on the other hand, is to leave everything to chance before they even have a chance to hang up.

That’s no way to live.