Falling in love is the most special feeling in the world. Those butterflies in our stomach make us feel like we can do anything.
However, there should be limits to everything, even for someone you love. Loving someone blindly and without any conditions can make you lose yourself.
People find it difficult to understand that setting boundaries is important for their well-being and mental health, as well as for their relationships; That’s why a lot of people end up in entangled relationships more often than not.
What does the term entanglement mean? What does it mean to be in an intertwined relationship?
Definition of intertwined relationship
Family psychotherapist, Salvador Minuchin, introduced the concept of entanglement in psychology and psychotherapy to describe family entanglement.
Using this term, he wanted to describe family relationships when two or more family members have a symbiotic emotional relationship.
This means that they absorb emotions from each other and start feeling the same emotions as other family members.
To be clear, entanglement doesn’t just happen in family relationships. It can also occur in an intimate relationship.
An enmeshed relationship is any relationship in which partners have unclear personal boundaries and, over time, become emotionally dependent on each other.
They begin to have feelings for each other. They basically became like identical twins. If one is happy, the other is too. If one of them is angry or depressed, the other becomes angry or depressed.
It’s as if they feel each other. They don’t know how to function without that other person. They become one.
If someone goes on a business trip or if they have to separate due to some other commitment, they feel a strong sense of separation anxiety.
They basically can’t live without each other. This feeling of loneliness makes them crazy because they are used to that other person.
It’s no secret that previous generations were loose in setting personal boundaries in a relationship, and like many other things, this pattern was inherited by the next generation.
These people are never aware that their relationship is enmeshed and that’s why they act like they don’t need help.
Unfortunately, they do as quickly as possible. The sooner they realize this and seek help from a therapist, the faster they will be able to overcome it.
This not only affects their relationship, but also affects their mental health and leaves them with self-esteem issues.
If you want to know the most common signs of an entangled relationship, keep reading below.
Signs of involvement in an intimate relationship
This kind of relationship has no future. Both partners will become depressed and will only suffer, no matter how much they love each other.
Here are some signs of getting involved in an intimate relationship.
- Feel their feelings as if they were your own
You are no longer in control of your emotions. You become emotionally dependent on your partner. You become overwhelmed with emotions. You become very emotional.
Feel what they feel. If they are angry or depressed for some reason, so are you, even though you have no reason to feel that way.
You think that sharing their feelings would somehow help them deal with those strong feelings but that is wrong. Only they can help themselves by calming down.
The only thing you can do for your partner in this type of situation is to be there for him if he wants to talk.
If you both feel these intense emotions, it will only lead to conflict. These strong feelings will prevent you from thinking clearly and you may say or do something that you later regret.
- You don’t have any personal space
Let’s be honest; we all need some time alone and personal space from time to time. We have different interests and we want to devote ourselves to them.
You should be alone with your thoughts from time to time, to think about your life, to think about whether you are happy with where you are in life or if you need to change some things.
In an intimate relationship, the fear of abandonment is constant and that is why both partners fear spending time alone.
They are actually afraid of being alone because they think it will reflect poorly on their relationship.
- You avoid conflict with your partner
Every time you start a fight or get into a conflict with your partner, you both instantly calm down and get things right again.
This is also because you both fear that fighting will end your relationship.
You don’t think you can live without your partner, and you will avoid fighting even about some of the bigger issues, just to save your relationship.
Conflicts are actually good for every healthy relationship. We are all different and it is normal for us to all have different views and opinions.
You should not be afraid to say your opinion or how you feel about some things and of course your partner may not like it or have different opinions about the same.
- You have a fear of abandonment
They are the center of your life. Hell, they’re like your whole life. You are willing to do whatever they ask of you or anything you feel is necessary to keep them in your life.
You really consider your partner your other half and don’t think you could survive if he left you.
Wrong again. You are a complete person on your own, and you do not need anyone to complete you.
Yes, sometimes, fate will not be on your side and some people will abandon you, but so what? Keep that smile on your pretty face and wave them goodbye.
- You have lost your identity in this relationship
Before this relationship, you had your own interests, and you had some hobbies. You had friends and you spent time with them whenever you could.
You had dreams, goals, and some plans for the future… and you knew your worth and you knew what you wanted out of life.
now? All that has changed. You gave so much of yourself into that relationship, and it cost you losing yourself, losing your identity. Now, all you care about is your partner and your relationship.
- You have become too dependent on your partner
You talk to your partner about everything and consult him before you do anything. You ask what they think about your appearance, your clothes, and even some stupid little things.
The moment you start asking your partner for permission to go out with friends or visit your family, you will know that your relationship has become toxic and unhealthy.
- You have a lack of control over your own life
You can no longer control your emotions, which is why you have stopped controlling your life.
You allow your partner to control it. They are like the dominant personality in your relationship and they make all the decisions.
