Do you feel stuck in a love labyrinth with no escape? Learn how to break up with a narcissist to loose from the chains of toxicity with the strategies below!
In my psychiatric practice, I have seen how difficult it is for my patients to break up with a narcissistic partner. Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that you feel like you are giving up a part of your heart to leave them. And they use every manipulation in the book to get you to stay.
On the surface, narcissists may appear charming, intelligent, and caring, knowing how to seduce and lure them back into your life. But once they back away from you, they go back to their selfish selves.
Their motto will always be “Me first!” Everything revolves around them. They have a great sense of self-importance and entitlement, and crave admiration and attention. They can also be very intuitive but use their intuition for self-interest and manipulation.
Dating someone with narcissistic personality disorder is dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love.
Unfortunately, their hearts either did not develop or were closed down due to early psychological trauma, such as being raised by narcissistic parents, an emotionally and spiritually crippling handicap.
(The damage of narcissistic parenting is wonderfully detailed in Alice Miller’s drama The Gifted Child.) Although they are difficult to understand, these people have little knowledge of their actions, and do not regret them.
To find out if you are tired of being manipulated and controlled by a narcissistic partner? Do you feel trapped in a toxic relationship and there is no way out? Ask yourself the following questions from my book Emotional Freedom.
Related: How To Rebuild Your Life After Being Broken By An Emotional Psychopath
Am I in a relationship with a narcissist?
Does a person act as if life revolves around him?
Should I compliment him to get his attention or approval?
Does he constantly direct the conversation to himself?
Does it diminish my feelings or interests?
If we disagree, does it become cold or contracted?
If you answered “yes” to one or two questions, you are probably dealing with a narcissist. Answering “yes” to three or more questions indicates that the narcissist is violating your emotional freedom.
Narcissists are hard to break. With these patients, the best I can do is align with their positive aspects and focus on the behaviors they agree are ineffective. However, even if one wants to change, progress is limited, and gains are meager.
My professional advice: Do not fall in love with a narcissist or imagine that he is capable of the necessary give and take in an intimate relationship. In such relationships, you will always be somewhat emotionally alone.
If you have an isolated, narcissistic spouse, beware of trying to win the care you never received from your parents; It won’t happen. Also, don’t expect your sensitivity to be respected. These people cloud their love with all the hurdles you have to jump through to please them.
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How do you break up with a narcissistic partner?
If you’re trying to get an answer to “how to end a relationship with a narcissist,” use these techniques to take back your power.
- Do not fall victim to their manipulations
They will use every trick in the book to get you back so be prepared. Narcissists are really convincing. When you’re ready to leave, stick to your convictions and move on to a more positive future filled with true love. - Set boundaries
Since narcissists have no empathy and cannot truly love, you must quietly leave them and endure the pain. Set boundaries and say no to her in your heart. Then gather all your strength and keep walking into the unknown towards something better. - Focus on the future
Once you break up with the narcissist, it is extremely important that you focus all your energy and positive thoughts on doing good things for yourself and the world. Don’t let your mind wander about the past or what it is doing. - Be kind to yourself
Treasure yourself. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate that love.
My view on life is that every person we meet along the way, whether we like it or not, is meant to help us grow. Don’t blame yourself for being in a relationship with a narcissist.
But please learn what you can from it, including setting healthy boundaries and saying “no” to abuse, so you don’t repeat this lesson again. It is very emotionally liberating to heal any attraction to abusive people so that you can have more true love in your life.
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s New York Times bestselling book Emotional Freedom: Free Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
Related: What Is Parasitic Relationship? 9 Warning Signs and Their Devastating Impact on Your Life
“How to break up with a narcissist” can be a very difficult question to answer, but it is important for you to remember that you are not alone.
