How do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
Whereas empaths want to soothe the narcissist’s pain and help them feel safe, the narcissist simply wants to drain the empath’s compassionate energy like fuel to an engine.
I’ve seen so many empaths completely destroyed by narcissists because they mistakenly believe a narcissist is a tortured soul that can only be healed through empath’s unconditional love and ever-watchful devotion.
In today’s video, you’ll learn two powerful ways to protect yourself from narcissists, why living by the golden rule isn’t always the right thing to do, and ways you can start healing as early as possible today.
What I see in most cases is that empaths have a very hard time setting boundaries and allowing others to be held accountable for their actions.
I used to think that being a spiritual person and being an empath meant I needed to turn the other cheek and treat people the way I wanted to be treated. Even those who treated me horribly.
I have since learned that this is not what it means to be an empathetic person or to be spiritual.
The truth is, we’re not here to try to treat everyone in a completely out-of-control fashion. Unfortunately, the common theme with many empaths is that we often treat others to our detriment, which is very unhealthy and frankly, we are not helping the other person when we allow them to continue to commit terrible acts as a human without accepting anything. responsible.
How do empaths protect themselves against narcissists?
It’s important to understand that being spiritual and being empathetic doesn’t mean we have to keep forgiving the person over and over again, at least not while we’re in a relationship with them.
Simply put, being spiritual does not mean being a doormat.
This applies to romantic relationships or any other type of relationship, so if you know that you are an empath or suspect that you have empathic qualities, today’s video will help you learn to protect yourself from narcissists.
1 – Get comfortable with implementing boundaries
The first thing all empaths need to strengthen themselves is to accept that in order to have healthy relationships, you’ll want to get to a point where you feel comfortable implementing boundaries.
What I see a lot is really empathetic and loving individuals who don’t apply boundaries in their relationships and then wonder why they are being taken advantage of. (I was doing this too, so no judgment there).
When we allow someone to cross our boundaries and do nothing about it, we are essentially teaching them how to treat us. After a while, the narcissist realizes that they can do whatever they like and there will be no consequences.
When we forgive narcissists over and over again, they don’t start questioning themselves, they never have an epiphany and start seeing your unconditional love for them. What happens instead is that they begin to see the object of their abuse as disgusting and that is why their abuse gets worse over time.
Many people believe, perhaps based on their religious beliefs, that they are supposed to turn the other cheek and live by the golden rule, but this does not apply to narcissists and other manipulators. If you are a religious person, the Bible and other religious texts are very clear about how to deal with such people.
Author Christine Lewis de Cannonville once wrote a series based on passages from the Bible relating to narcissism. Because when she was a therapist, many of her clients struggled with the belief that if they didn’t turn the other cheek, they wouldn’t forgive, and therefore they wouldn’t forgive themselves.
Please understand, I am not trying to preach here, but in Christine’s articles, she suggests that narcissism is covered in the Bible. In Paul’s second pastoral letter to Timothy, Paul appears to be interested in the character and behavior of leaders within the church, so he admonishes Timothy to be aware of those who act out of altruism:
Men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemous, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, stoic, cruel, without self-control, brutal, contemptuous of goodness, traitors, having some form of piety, but depriving them From her strength … and from these people they turned away.
Maybe you are not a religious person. Personally, although I strongly believe in God, I don’t follow organized religion anymore because there is a lot of religious control energy going on in today’s society, and in my own experience what I’ve seen are leaders who wanted to manage people and control them with spiritual information.
I have worked with far too many training clients who were intimidated by leaders within their church who used religion as a weapon. This is what I mean when I say we are under no obligation to help and heal everyone around us in an out-of-control way. You are not a vicious or selfish person to enforce boundaries in your relationships. Anyone who tells you that you are evil because you stand up for yourself is trying to use the power of religious control against you.
We all need boundaries because if we don’t have them, we will continue to attract manipulative people and narcissists. Empaths would have an easier time with life if they could accept that boundaries are extremely important if you want to start healthy relationships and stop feeling like a blinking neon light calling every narcissist in a hundred mile radius.
If someone doesn’t want to change, saying no and moving on is usually the only healthy thing you can do.
The most loving thing we can do for another human being is to hold them accountable for their actions instead of clearing the stage for them every time. Otherwise, we teach them that it is okay to continue doing the hurtful things they do.
2 – A narcissist is not a tortured soul who needs a special kind of love
How do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
Almost every empath who has been in a relationship with a narcissist believes that if they can only show them how deep their unconditional love is for the narcissist, the narcissist will finally have an epiphany as they realize that there is a special and rare kind of love available to them, after all.
Empath love certainly has its healing properties, but it does nothing to change the narcissist’s behavior or motivations in the relationship. Narcissists are morally bankrupt individuals who do not appreciate the things others do for them.
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Instead, they feel completely deserving of any love and devotion directed toward them. The truth is that everyone the narcissist has ever been involved with has given them this unconditional love, but unfortunately, narcissists consider this love and devotion to be disposable. They know intuitively that there are a lot of wounded people who fear applying boundaries for fear of losing their relationships, and most narcissists are constantly looking for new sources of supply.
This is exactly why when your relationship ends, you see it with someone else so quickly. In many cases, the new person is not new. The narcissist has already been taking care of them for some time.
If any of this resonates with you, please know that I understand how hard it can be to start applying boundaries in your relationships when you haven’t done so before. The Way of the Warrior and Empowered Empath dies upon our old ways and is reborn as the best version of ourselves as we realize our worth and the right to happy, healthy relationships and most importantly, the relationship we have with ourselves.
That’s what my Break Free Bootcamp is about. It teaches you to stand up for yourself and to be your best friend and goodbye.
How do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
If you’re feeling intimidated, I know how you feel. I’ve been there myself and there’s almost no worse feeling in the world than feeling like you’re in a never-ending nightmare, but life doesn’t have to be that way.
Every passing minute is an opportunity to change everything and you can get started by taking your first empowering step and claiming the Healing Roadmap for Beginners (below), which includes everything you need to get started, including a powerful worksheet on setting your limits and bargain brokers.
