Recently, I have been receiving a lot of emails and messages on social media from readers who have received them. They are tired of this year; they are tired of The Bachelor from family members, friends, their partner, ex-partner, dating, social media, news, and themselves everything. Many are convinced that they are the problem, while others just want to get away. “I don’t want to talk to my brother again!”Maybe my friends are better off without me.””Can’t they shut up already?!”What’s the point of even trying for anything / anyone anymore?””How could he / she do this for me at such a time?”The list goes on. This is what emotional burnout looks like.
There were times in my life when I knew that I was not physically exhausted but ended up sleeping for fourteen hours straight. How? Emotional burnout. I think I’m still behind the eight ball in relation to the people, circumstances, situations and events that emotionally exhausted me in my childhood.
Emotional burnout is something that I think builds up over time. It’s interesting because when I’m physically exhausted and haven’t slept for several days, I have absolutely no problem explaining to anyone that I can’t do what they want/need me to do (because I can’t physically; it’s impossible) until I fall asleep. I would never drive a car if I didn’t sleep for three days in a row. It will be completely irresponsible and dangerous. I will not only endanger my own life, but also the lives of others.
With emotional burnout, it’s a little different. Most of the time, we don’t realize (or want to take the time to separate and admit) how emotionally tired we are until it’s too late. Interaction feels like our only option because we are literally, running on fumes.
Thus, the gates burst open in an irreparable way. We waste the rest of our lives blaming (and sabotaging) ourselves for not being able to put the proverbial toothpaste back in the tube.
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Conversely, there have been times in my life where I was fully aware that I was being emotionally exploited. But I stayed in denial because it was easier. I kept looking for external sources (the person I was dating, my family, my job, my friends, news/celebrity gossip, going out, having more drink than usual, making online purchases-any kind of distraction) to feed me. This created an unhealthy dependence on everyone and everything outside of myself.
I was exhausted from the inside, I had to constantly chase the escaping height. Eventually, this began to distort my sense of reality. It generated a victim mentality (which made me a sitting duck for toxic relationships) and led to panic attacks that lead to an emotional breakdown.
You’ve probably experienced this before. Or, you may feel completely drained / overwhelmed now and headed towards your breaking point.
Let’s address your emotional burnout right here, right now.
If you do not do this, then surely your body will eventually prove to you how strong the connection of stress and illness really is. (For more information on this topic, I highly recommend Dr. Gabor Matti’s book, when the body says “no”).
What is emotional burnout? And how do I know if I’m suffering from emotional fatigue?
Emotional exhaustion does not require the presence of physical fatigue, but if you are emotionally exhausted, you will always feel it physically.
When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel and you can’t catch your emotional breath.
Physical fatigue follows in many forms. Here are some of the physical symptoms that I have personally experienced as a result of not recognizing/processing my emotional burnout:
Decreased appetite
Hair loss
Endometriosis of the uterus
Trouble sleeping
Blood sugar problems
Deformation (not with my body as much as with my face. I have suffered from facial dysplasia for years) which leads to…
Acne/skin selection
Exam
Candida overgrowth
Leaky intestinesDid emotional burnout alone cause every one of the above conditions? No.no.
There were other contributing factors, of course. But I can assure you that what they all had in common was emotional exhaustion.
When you are emotionally exhausted, everything is triggered by your emotional triggers. It seems that you can not escape from others and, most frustratingly, yourself.
I always know that I am emotionally exhausted if I have these symptoms…
Symptoms of emotional burnout
Internalize the behavior of others. You are unable to allow others to own their behavior.
People-pleasing on the dimensionality.
You feel a constant feeling of death. You are also more negative/pessimistic and feel frustrated because everything turns you on.
Anxiety attacks.
Emotionally unavailable. You feel completely examined and numb.
You have difficulty saying " No " to people (including the cynical public in your head).
Socialization in any form feels like a chore. You feel anxious and overwhelmed when you think about having to interact with certain people.
You can't remember the last time you were really happy.
Whether it's a commercial on TV, a movie, or a book you're reading, you cry very easily.Breaking news…
Social media, news, some ingredients in processed foods, and finally, toxic people will test your determination to stay on your white horse in every possible way.
Go on.
Related : Stages Of A Breakup: What To Expect & How To Heal Amid Heartbreak
Exhaustion-whether emotional or physical – is a normal part of life. It happens. But getting off your white horse is an option.
You can either allow yourself to be completely drained (and allow this to be the lubricant for the interaction) so that you have no other choice but to get off your white horse and insult your emotional intelligence or you can do one of the most painful, lonely and courageous things that one can do…
Related : Trauma Bonding: How To Release A Trauma Bond
You can act based on the realization that only you can replenish your emotional energy.
Here’s how.
How to heal emotional and mental exhaustion
*I am not a doctor, nor am I licensed or certified in anything. Here are the recommendations that worked for me. Always check with your doctor.
Here are some things that helped/helped when I feel emotionally tired:
I began to be honest with myself and with others. When I started to feel my feelings, I was able to kindly (and not brutally) communicate them once and then, act accordingly and without apologies.
I learned how to say " no.”
I have invested in a weighted blanket.
I drank mint tea and also a few drops of lemon balm extract in water every day until I felt that I could exhale emotionally.
I invested in an eye mask and eventually, blackout curtains for better sleep when I could afford them.
After every shower I can, I take the time to moisturize my body from head to toe. As I moisturize each limb, I thank my body for everything it does to me despite what I did to it.
I started minding my own business. Seriously. Instead of aimlessly (and obsessively/compulsively) searching on social media, I will get lost in a good book, I will participate in a TV show cook a nutritious meal, and close the world. I'm going to work on my job. The more connected I am to my own life, the easier it will be to listen to my instincts and take care of my emotional needs (before reaching the point of no return by satisfying everyone else's needs).
Go out and walk in nature as much as possible. Sunlight (*natural * vitamin D), fresh air and drinking water do wonders. I know, it sounds very obvious, but it's true.
I realize that I don't owe anyone anything. I owe my emotional body the same attention that I give my physical body because I know that without my mental health, my physical health will be eroded. Poor mental health also leads to skin irritation and aging.
I have invested in an acupressure mat.
I turned off my phone as completely as possible.Please, if you can’t do it yourself yet, do it for me and for people (living and deceased) who love and believe in you as much as I do.
Stay away from social media.
Get out of your text messages.
Turn off the news for a long time but you can.
Disconnect from all the noise and see how you feel when you are not a hamster that has become dependent on a wheel. Come here to this blog, communicate with others, and just know that you will succeed.
Look how far you’ve come already.
