The types of relationships we enter into have a huge impact on our health – emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically.
A good, healthy relationship is one of intimacy. It helps you grow, enables you to learn more about yourself and the other person, and opens your mind to different perspectives. It also makes you feel respected and honored.
Toxic relationships are the exact opposite. The problem is that we don’t always see them correctly from the start.
One type of toxic relationship is one with a narcissistic partner.
If you suspect you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, if you’re concerned about your mental health because of the same relationship, or if you want to know what narcissistic abuse can do to you, read on.
In this article, we’ll briefly talk about narcissism, how to spot a narcissist and the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships.
What is a narcissist?
To understand its effects, we must first learn more about what we’re dealing with.
Understandably, we sometimes use the word “narcissist” or “narcissist” to describe someone selfish.
But what some of you may not know is that narcissism is a real, diagnosable condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Some people may have some of the characteristics of a narcissist, but not all of them, or not all of the time.
If you’re lucky enough not to have encountered a narcissist, it’s important to know what to look out for so you can avoid the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships.
Here are the top traits to look out for, according to the fifth and latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5):
A sense of self-grandeur
An example of this is when someone brags about their talents and accomplishments a lot, even if they’re not really that impressive.
RELATED:15 subtle signs you’re dealing with a manipulative friend
Delusions of success and power
Narcissists idealize love and indulge in visions of unlimited success, power, and beauty. They genuinely believe that they are unique and can only be understood by people like them.
Seeking Praise
They are always looking for admiration and compliments. They feel entitled to favoritism and special treatment.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissists exploit others for their ends and are often unable to acknowledge the feelings and needs of others.
Jealousy
A narcissist is jealous of others and believes that others are jealous of them. They may also have an arrogant or conceited attitude.
To avoid the effects of narcissistic abuse in future relationships, it may also be a good idea to know the early signs of narcissism in a partner.
What are some of the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships?
The effects you may experience may vary depending on how long you stay in these types of relationships.
Some people may experience “mild” effects, while others unfortunately experience long-term damage.
1) Anxiety and Depression
The stress of narcissistic abuse can trigger feelings of anxiety, nervousness, or fear because it is often difficult to predict how the narcissist will act.
You may also lose interest in things you used to enjoy doing, which is a sign of depression.
You may also experience one of the effects of narcissistic abuse in future relationships – asking yourself why your partner suddenly changed.
You may also ask yourself: Is this your fault? Another sign of this concern is blaming yourself for their behavior because you believe in their manipulation and lies.
Remember: In narcissism, your partner may say and do things to control how you act and influence how you feel.
2) Post-traumatic stress disorder
Another possible effect is complex post-traumatic stress disorder or C-PTSD.
It is important to keep in mind that complex PTSD is not an official diagnosis but rather a combination of symptoms that appear as a type of PTSD.
These are the effects of narcissistic abuse in future relationships that fall under complex PTSD:
- Repeated flashbacks of traumatic events
- Avoiding triggers from traumatic events
- Hypervigilance and sensing threats in normal interactions
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Poor self-image
- Struggle in interpersonal relationships
3) Cognitive problems
Another effect of narcissistic abuse is difficulty concentrating on normal tasks. These symptoms range from something as simple as watching TV or doing your work.
This is because your mind may replay memories of traumatic events, which can disrupt your concentration.
The brains of people who suffer from abuse by narcissists may change, specifically the hippocampus and amygdala, which are responsible for memory and emotional processing, respectively.
In children with narcissistic parents, these structures are overstimulated and diminished. Smaller-than-normal structures will leave the child growing up to be an adult who cannot handle their feelings, especially feelings of shame and guilt.
4) Sudden, extreme changes in emotions
One of the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships is the development of emotional problems.
This includes mood swings, where you feel good one minute and irritable or depressed the next.
Mood swings can be caused by several different things, including depression, which we discussed earlier.
Long periods of trauma can also cause depersonalization, where you feel like you are outside your body or that things around you are not real.
Narcissistic abuse can also make you feel like a robot like you have no control over what you say or do. You may also feel emotionally and physically numb.
If these feelings keep coming back or don’t go away, they can affect how you function in everyday life. You may be suffering from what is called depersonalization and derealization disorder.
5) Loss of self-esteem
One of the effects of narcissistic abuse in future relationships is that you no longer know who you are.
This can cause you to doubt your self-worth and develop trust issues with others.
You may also start to blame yourself; if you believe that something you did caused the abuse, you may be less inclined to seek help.
You may also lose confidence in making decisions, no matter how simple they may seem.
6) Loss of trust in others
We mentioned earlier that trust issues develop when it comes to dealing with others.
As we established, this can be one of the detrimental effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships.
That’s because when you’re unable to trust new people, you’re not only protecting yourself from being hurt again. You may also be hindering relationships that are beneficial to you.
If you have trust issues, you may constantly wonder if people are telling you the truth or if they’re just deceiving you to serve their purposes.
You may also develop social anxiety, where you feel fear that affects your daily activities, undermines your self-confidence, and impacts your relationships.
Some other signs of social anxiety include:
- Anxiety about activities that involve meeting new people, starting conversations, and mixing with groups
- Feeling embarrassed about your actions and how you might appear to others
- Feeling like you’re being watched
- Fear of criticism
- Panic attacks
7) Self-Destruction
Unfortunately, the abuse doesn’t always stop with the abuser.
One of the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships can be the formation of self-destructive habits.
This can happen because you may blame yourself for how your partner treated you.
Some self-destructive habits include self-harm (such as cutting); alcohol or drug abuse; smoking; poor eating choices (such as binge eating, and purging); and even suicide.
8) People-Pleasing
On the other hand, there is a tendency to seek external validation from others—in other words, people-pleasing.
This is one of the potential effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships because you’ve become accustomed to bending over backwards to please your partner.
A people pleaser is someone who goes to great lengths to gain approval from others and prioritizes the needs of others over their own.
The difference between being helpful and being a people pleaser is that the latter often leaves one feeling drained, stressed, and anxious.
A people pleaser believes that keeping others happy is the way to keep a relationship going.
How to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse can cause irreparable damage to a victim’s life.
To move forward, you need strategies to heal from the wounds caused by a narcissistic partner.
Of course, prevention is better than cure, which is why it’s helpful to consider the effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships.
But we know that’s easier said than done. We can’t always see beyond the fog, especially when we think the relationship might be real.
So it’s equally important to know what to do if you end up in a relationship with a narcissist:
Acknowledging that you’ve been abused means accepting the feelings that are running through you, whether they’re anxiety, anger, depression, or sadness.
Learning all you can about what narcissistic traits look like and recognizing the different ways they’re manipulated can help you better avoid one in the future.
No matter what you’re going through, you’re not alone. There are communities online and in real life for people who may have had similar experiences, where you can talk about your feelings and get advice in the process.
Individual sessions with a therapist may also help you move past your experiences with narcissistic abuse.
Finally, despite how you feel, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. This includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and rediscovering your hobbies or passions.
Conclusion
The effects of narcissistic abuse on future relationships can be devastating, and some may be irreparable.
As such, it’s important to learn all about narcissistic personality disorder, manipulation, and the potential effects of getting involved with such a person.
But if you’re already in one, have recently ended a relationship with one, or feel like your mental health is at stake, the most important thing is to seek help from others.
