If you’ve ever met someone with narcissistic traits, chances are they were charming to begin with.

You may be in a relationship with a narcissist right now, and you’re confused by their behavior because they started out charming, only to flip a switch along the way.

Charming behavior is to be expected from a narcissist, and if you’re not careful, it can lure you in. Once you fall prey to their charm and charisma, the narcissist will have you where they want you.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’re at risk of falling victim to their charm offensive. Below, we’ll delve into what this means and why you shouldn’t let them fool you.

What is a Narcissistic Charm Attack?

Charm attack refers to the narcissist’s charming behavior at the beginning of a relationship. In order to win you over, the narcissist will go all out, showering you with compliments and affection.

Related : 8 Reasons Why You Can Never Expect Empathy From a Narcissist

During the charm offensive phase, the narcissist will be charming and romantic, telling you exactly what you want to hear. He will be impressed by his attentiveness, sensitivity to your needs, and willingness to devote time and effort to you.

You may also notice that he is the life of the party. He is able to entertain everyone in the room, and is always ready to share a funny story or talk about his experiences.

The problem is that this behavior is not real, and it certainly will not last. Beneath the charm is a cold and cruel person, willing to exploit people for his own gain.

Reasons Not to Fall for a Charm Attack

It is easy to get swept up in the charming behavior of a narcissist; however, falling prey to him will only leave you heartbroken. Remember the following facts if you are tempted to fall for this charm.

It is not real charm

A narcissist will try to make you believe that his charm indicates his genuine interest and care, but it is not. The narcissist imposes his charm forcefully, to make you fall in love with him.

Many people refer to this behavior as “love bombing,” a tactic that narcissists use to make you fall in love with them by expressing their undying love for you and showering you with compliments and affection.

Once narcissists have you, they will use you to their advantage. This may mean asking you for big favors, lending you money, or using you to boost their ego.

Remember, narcissists court you until you commit to them. Once they get you where they want you, their attitude will change.

TheyRepeatTheCycle

One way narcissists lure you into their charming behavior is to use you as part of a cycle.

In the beginning of the relationship, they will shower you with love and attention. Once they believe they’ve been tricked, they’ll start making demands and showing their dark side.

You’ll be confused after they change course and your charm wears off. Concerned that you’ve made a mistake, you’ll fight even harder to win back their affection and return the relationship to the bliss it was in the early stages.

This is exactly what narcissists want. They want you to be consumed by your desire to please them, so they can continue to take advantage of everything you have to offer.

If you express your displeasure or threaten to leave when they start abusing you, the narcissist will go back to being charming, but only for a short time.

They will show you just enough love and attention to win you back, only to revert back to their abusive ways.

This cycle will continue as long as you allow it, which is another reason to avoid falling for the narcissist’s charm.

It’sPartOfTheirManipulation

Narcissists are master manipulators, and their overly charming demeanor is one of their primary tactics.

They can be so manipulative in their actions that they almost captivate you. They will promise you everything, sing your praises, and make you feel like you’re the most amazing person they’ve ever met.

Remember, it’s all a game of manipulation. Narcissists don’t charm you because they truly want a mutually loving relationship with you. They use their charm offensive to draw you in and make you dependent on their love.

Related : Don’t Fall Prey to a Narcissist’s False Promises

After they charm you, you’ll feel like you’ve met your perfect soulmate. This gives the narcissist absolute power over you because you would do anything for your soulmate, right?

If you are convinced that this person is your ideal lover, you will continue to meet their every demand, even when they start hurting you.

Signs to Watch Out For

So, how do you know if a narcissist is trying to charm you? Watch out for the following behaviors.

Mimicking You

When a narcissist is trying to win you over, they will mimic your behaviors. They will pretend to like the same things you do and be interested in all your hobbies.

You will feel like you have met your ideal soulmate, and it may even feel too good to be true.

Showing Superiority

Part of the narcissist’s charm is their ability to portray themselves as an expert with confidence.

They will go to great lengths to appear intellectually superior and downplay the accomplishments, talents, and intelligence of others. They hope that you will view them as an authority figure who knows everything.

Affection and Excessive Attention

When a narcissist uses charm offensive tactics, they will shower you with attention and affection.

It’s not uncommon for them to call and text you around the clock, constantly check in on you, and tell you how much they care about you. At first, you’ll feel flattered, like you’ve found someone who can’t stop thinking about you.

Moving Fast

Part of the narcissist’s charm is also their willingness to jump into a serious relationship quickly.

You may have been on a date, or met briefly for coffee, and they’re planning your entire future together.

They may talk about how they feel they’ve met their perfect partner, and they can’t believe how strong their feelings are for you.

Every Conversation Turns Towards Them

A charmer narcissist wants all the attention and craves the admiration of others.

If you watch closely, you’ll notice that most conversations revolve around discussing the narcissist’s talents and accomplishments. The narcissist needs to feel superior, and they want you to see them that way.

Protecting Yourself

If you suspect someone may be a narcissist, look for signs like a lack of empathy, a need for constant admiration, and displays of arrogance.

When these signs are coupled with excessive charm and emotionality, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist.

Related : Secret Tricks Narcissists Use to Pretend They Love You

Once you notice these signs, it’s important to set boundaries. If the narcissist is moving too quickly in the relationship, let them know. Tell them that you’re unable to respond to texts and phone calls 24/7.

A real person will respect your boundaries or try to meet your needs. A narcissist, on the other hand, will get angry or perhaps leave you alone altogether.