Social media has changed communication, relationships, and society in recent years in ways that have been remarkably transformative. One of my colleagues at a behavioral medicine conference in San Francisco this week that focused on the impact of technology on health behaviors likened the invention of social media to the game-changing impact of the Industrial Revolution! How cool! I have to admit that I agree with her point. While I’m certainly not as tech-savvy as most of my younger colleagues and friends, I’ve witnessed how Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, and the like have revolutionized the ways we connect with others. This can be both good and bad. Like most new, exciting, and transformative innovations, there are often unintended consequences that can be both positive and negative. One major concern as I watch the impact of social media unfold is the development of more narcissistic tendencies among those who embrace these new technologies and spend so much of their time and energy with them.
We live in a narcissistic culture. A recent survey found that while only about 15% of teens thought they were very important in the 1950s, more than 90% of teens now think they are very important people. The self-esteem movement of the 1970s (which didn’t work out that well, by the way) has probably been made worse by the use of social media. I heard a college counselor here in Silicon Valley, where I live and work, say that many local tech companies often have a hard time giving corrective feedback to young employees because they’re simply not used to any criticism… at all. Oh my!
What is it about social media that adds steroids to a narcissistic culture? It seems that we now live in a world where every thought we have, every meal we eat, every fun experience we have must be shared with the world via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and so on. Look, I use social media and I can enjoy the travel, meals, and random thoughts of my friends and colleagues, but I wonder if anyone cares what I’m having for dinner, or what I’m thinking about current events, or where I’m spending the weekend. I think most people are more interested in what they’re having for dinner than what a friend or colleague, perhaps thousands of miles away, is eating… don’t you think? I don’t think my closest friends and family care about my daily thoughts, meals, and activities, so why should we expect others to be interested in this information? In short, social media is a high-tech way to say, “Look at me!” This may just add fuel to the fire of all the other factors that create the narcissistic culture we live in here in the United States.
Trust me. I’m a fan of these new social media innovations and use many (but not all) of them. But it might be helpful for all of us to pause and ask ourselves before hitting the “send” or “share” button on our smartphones or computers: “Does the ‘look at me’ I’m posting make me look like a narcissist?” No one admits to being a narcissist, but many people are, and social media is a way to make that clear to your friends, colleagues, followers, and the public at large.
So, what do you think?
