You’ve had enough of the narcissist, and you’ve finally decided to leave. There’s just one problem: Your finances are in shambles.

As you work out your exit strategy, money is probably one of your biggest concerns. You wish it weren’t like this, but you need to be able to survive.

Financial security can make things easier, but it’s not the only consideration.

If you’re stuck worrying about finances and aren’t sure where to turn, don’t worry. There are solutions and resources available.

Related : Six reasons why narcissists put your friends against you

If your finances aren’t quite in order, you can still make a plan to leave.

How a Narcissist Destroys Your Finances

First, let’s take a look at how a narcissist destroys your finances.

Narcissists believe they’re entitled to whatever they want, and that includes your paycheck. So, it’s not uncommon for a relationship with a narcissist to empty your bank account.

During the relationship, you probably paid most of the bills, covered appointments and vacations, and even bailed them out a few times. The narcissist probably has a sad story about why they need your money.

You cashed a check, and you believed them. They probably promised to pay you back, but never delivered.

The bottom line is that the narcissist was more than willing to take advantage of your financial resources. Because they lack empathy, they don’t care how it affects you.

You may have even agreed to jointly take on debt to help them, and now your credit score is ruined.

Narcissists and Your Career

To add insult to injury, the narcissist may also have made it difficult for you to hold down a job. Narcissists demand so much of your time that you can’t dedicate yourself to work.

So, you’re definitely not as productive as you could be without the narcissist in your life. This could lead to lost wages, or even missing out on a promotion.

All of this could ultimately impact your financial health.

As you consider leaving, you may convince yourself that you can’t start over on your own. But are you managing your finances with the narcissist in your life?

Considerations Beyond Finances

Financials shouldn’t be your only consideration when leaving a narcissistic relationship. Sure, you need to be able to feed yourself, but there are other things to consider as well.

Your Personal Safety

Narcissistic rage can sometimes lead to violent outbursts. If your safety is at risk because of these situations, finances shouldn’t be your first priority.

Related : Six ways to take power away from the narcissist

Explore local resources like domestic violence shelters, or reach out to trusted friends or family members to see if you can stay with them temporarily.

You can rebuild your finances while living safely and away from the narcissist.

YourMentalHealth

Narcissists play games that can erode the mental health of even the most resilient person. You may be at your lowest point after enduring gaslighting, blame, and cold, callous behavior.

You don’t need to stay in this situation, especially if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trauma.

Your finances may not be ideal, but you’ll be better able to support yourself when your mental health improves.

Leaving may be the best option. You can begin to heal while you build your savings back up.

Planning an Exit Strategy

Getting your finances in order isn’t the only consideration when leaving a narcissist. You need to have a comprehensive exit strategy in place.

This includes gathering your belongings, making sure you have important documents and identification, and formally planning your departure.

You may want to consider leaving while the narcissist is away, so they don’t try to convince you to stay. It’s also important to inform trusted friends or family members of your plan, so they can step in to help if needed.

Part of this exit strategy may include financially disengaging from the narcissist. If you have a joint account, this means opening your account and depositing your paychecks into it.

You may also want to consider setting aside some money in savings to prepare for your departure. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re financially stable, but at least you’re financially separate from the narcissist.

Starting Over Slow

Financial stability doesn’t happen overnight, so when you leave a narcissist, it can be helpful to take small steps.

Don’t pressure yourself to have an 800 credit score and six months of living expenses in savings right away.

Related : 7 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You

It also helps to have realistic expectations for housing and other necessities.

Maybe that transition period means selling your car for a cheaper model. Or maybe you’re starting over in a small studio apartment so you can afford rent while you rebuild your savings.

This may require some saving and lifestyle changes, but the peace of mind you get is worth it.

Being free from a narcissist is a luxury in itself.

TheNarcissistFinancialToll

If you’re debating whether to leave a narcissist before you’ve achieved financial stability, consider this fact: You probably aren’t financially stable in the relationship either.

In fact, you’re likely to be financially unstable because of the relationship with the narcissist.

Your finances may not be in perfect shape right now, but staying in the relationship won’t solve that problem. Leaving a narcissist increases the likelihood that you’ll be able to achieve financial health in the future.

The day you leave, you’re one step closer to regaining control of your finances from the narcissist.

TheBottom

If your relationship with a narcissist has left your finances in shambles, you’re not alone. Narcissists will exploit you for everything you have, causing you to give up your savings and fall into debt.

You may think you can’t leave the relationship because you’re financially unstable. Money worries are understandable, but remember that the narcissist is the reason your finances are in shambles in the first place.

Leaving the relationship opens the door to financial freedom, so you’ll have the opportunity to actually get your finances in order.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who maintains control by providing for your financial needs, the same message applies to you. Walking away means you can finally enjoy your freedom without the narcissist using their bank account to control you.

Financial stability can make it easier to leave an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist. However, there are many reasons why you might want to leave before you achieve financial stability, especially if your physical and mental health is at risk.