When you two are newly married, everything seems perfect and dreamy, right? Slowly and gradually over time, you begin to settle into each other and get to know each other more. And before you know it, the annoyance begins, and about every little thing.

Did you load the dishwasher? Did you pick up the dry cleaning? Did you leave the toilet seat? Did you ask the babysitter to come over today because we won’t be home? Did you take out the trash? And so on and so forth. When your husband is constantly bombarding you with endless questions of “Did you do this” and “Did you do that”, then my friend, you are married to a grumbler.

Most people think nagging is no big deal, but truth be told, nagging can be a slow killer to your marriage. It fades little by little in your relationship, until there is so much bitterness, anger, and resentment, that it seems difficult to get back from them. The act of grumbling can have devastating and dangerous consequences for your marriage, if not resolved in time.

Here are 7 signs you have an annoying wife

1. They try to control you by constantly pushing you.
   When you’re married to a whiner, the act of nuisance can sometimes masquerade as control. If they are always keeping you on your toes with some chore or the other, it could mean that they are trying to force you to do all these things, which they want you to do. After some point, grumbling ceases to be a request, and becomes more of a weapon to control you.

The moment your husband starts micromanaging and controlling all your petty actions by being a whiner, see him as the last nail in the coffin and put an end to it. Realize that their intentions aren’t right, and make it clear to them that unless they stop bothering you every minute, you won’t do a damn thing. Make them realize that they can’t dictate everything, or your marriage will fall apart.

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2. You feel a certain degree of helplessness in them.
   Most of the time, people who complain think they are doing it because they want the best for their partner. They feel that they know their wives well enough to understand the mistakes they are making, and they have a responsibility to keep them on the right track.

Although the feelings are noble, excessive worry can sometimes take things in the wrong direction. Because babysitting and tutoring kids will never be the right choice. They may start out rationally, but when they see that you don’t pay attention to their words, they feel helpless and start to annoy you even more. This leads to a vicious cycle that could threaten to destroy your relationship.

Assure your husband that you hear what he has to say, and you just need a little time to make the changes. Tell them that constantly bothering you will keep you from listening to their advice.

3. It asks you to do something without stopping.
   If your partner asks you to do something multiple times, that’s normal. But if they constantly bother you about the same thing over and over, that’s a red flag. After some point, it is no longer useful and enters the troublesome area. The moment they ask you to do something more than three times, it stops being a request, and it becomes annoying.

One of the best ways to put an end to your husband’s grumbling is to ask him directly about the problem. Sit down and talk about the problem, and try to come up with an appropriate and understanding solution. Try not to be a judge, and understand where they come from. Let your spouse know that constantly focusing on negative things will not help your marriage in any way.

4. They try to raise you all the time.
   Complaining is a form of control, so if you’re married to a whiny guy, you’ll notice that he’s trying to pet you every chance he gets. They firmly believe that they know what’s good for you, more than you do. Yes, that sounds silly and outrageous, but that’s exactly what an annoying person thinks.

They will try to control you, your choices and your actions, all in the name of improving you. What starts out as a concern, gradually becomes dominant and dictates what you should do and how you should do it. God forbid you don’t do that, they will stay in you, unless you change your mind.

Let your husband know that they are not your parents, and this constant parenting is bothering you. Set certain limits, and let them know what’s acceptable and what’s not.

5. They put you down every chance they get.
   Sometimes their annoyance gets to this point where they start insulting you every chance they get. why? Simply because you don’t blindly do what they want you to do. They constantly talk about your mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings, and use them against you, to push you to do what they ask you to do.

You slowly begin to feel a lot of resentment and bitterness towards your spouse, and you try to avoid talking to them. Before things get too messy, let your partner know how much they hurt you, and if they continue to do so, it will only be a matter of time, before you give up.

6. Your sex life has deteriorated.
   Who wants to be intimate with someone who constantly annoys them? Being a nag can be a serious threat to your sex life, and it can totally kill your passion. Instead of excitement, love, and romance, there will be a lot of anger, hurt, and resentment, so it’s only natural that your sex life will take a big hit.

If you don’t want your sex life to end forever, communicate openly with your partner about everything that is going wrong. Feel free to be soft about your feelings, you may be able to make them understand that they need to stop bothering them.

7. They always speak in an accusatory tone, and use accusatory words.
   You know you have an annoying husband, when you find them always talking to you in an accusatory way. They begin each sentence with “You …”, then blame you for everything that annoys and angers them. They always make things your fault, how you can never do anything right.

If you want to put an end to this and make things better, you need to tell them to drop the endless accusations. Instead of saying, “Never load the dishwasher. I always have to, and you just don’t care!”, try saying, “I’d like to load the dishwasher after dinner, because I have so many other things to do.” “The moment the accusations fall, hatred and resentment descend.

Related: 5 Things To Consider Before Marriage If You’re Having Doubts

Marrying a bad guy can be very upsetting and stressful, but does that mean you’re going to give up on your marriage? of course not! Being a nag doesn’t always mean being a bad person. Sit down together and talk calmly about all the issues plaguing your relationship, have a healthy discussion and promise each other positive changes.