Divorcing a narcissist can be difficult for many reasons. Narcissists are known for their dramatic, dramatic reactions.

They don’t react well to feedback and dislike anything that threatens their sense of power and control.

Although narcissists often appear unhappy in their marriage, not all of them want a divorce.

In many ways, their spouse reinforces the ongoing narcissistic supply and may enable them to continue engaging in problematic behaviors.

Having a family looks good to the outside world, and narcissists want to protect their image.

Narcissists respond to divorce in a variety of ways. They may become angry, feel numb, seek revenge on their ex-spouse, and sometimes act as if the situation doesn’t bother them.

Do Narcissists Regret Divorce?

Few narcissists admit to regretting their divorce. Although narcissists can experience a range of emotions, regret requires a sense of personal responsibility.

When someone feels remorse, they blame themselves for how a certain outcome came about.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not experience self-blame in the same way that others do.

When they make a mistake, they blame others. It is rarely their fault, so they never think about what they did wrong.

Related : How A Narcissist Broke My Heart

If they can accept that they made a mistake, they act like a complete victim of their circumstances.

In other words, while the narcissist may acknowledge the experience of loss, they rarely acknowledge how they contributed to it.

The element of empathy is missing. They are more concerned with their own pain and suffering than with the feelings of others.

Furthermore, most narcissists refuse to tell others how they feel.

It is easier for them to slip into their false self, the self-centered one with an inflated sense of ego and self-worth.

This is why they often have no problem laughing and smiling in the courtroom.

I recommend reading one of my other articles that better explains how to tell a narcissist you want a divorce.

How Does a Narcissist React to Divorce?

A narcissist’s reaction to divorce can vary depending on the specific circumstances that led to the divorce.

If they initiate the divorce, they’ve already gotten rid of the marriage. It’s no longer useful to them.

They’ve either found another source of narcissistic supply — or they’re completely confident that they can find someone new quickly.

However, if you initiate the divorce, the response is much different. A narcissistic spouse hates to feel traumatized — it’s vulnerable to them, and it puts their sense of control over others at risk.

First, it’s not uncommon for a narcissist to try to prevent the divorce from happening altogether.

They may try to do this by engaging in various forms of narcissistic behavior, including:

Love Bombing Again

Love bombing can be a cyclical part of the Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, meaning that narcissists may rely on it to convince their spouse that they can rekindle their love.

This is where you can expect lots of gifts, sweet gestures, and reminders of how “good” they are.

This can be hard to deal with, especially if you’re feeling torn about whether you want to go through with the divorce.

Remember, love bombing doesn’t last long—the narcissist will only do it when they think it’s necessary to secure your approval again.

Consider reading: How Long Does Love Bombing Last?

Domestic Abuse

Not all narcissists are physically abusive, but if there’s a history of this in your marriage, the risk is heightened at this time.

The narcissist wants to punish you for your actions, and they also want to prove that you shouldn’t interfere in their affairs.

Making Grand Promises of Change

Narcissists become very ambitious when they feel threatened by the loss of something.

For example, if you’ve asked them to seek therapy in the past, they’re now telling you they’re going to try it.

Or, if you’ve argued about having children, they’re suddenly ready to be parents.

Essentially, when they tell you they’re going to change, they’re bribing you to stay by promising to give you what you cherish.

This doesn’t mean they actually intend to keep their word!

Threatening to Destroy You

When a narcissist senses that you’re serious about divorce, they’re likely to become extremely hostile.

They’ll threaten to ruin you financially. They’ll assure you that they’ll get full custody of the kids. And they’ll quickly try to secure the best lawyer they can find.

Smearing You in Front of Your Loved Ones

A narcissist will have no problem talking badly about you in front of your friends and family.

This might look like,

“No matter how much I care about her, I don’t think she really loved me,” or, “I was in this for a long time, but he wasn’t serious about our commitment. It’s just heartbreaking.”

They might also use this opportunity to bring up things you’ve told them in confidence.

For example, they might say,

“She’s been drinking again – she’s not acting like herself. I’ve really tried to help her, but you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to.”

Manipulating You with Other Family Members/Children

In addition to tarnishing your reputation in front of others, narcissists tend to work hard to make themselves look like the “good guy,” especially when it comes to young children.

The main goal of this is to show the outside world that you’re the problem, and that they’ve simply been caught in the unfortunate crossfire.

Destructing Themselves

Some narcissists will resort to serious vices, including substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, or other compulsive habits to cope with the divorce.

They may then try to blame you for causing them to act this way. Or even if they don’t blame you, they’re probably hoping you’ll notice and feel guilty.

Financial Abuse

A narcissist’s behavior when it comes to money can become very erratic during and immediately after a divorce.

They may start spending recklessly, opening cards in your name, defaulting on loans, or moving money into secret accounts.

All of this is an attempt to bring you down while securing their own interests.

Constantly monitoring you

Even when the divorce has been over for a long time, narcissists tend to pay attention to what their exes are up to.

In extreme cases, this can come in the form of stalking. However, in milder cases, it can look like they’re following you on social media or reaching out to mutual connections to see how things are going with you.

How does a narcissist feel after a divorce?

Divorce can reveal some of the narcissist’s true vulnerabilities. Their marriage has collapsed, and other people may be taking sides.

Things they valued—like their home, their children, or shared assets—may now be at stake. Their daily lives have been turned upside down.

Here are some common types of reactions a narcissistic spouse may have after a marriage ends:

Consider reading: Do Narcissists Love Their Kids?

Anger

Narcissistic anger can peak during the early stages of the divorce process. It can seem like they’re being downright cruel at this point.

They will do “whatever it takes” to bring you down, even if it means making themselves look terrible.

Severe Depression

Some narcissists, especially vulnerable or covert ones, react to divorce by withdrawing from the outside world.

They want their ex to feel guilty for what they did to them. They will threaten things like ending their life, relapsing on drugs, or “never moving on.”

Unfazed

Some narcissists seem completely unfazed after a divorce. They may even act like they don’t even think about getting married.

This is their manipulative act—they care about you and what happened, but they don’t want to show it to anyone.

Desperately Wanting to Move On ASAP

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to rush into a new, serious relationship after their marriage ends.

This has to do with their fragile self-esteem and inability to deal with being alone.

Another person can provide them with the validation and distraction they need during this turbulent time.

Entertainment

You’re likely to see some of the more intense narcissistic traits emerge during this time.

Many narcissists love chaos. The process of litigating a divorce, courting a family law attorney, and negotiating child support is like a game to them.

Because most narcissists are quite adept at hiding their true selves in public, they tend to trust that they will get what they want during the divorce process.

Do Narcissists Regret Losing Their Family?

Because narcissists experience and process regret differently than others, they are rarely able to sit with the feeling of loss.

Instead, these sad feelings turn into blame, anger, and a desperate attempt to “fill the void” as quickly as possible.

Some narcissists may identify with grief related to the loss of their family. But these feelings are relatively selfish and superficial.

They are often more concerned with destroying their public image or losing people who validate their self-worth.

In almost all cases, they cannot blame themselves for what happened.

Narcissism, however, runs a wide spectrum. People who have insight into Narcissistic Personality Disorder—and who actively work on improving themselves—may be able to tune out their deep feelings of deep regret.

However, at this point, it may be too late for them to make amends.