When it comes to relationships, physical affection such as hugging, cuddling, or even just touching can play a vital role in building intimacy and connection. But when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, things can get complicated. So, the question arises: Do narcissists like to be hugged or touched?
In this in-depth guide, we’ll explore what narcissists think about physical affection, why their responses may differ from others, and what it really means when a narcissist wants to be hugged or touched. Whether you’re dealing with a partner, friend, or family member who is a narcissist, this article will provide you with key insights to help you better understand their behavior.
- Understanding Narcissism: What It Really Means
Before delving into how narcissists view physical affection, it’s important to understand what narcissism is. Narcissism is a personality trait that can manifest itself in varying degrees, but at its core, it involves a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and an inflated sense of self-importance.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a more severe form of narcissism. People with NPD may exhibit:
An exaggerated sense of self-importance
A desire for constant admiration
Difficulty empathizing with others
Entitlement and expectation of special treatment
Narcissists crave attention and validation from others, but they often struggle to establish genuine emotional connections. This plays a crucial role in understanding how they handle physical affection, including hugs.
- Do narcissists like physical affection?
The answer is more nuanced than a simple “yes” or “no.” Narcissists, like everyone else, can enjoy physical touch, but their motivations for it often vary. For a narcissist, physical affection is not usually about closeness or emotional connection. Instead, it serves as a tool to gain validation and maintain control in a relationship.
Narcissists and Hugging
Hugging can serve two main purposes for narcissists:
Validation and Attention: Narcissists enjoy receiving attention, and hugging allows them to be the center of that attention. When they are hugged or touched, it reinforces their feelings of desire or admiration. Physical closeness can make them feel important, and in some cases, they may use it as a way to get affection when they want something in return.
Control: Narcissists often use hugging as a way to assert dominance or maintain control over a relationship. They may want to keep you close, but only on their terms. This may look like initiating a hug when it’s beneficial for them, but withdrawing or emotionally distancing themselves at other times.
Why They May Avoid Physical Affection
In contrast, there are situations in which narcissists may avoid physical affection altogether. If the act of hugging doesn’t serve their need for admiration or control, they may show little interest in physical closeness.
Emotional detachment: Because narcissists struggle with empathy, they may not engage in physical affection in the way that others do. Narcissists may feel uncomfortable or even unnecessary when hugging, which typically involves emotional warmth and closeness, if it does not meet their selfish needs. Fear of vulnerability: Hugging requires a certain level of emotional vulnerability, something narcissists tend to avoid. They may have difficulty lowering their emotional defenses and may avoid being physically affectionate because it can lead to moments of emotional exposure that they are uncomfortable with.
Read also: 7 Revealing Thoughts Inside the Mind of a Recovering Narcissist
- How Narcissists Use Touch to Their Advantage
Narcissists are often experts at manipulating situations to suit their needs. When it comes to touch, they can be strategic in how they engage in physical affection, using it to further their goals.
LoveBombing
In the beginning of a relationship, narcissists often engage in love bombing, which involves showering their partner with attention, affection, and even physical touch. This is not necessarily because they love their partner, but because it allows them to secure admiration and validation. They may initiate hugs, cuddles, and intimate touches to create an emotional bond that makes their partner feel special, increasing their dependence on them.
However, this phase is usually short-lived, and affection becomes less frequent once the narcissist feels in control or once the partner becomes more emotionally invested.
ManipulatingOthersAndPreventing
Once a narcissist has established control, they may begin using touch to manipulate their partner. This may include:
Withholding affection: If a narcissist feels that their partner is no longer giving them the attention they crave, they may withdraw affection or avoid physical touch as a way to punish or manipulate them.
Feeling guilty: If a narcissist is not getting the level of attention or affection they want, they may feel guilty toward their partner and become more physically affectionate. They may suggest that their partner is cold, indifferent, or unsupportive, making them feel obligated to be more physically affectionate.
- Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in Physical Affection
Physical affection from a narcissist can sometimes seem confusing. Here are some signs that hugging or physical touch may be a form of narcissistic manipulation:
Inconsistency: One day, a narcissist may be overly affectionate, but the next day, they may completely ignore you. This push-and-pull dynamic can cause emotional distress and confusion, as a partner may feel uncertain about the narcissist’s true feelings.
Conditional Affection: Affection may come with conditions. If a narcissist wants something—whether it’s attention, admiration, or even a favor—they may use physical touch as a way to get what they want.
Selfishness: A narcissist may expect you to give them affection, but they may not return it in a genuine or reciprocal way. They may enjoy physical closeness for their comfort, but they don’t give the same emotional warmth or affection in return.
- How to Deal with Touching with a Narcissist
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, dealing with physical affection can be difficult. Here are some tips for dealing with touching with a narcissist:
Set Boundaries: It’s important to set clear physical boundaries. If you’re uncomfortable with how a narcissist touches you or how they use physical affection, make your boundaries clear and stick to them.
Be Aware of Their Motivations: When a narcissist is emotional, remind yourself that the need for validation or control may drive their motivations. Try not to get too emotionally invested in their affection unless it feels genuine.
Self-Care: If you find yourself being manipulated through physical affection, take time for self-care. Your emotional and physical health should come first, so consider stepping back from the relationship if you feel that touch is manipulative or harmful.
