Knowing something is one thing…

Caring is another thing entirely.

Narcissists hurt those they encounter—left and right. The pleasure of their inner turmoil, matched by your emotional pain threshold, feeds their ego.

Small, intricate, and deceptive ways, to be sure, but they all hurt equally.

Being a painful victim of a narcissist means you’ve been through a painful experience. Make no mistake—they have a variety of ways—depending on who you are.

But do they know, and do they care?

Healthy Pain

I don’t want you to confuse “healthy pain” with the healthy version of inflicting pain. That’s not what it means.

Related : What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down

Healthy pain is when you unintentionally cause pain to someone else. You might forget an important event, an anniversary, or a date. Maybe you had a bad day and weren’t there for them when they needed you. Ultimately, we all make mistakes. If you were in your right mind, you would apologize profusely. You would want to make it up to that person and take responsibility for your actions.

Hurting someone hurts you, too, in a way, because you know you care about them. You don’t like the idea of ​​them hurting.

Normal, right?

Narcissistic Hurt

Narcissistichurt is something entirely different. A narcissist who causes pain doesn’t care much about conscience.

It’s a common feeling that arises in people who encounter narcissists because of their need to constantly evoke negative feelings.

If you think about the narcissists in your life, how many of them do you feel comfortable around? How many of them do you look forward to seeing because they make you feel positive?

How many of them do you dread seeing?

…I thought about that. #TheCycle

The cycle of narcissistic abuse is something that, once you’re aware of it, you’ll notice it happening with the various narcissists in your life. It’s a painful cycle, and I’ll talk more about it after describing each stage.

Idealism – Everything is rosy. The narcissist is sweet and loving. They shower you with gifts, time, and praise. You’re everything to them.

Related : 6 Things That Trigger a Narcissists Breakdown

Devaluation – The narcissist now begins to destroy you. What they’ve built is slowly being torn down, bit by bit. Criticism, manipulation, the silent treatment, and ridicule. You begin to feel pain, and this pain grows and grows.

Ignorance – The narcissist rejects you completely. You wonder what you did wrong, and the mere thought of this ending pains you deeply. You begin to panic and try everything you can to improve.

Self-Indulgence – The narcissist returns, ready to embrace you. They fawn and flutter, and just as you begin to feel happy and relieved, they still care. This part of the cycle usually returns to the idealization stage. Everything, once again, is rosy.

How the Cycle Affects Both the Narcissist and You

You

Of course, no one likes to be hurt. This cycle goes around and around, and there are conflicting emotions associated with each stage.

With the idealization stage, it’s almost euphoric. You finally feel like you’ve met someone who loves and appreciates you. They promise to care about you and will never leave.

The moments you share can be anything from pure romance to pure passion. If it’s a friendship, you do everything together. Selfies and hashtags of the two of you are constantly popping up on social media. They want the world to know they’ve met someone special.

What’s not captivating?

So, there’s a big surprise when the dynamics change.

Related : THIS is the Biggest Reason Why The Narcissist’s Family Hates You

Once the narcissist has earned your trust, they’ll start pestering you. Most people in this situation don’t leave—because that connection has already been formed. You’ve become almost dependent on their company and affection.

You want to do everything you can to rectify the situation. The more they pester you, the more you’ll try to “people-please” yourself to get rid of your “flaws.”

Giving up = destruction. Just before you give up, they come back and pull you back in.

What a relief!

The Narcissist

Narcissists don’t recognize the stages of narcissistic abuse (they don’t even know they’re narcissists…), but they know what they’re doing.

Narcissists tend to apply this cycle and its accompanying patterns because it aligns with what they need at the time. When they idolize you in the first stage, they know you’re under their influence. They respond with flattery and feel safe with you.

What a responsibility for someone with such arrogance!

Does a Narcissist Know They’ve Hurt You?

The most important question…

In short, yes, they know. They know that the way they treat you has consequences that visually confirm your pain or distress. They see it. They understand.

What they don’t know is that they’re necessarily doing anything wrong.

The way a narcissist treats you depends solely on what they know. That’s all they know, really. When someone is in a picture, it’s impossible to see the picture.

The problem is that the narcissist refuses to step outside and look because they only see themselves as whole.

Related ;: 8 Things You Can Not Do With a Narcissist

That’s why they won’t change. No matter how much pain you experience, it will never awaken them to reality.

Their reality is all that matters. They live and breathe it and expect everyone to meet them there.

That’s why it can be so painful for others—their reality is being erased.

…Do They Care?

The last part of this topic is divided into two parts. You may think they don’t care about hurting you, and you’re partly right.

The narcissist doesn’t care because they have no morals. No integrity. No conscience. His actions have made him happy all this time, so why would he change? He has no problem knowing he’s hurting others, as long as he’s not the one in pain.

Now for the second part…

…Yes. They care. It rarely happens, but if you’re hurting and you start telling people how bad the narcissist is, you’ll get their attention.

A narcissist won’t care unless it makes them look bad. They won’t care about your feelings; they’ll only care about how your feelings affect them in the eyes of others.

So, the next time you’re thinking about getting a narcissist to care about your pain—don’t waste your time.