Do narcissists suffer from low self-esteem?
When it comes to understanding the root cause of narcissism, people tend to fall into two camps. The first group usually believes that all narcissists are idiots with no regard for others. The second group tends to be more empathic, as they believe that narcissists are wounded souls who need more compassion and understanding.
As it stands, narcissism can be complex. All narcissists crave power, control, and recognition. They all rely on shady manipulative tactics to ensure their needs are met. While some narcissists may be more attractive than others, all of them can be dangerous.
But do narcissists have low self-esteem? And if they think so poorly about themselves, how do they become narcissists? Let’s get into what you need to know.
Are narcissists insecure?
The simple answer: some are, but many are not.
The more complicated answer: Even if narcissists are insecure, they rarely reveal this part of themselves to others. They do not make a conscious effort to try to improve their inner selves. Instead, they use their fragile ego as an excuse to continue hurting people and focus on self-preservation.
In other words, narcissists are not interested in healing from the inside out. Instead, they focus on maintaining their narcissistic stock and using other people to validate, confirm, and enable their toxic behavior.
If narcissists are insecure, they use those empty feelings to harm others. At the same time, they remain focused on making sure the world revolves around them.
Why do some narcissists have high self-esteem?
Some narcissists are easy to spot. They are loud and noisy. They demand attention from others, and like to be in the spotlight in everything. These narcissists tend to be obnoxious and grandiose. They do whatever it takes to feel important, even when their actions negatively affect others.
Make no mistake about it: Oftentimes, narcissists think too much about themselves. They believe they are better than others, and assume they have the right to get what they want when they want it.
Narcissists who were overrated as children simply grow up expecting the same level of admiration. In fact, and contrary to most assumptions, parental overvaluation may be a greater predictor of narcissism than trauma or other negative childhood experiences.
Furthermore, many narcissists have insight into their narcissism. They generally know that others may not view them as favorably as they see themselves. They may also determine exactly how they distort reality to get what they want.
It is important to keep in mind the tendency to feel sorry for narcissists. They may not hurt as much as you think they are.
Why do some narcissists suffer from low self-esteem?
Some research suggests that narcissists simply use their ridiculous strategies to compensate for low self-esteem. They live by showcasing to avoid dealing with their true feelings. But they do it so automatically – and constantly – that their narcissism is reinforced more and more.
At this point, they don’t even realize they are compensating. Instead, it just became a natural part of their identity.
But covert narcissists are more secretive when it comes to seeking power and control. They may appear negative, fragile, and even insecure around others. They may appear unsure of themselves and may try to blend into the background. In other words, their actions may seem completely counterintuitive to true narcissism.
Like overt narcissists, covert narcissists often suffer from envy, poor emotional regulation, and a lack of empathy. However, they may also have low self-esteem. However, their low self-esteem fuels their self-preoccupation and neediness.
For example, instead of trying to work on their self-confidence, they often focus on how they are destroying others. These efforts often seem passive-aggressive and can be confusing. For example, an overt narcissist may argue with someone who gives him negative comments. A covert narcissist may appear to ignore feedback — and then spread bad rumors about the person behind their back.
How do narcissists raise their self-esteem?
Unfortunately, their strategies are not very healthy. If you are closely involved in their lives, you may be vulnerable to being manipulated and abused to meet their endless needs.
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Narcissists feel better about themselves when they can put someone below them. This is why they often gravitate towards leadership positions: they like situations where they can control people.
In relationships, a narcissist may bring you down by undermining your successes, ridiculing your dreams, or sabotaging your efforts. They may also criticize you or blame you for anything that goes wrong in their life.
Gaslighting others
There is no doubt that narcissists cause serious damage, and gaslighting is one of the worst offenders. Gaslighting is a technique designed to make you question your reality. Narcissists highlight the distortion of the truth to make it seem like you are overreacting or misunderstanding the situation.
