There are many myths circulating the question: Do narcissists cry? Some might have you believe that narcissists are emotionless robots, devoid of all human emotions, including hurt and pain. However, what if the answer is complex, and the narcissist is not the robot society has led you to believe?
Alternatively, you may have witnessed the narcissist’s fake crying and felt justifiably upset. Why do narcissists behave this way, and what do they hope to achieve through their behavior? It would not be wrong to assume that ulterior motives sometimes play an important role in the emotional display of the narcissist. Let’s dive into whether narcissists can cry honestly, and if so, who are they upset by, and what are they hoping to get?
Can narcissists cry?
First, yes, most narcissists can cry. Many people who have someone with this disease in their life may have seen them cry when they were down, received bad news, or perhaps when a pet died. Despite prevailing beliefs, narcissists are still human underneath with all the damaged parts of their selves, physiologically, at the very least. Narcissists have tear ducts like everyone else, and depending on where a person is on the narcissistic spectrum, they may cry quite easily.
On the other hand, individuals with psychopathy, professionally referred to as antisocial personality disorder, may find it almost impossible to cry. Most psychopaths have incredibly flat emotions and show little emotion at all. People with antisocial personality disorder sit at the end of the narcissistic spectrum. We can assume that psychopaths, unlike those with narcissistic personality disorder, suffered the wound of childhood narcissism at such an early age that none of their true selves had time to develop it.
Despite appearances, narcissists have retained various parts of their true selves, which is responsible for their dysfunctional and immature emotional thinking. Emotions, all of which are negative, govern the narcissist’s life and dictate his reality. This fact explains why, no matter how hard you try, you will never make the narcissist understand or see the truth of the situation. Narcissists’ emotional pathways and brain wiring are defective and developed in this way to protect them from further harm. The unfortunate result is that the narcissist has no understanding of reality and often escapes the truth at all costs.
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Can narcissists cry? Yes, narcissists can cry, but the reasons for their sadness differ greatly from the reasons for crying in people without narcissistic personality disorder.
Do narcissists feel guilty?
Oftentimes, the average person cries on behalf of someone else. They may feel frustrated by difficult events experienced by someone else, experience a deep sense of loss, or feel guilty for actions they regret. Do narcissists cry the same way? No, they are unlikely to cry for these reasons.
The strict personality structure of narcissists cannot allow them to experience these feelings. These feelings are dangerous territory, which can make the narcissist feel weak or vulnerable. To be able to feel guilt, we have to be able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Over time, the narcissist’s defenses become ever more ingrained, and their ability to feel these more complex emotions becomes less and less. Like a muscle that is never used, narcissists typically become more emotionally infertile as they age.
In response to narcissists’ feelings of guilt, it is almost impossible for them to feel guilty about how their actions or behaviors affect someone else. Since narcissists live daily in absolute survival mode, they cannot tolerate these feelings for others and are truly incapable of doing so. Guilt requires self-reflection, and the narcissist has never learned how to deal with his true self healthily. Do narcissists cry out of emotional sympathy for you? No, they don’t. They may cry if they miss you as a narcissistic being who benefits them in various ways, but you will never find a narcissist who cries because they miss you for your soul.
Fake narcissistic crying?
If you’ve ever witnessed a fake narcissist cry, you’ll know that it’s one of the most terrifying and upsetting things you can experience. You feel as if you are in the room with a real joker. So why do people with this disease resort to deranged tactics and mind games?
The narcissistic fake crying performance is strangely disoriented and emotionally detached. When people cry, we expect to feel and see real pain, so the lack of these feelings is very disturbing. If you’re like me, you probably felt like you were part of a horror movie.
People with narcissistic personality disorder use fake crying as a tool and weapon of manipulation. The most common scenario is when the narcissist feels like he or she is not getting enough attention. They may cover their faces with their hands and make sobbing noises, only to later discover that their faces are dry once attention is turned back to them. The narcissist may stare at you and smile when he realizes he has been caught in the act. At this moment, the narcissist feels a surge of power, because he now knows that he can control others. Alternatively, you may feel physically ill and want to stay away from that person as much as possible.
On other occasions, the narcissist will cry for somewhat more realistic reasons. Maybe you told the narcissist that you were leaving, or never having anything to do with him again? It is not uncommon to see a narcissist shed a tear in this circumstance. However, the narcissist cries like a toddler if he loses the ball. People with this disease do not cry for you; They just cry about themselves and how this loss can affect them negatively.
The only time a narcissist might shed real tears is when a pet dies, or when he feels moved by a movie or something he watches on TV. Why is this the case? In these scenarios, there is no direct emotional threat to the narcissist. Pets or fictional characters cannot respond to, question, or challenge humans, providing the narcissist with a sense of omnipresence. As a result, many often feel that the narcissist “loves” their pet more than their family. However, even a narcissist’s love for a pet is superficial, and they usually neglect the animal’s daily needs.
When a narcissist sees you crying
When you have a narcissist in your life, it’s no surprise that you may cry more than usual. So, when a narcissist sees you crying, how does he feel? First, narcissists hate noticing other people’s feelings. Since people with this illness rarely cry for the same reasons as others, this is a stark reminder to narcissists that they are different, and feel left out.
Then, in relationships of any kind, when someone cries, the expectation is that the other person comforts the upset person until they stop being upset. With almost zero emotional empathy, the narcissist cannot reassure others effectively. They feel out of their depth and they know it very well. Their lack of ability to care comes as another wound to the ego.
Narcissists also view any emotional display as a weakness. People with this personality disorder only know how to repress their emotions, and they have been doing so since childhood. The presence of someone crying frustrates the narcissist, and he feels that your moment of emotional weakness reflects poorly on him. The narcissist feels uncomfortable and strongly dislikes associating with anyone who displays his human feelings openly.
Final Thoughts on Do Narcissists Cry?
Narcissists are complex and emotionally stunted creatures. It is not accurate to say that narcissists never cry or feel upset, because they spend their lives running away from shame and negative emotions. People with this disease are very sensitive to criticism and are extremely afraid of vulnerability.
People with narcissistic personality disorder do not cry easily. Narcissistic hurt often manifests itself as anger. When a narcissist stares at you with angry black eyes, it may be someone without the disorder crying instead. Narcissists never develop a healthy relationship with themselves and their emotions, so all of their responses are atypical and confusing to others.
Not only do narcissists have a general unwillingness to open up to others and express themselves emotionally, but they are also unable to do so. The narcissist is severely emotionally disabled. Many people mistakenly believe that narcissists are afraid, to be honest with others and that all that will change with the right amount of love. However, the truth is neither hopeful nor clear. The narcissist does not hide his true, complete, healthy, loving self, it is never developed.
Can narcissists cry? naturally. Does a narcissist always pretend to cry? no, they’re not. Would a narcissist cry from unconditional love for another person? Very unlikely, if not impossible. Finally, will the narcissist cry to himself? Yes, but for reasons created by their illnesses and with reluctance, as they strive to maintain their mask of safety at all costs.
If you found reading Do Narcissists Cry helpful, see Do Narcissists Know They’re Narcissists?
