Narcissists often act in strange and unpredictable ways. They can be impulsive, erratic, and downright chaotic. They often display extreme emotions, and people tend to go to great lengths to avoid triggering these frantic responses.

But do narcissists cry? Do narcissists cry real tears, or do they manipulate others to get what they want? Here’s everything you need to know.

DoNarcissistsCry?

First and foremost—some narcissists absolutely cry! This doesn’t apply to all narcissists, but most narcissists can cry in a variety of situations.

We’ll cover each of the following situations in more detail, but as a general overview, narcissists may cry when they:

• Lost a loved one
• Experience physical pain
• Feel abandoned or hurt
• Feel extremely angry
• Watch or read something sad

No two narcissists are the same. Some cry incessantly (to the point where it can seem annoying). Others save their tears for the most extreme situations.

Do narcissists cry easily?

Some do!

Vulnerable or covert narcissists are more likely to cry than other types of narcissists. This is because these individuals tend to appear more insecure.

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While all narcissists have fragile egos, covert narcissists are often mistaken for empaths. They may appear overly sympathetic and considerate of others’ needs.

But these behaviors are insidious. For example, a covert narcissist may become passive-aggressive by saying something like, It’s okay, I don’t need your help. No one is here for me, anyway, right before bursting into tears.

While these tears may seem natural, they often come across as insincere and manipulative to everyone else. This is because the narcissist expects you to comfort them at all costs.

Other narcissists don’t cry easily. For example, malignant narcissists often come across as extremely arrogant and even psychopathic. These are the narcissists who seem to derive the most joy from hurting others. As such, they rarely show emotional swings beyond anger.

Do narcissists cry a lot?

Yes, some narcissists cry all the time.

These narcissists use tears to weaponize others. They cry to make a scene, to gain sympathy, or to divert attention back to themselves.

If you ask a narcissist if they cry on purpose, most will insist that they don’t.

But that’s because they may not even know how much they rely on manipulation tactics to satisfy their constant need for approval and validation.

What Does a Narcissist Cry Mean?

It’s important to consider why most of us cry to understand how this behavior also affects narcissists.

Crying is a natural biological response, an innate part of being human. After all, we’re born crying! As babies, crying is our only real way to communicate distress. As we get older, we still cry in response to physical or emotional pain.

There’s no set rule for when crying is or isn’t appropriate. Likewise, some people cry more than others, and that’s normal. We all experience emotions differently, and we all process those emotions in ways that seem safe and reasonable.

But a narcissist’s crying can mean a number of different things. Here’s what their tears might mean.

They’re Hurting Themselves

Most of us cry when we’ve seriously hurt ourselves. This is usually an automatic response, meaning it’s involuntary and largely out of our control.

Even narcissists aren’t immune to tears when they’re in pain. This is especially true if they have a low tolerance for physical discomfort.

They’re Feeling Upset or Trapped

As you probably know, narcissists hate it when they feel exposed. If you say or do something to “expose” their toxic behavior, they feel a deep sense of vulnerability. This moment is terrifying for them.

Often, this sense of being exposed leads to narcissistic rage. But rage isn’t always expressed through outright anger, screaming, or threats.

Sometimes rage comes in the form of crying. As mentioned, this can be more common with vulnerable or covert narcissists. Instead of yelling at someone, they may start crying. This instantly “softens” others and forces them to pay more attention.

TheyHaveEmpathy

It’s a common misconception that narcissists lack empathy at all. They may experience certain types of empathy in certain situations. However, empathy only occurs when it comes to their needs and preferences.

For example, a narcissist may have a great love for their pet. Their dog may mean everything to them (which can be very frustrating for you!).

So, if something happens to their dog, they feel intense sadness, loss, and grief. They feel defeated in the same way that anyone would feel defeated.

Or, for example, they might cry after hearing that a good friend has been diagnosed with cancer. But they’re not necessarily crying for their friend.

They might cry because they’re worried that if something happens to that friend, they’ll lose the valuable narcissistic supply they covet.

TheyWantYourSympathy

If a narcissist feels betrayed, scared, or uncomfortable, they might use crying to gain your sympathy. It’s like how a toddler might throw a tantrum to get your attention. Even narcissists know that negative responses are better than no responses.

So, they use crying strategically to gain comfort. They tend to cry more around sympathetic people because they know they’ll get the validation they need.

TheyRelyOnShockValue

Some narcissists rarely cry. So, when narcissists do cry, it has a huge impact on others. Somehow, you feel that tears are more important and urgent.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who doesn’t cry, don’t discount the possibility. Even if they seem very withdrawn or strict, they may cry when they feel threatened. This is more likely to happen if you set strict boundaries or try to leave the relationship.

In the moment, you may be so stunned by their tears that you immediately rush to comfort them. Before you know it, you’re back in their drama.

Do Narcissists Cry to Manipulate?

Has the following situation ever happened? You and the narcissist are arguing.

They’ve done something offensive or inappropriate, and you feel deeply hurt by it. You blame them for this behavior, hoping that it will lead to accountability.

Related : Can Someone Become a Narcissist Later in Life?

Narcissists respond by crying. They admit how much they’ve screwed you. They tell you how much they love you, how much you mean to them, and how they’ll never hurt you again.

Then they go on about how broken they are. They complain that you’re probably going to leave them—just like everyone else. And in between all this dramatic claims, they may also accuse you of being impatient or insensitive.

Suddenly, it’s not about you or your feelings anymore. You’re now comforting them and trying to make them feel better. What just happened?

Have you ever heard of the term crocodile tears? This term refers to insincere, dramatic displays of emotion. Many narcissists are notorious for them!

In other words, they may appear to be genuinely sorry or sad about something, but it’s all for show. They don’t feel these feelings—they just want you to believe they do.

So, why do narcissists cry to manipulate others? Because crying can be very effective!

Think about it. Most of us feel uncomfortable, guilty, or sad when we see someone we care about crying. We often want to step in and help. We try to support the other person and offer them compassion and patience.

If you look at it that way, you are simply refueling the narcissist’s supply. They love to be helpful, compassionate, and patient. They love to have your undivided attention. They love to know that you are feeling anxious or even guilty.

Do Narcissists Cry When They’re Alone?

Sometimes. Narcissists don’t just cry to manipulate others.

Narcissists, like everyone else, can experience a full range of emotions. They are just as susceptible to sadness, disappointment, frustration, and fear as anyone else. The difference is in how they process and react to such emotions.

As mentioned, narcissists often cry when they fear something bad is going to happen to them. So while they may appear to be genuinely sad or grieving, they are actually just preoccupied with their fears about loss.

Do narcissists cry in movies?

Yes, they definitely do!

Picture this scene. You’re at home watching a movie with the narcissist. Something bad happens to one of the characters—their mother dies, their dog gets run over, or they receive a scary medical diagnosis. You look over and see the narcissist crying.

What’s going on here? They would never be emotional about something in real life!

Although it may seem strange, narcissists can cry over movies, books, and other fictional experiences. Typically, these tears happen because something in the scene has triggered something inside them.

For example, a narcissist might cry when the heroine leaves their husband.

This is because the narcissist fears (whether they realize it or not) that they will be abandoned! In other words, they cry for themselves, not for the actual person.

Do Narcissists Cry When Someone Dies?

Narcissists can certainly feel love, which means they can also feel sadness. So, they’re not immune to the intense emotions associated with death.

However, narcissists don’t always cry when someone dies because they’re sad. Instead, they can cry for many different reasons, including:

Feeling betrayed: A narcissist may feel betrayed when someone dies. This is especially true if they view the death as unfair, unjust, or “personal” in some way.

Wanting attention or more sympathy: Narcissists are smart enough to know that crying is socially appropriate when someone dies.

If they’re attending a large funeral, they may cry heavily. This is usually to make sure that others notice them — after all, they don’t want their deceased loved ones to get more attention than them!

Grieving the loss of supply: If a narcissist has lost someone who provided them with constant validation, approval, or attention, death will hit them particularly hard.

Even if they appear to be grieving the loss appropriately, they are crying more for what they have lost than for the person who is gone.

Feeling fearful: Along with grieving the loss of supply, some narcissists cry when someone dies because they are anxious about life without that person.

Often, this means they fear that no one will be able to “fill the void” by providing that valuable supply.

How do narcissists cope with death?

Do narcissists cry when someone dies? Or do they act like nothing happened? Do they feel really upset when they lose a loved one?

Narcissists deal with death in different ways, depending on the type of narcissism and the relationship itself. However, here are some common ways that narcissists deal with loss.

Extreme anger: Narcissists naturally feel entitled to the things and people they want.

While most of us feel some sense of betrayal when we lose a loved one, narcissists often feel personally attacked. As a result, they may become aggressive or violent after a significant death.

Substance abuse: Many narcissists struggle with substance abuse and rely on drugs or alcohol to deal with their uncomfortable feelings.

Related : 5 Reasons Why a Narcissist Wants You Back

When someone dies, they may fall deeper into this hole. If you try to intervene, you’ll likely be met with resistance, self-defense, or deception.

Volunteering or making large donations: Because narcissists love being in the spotlight, they often make large donations, write beautiful obituaries, or post on Facebook about how much they care for their loved ones.

Keep in mind that these gestures are all about appearance. They want others to see how much they care and how willing they are to “make a difference” on behalf of their loss.

Talking Bad About the Deceased: It’s no secret that narcissists often have a lot of enemies. They usually have no problem rejecting people or cutting them off entirely.

So, when someone they don’t like dies, they often try to convince others how “bad” they are.

They do this to try to keep others from grieving (because they’re jealous of all the time and attention the deceased person gets!)

Do Narcissists Cry After a Breakup?

Yes, Most of the Time!

Breakups make a person feel very vulnerable, as ending a relationship often ends a valuable source of narcissistic supply.

If you’re with a narcissist who rarely (or never) cries, the breakup may be the trigger for their pent-up tears. This is like a last-ditch effort. They really want to trigger your emotions and make you feel guilty or afraid of leaving them.

Narcissists may also cry after a breakup because they are (for a moment) forced to face the harsh reality of being alone.

Of course, many of them deal with this fear by entering into a new relationship, sleeping with someone else, or indulging in some dramatic change.

After a breakup, you should expect narcissists to cry. Even if a narcissist knows logically that they can’t be with you, they emotionally refuse to accept that fact. As a result, they will try every tactic possible to make you feel anxious or jealous. They want you to rethink your decision.

You can expect tearful voicemails or intense text messages detailing how they cry themselves to sleep every night. If this makes you feel bad, know that your guilty reaction is their goal.

How do narcissists respond when someone else cries?

They may not show much sadness themselves, but do narcissists cry when someone else cries? And why do narcissists get angry when you cry?

Narcissists react in many different ways to someone who is crying. But one thing is for sure—they tend to change their ways once you think you’ve cornered them.

For example, they may seem incredibly sympathetic and attuned the first time you cry. You feel safe when you lower your guard. You think you can trust them wholeheartedly.

But the next time you cry? They accuse you of being overly dramatic and sensitive. They blame you for not knowing how to handle your emotions appropriately.

Or, sometimes, they simply act as if nothing happened. For example, you might cry, and they just talk and talk—as if everything is normal.

Related : The Painful Narcissist Silent Treatment is a Form of Abuse

Finally, many narcissists use your crying as an opportunity to offer a fake apology. This might sound like,

I’m sorry that this made you so upset, or, Here we go again with the tears. I guess I won’t bring this up in the future because it always upsets you.

As you can see, most fake apologies are just another form of manipulation or criticism.

In general, as you’ve probably noticed, narcissists don’t handle other people’s emotional expressions very well. They don’t like to offer comfort or validation (although they take it easy).