Emotional vampires are some of the most toxic people you will ever encounter.
Most emotional vampires are extremely negative in how they draw your emotional blood.
Some do it unconsciously.
Others exploit it narcissistically. They feed on how validated you feel by taking the time to focus on you, finding your emotional vein, and pulling on your emotional neck.
Just like with manipulation, emotional vampires often do their work gradually.
Their insecurities run so deep, that their emotional body can’t manufacture their blood. If it could, they wouldn’t need your blood.
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Looking back, it’s strange because regardless of how I “drained” my past relationships, my instinct was to be aware of how emotionally drained, exhausted, drained, and “inadequate” I always felt.
The problem was that I took these feelings of drain to mean that there was something wrong with me; that I needed to work harder to be “good enough.” This has hindered my ability to acknowledge that I wasn’t just running on fumes, but allowing myself to be pulled/drained in the name of my illusion – seeing what I wanted to see.
I get frustrated when I see articles explaining the obvious characteristics of emotional vampires. Not only are they obvious, but breaking down the obvious characteristics only makes you more confused about why you’re in the position of sticking your emotional neck out to these people.
That’s okay. We all have them.
If you’re struggling with self-esteem and confidence, emotional vampire friends, lovers, family members, and coworkers will push your buttons and emotionally cripple you. At the same time, they lower you to their invulnerable pedestal. When this happens, you feel more comfortable, exciting, and special than ever. Why? Remember, the worst relationships have their best moments. That’s all they can have – moments – elevated only by all the bullshit around them.
If you eat rotten food every day, and then now and then, you get a nice little macaron from Paris, the moment you get that little macaron will be a historical event. Not because it means your diet is now balanced, but because the garbage you constantly eat around the macaron moment makes you hungrier and more appreciative of any little crumbs that are thrown your way.
I was talking to my mom recently about some acquaintances and former lovers who are emotional vampires. She brought up a great point:
Emotional vampires can be very attractive because they exploit your innate attraction to hunters (this goes back to the days of hunter-gatherers). The only problem is that they hunt you. Don’t be the deer that feels special just because the hunter has a red laser on them. Hunters hunt. If they could relate and empathize with their prey, they wouldn’t shoot. The fact that you have a red laser on you has nothing to do with you being more visible or special than the other deer. It’s all about staying in the spotlight long enough to keep the spotlight on you.
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They say sunlight kills a real vampire and I think that applies to emotional vampires. The only thing that can turn emotional vampires off and make them lose interest is your light. And only you know where your amplifier is.
But what about when you find yourself in the dark of your triggers?
What should you do when a fake ex-boyfriend or ex-lover comes back into your life and apologizes?
Here’s what you need to know about emotional vampires and how to replenish your emotional blood…
Once you know the makeup of something, it becomes much easier to disable the power it has over you – whether it’s your triggers, your fears, your beliefs, getting over an ex, toxic people, weird relationships your partner may have, fake friends, addictions, failures, the need for validation, lies, etc.
As for emotional vampires, I’ll quickly break down their anatomy:
Emotional vampires are one of the most insecure creatures in the entire toxic species.
Because they are so insecure, they have a never-ending need for validation, approval, and attention.
Emotional vampires are masters at exploiting attention. While they seek the validation they so desperately need, they drain and invalidate others.
Emotional vampires only turn to convenient victims when it serves them and advances their agenda.
These people truly feel that they can do no wrong and that there should be no consequences for their actions.
They feed off of other people’s reactions.
They don’t know what to do when their ex does the one thing they can’t do – call him out on his actions and cut him off.
Emotional vampires are narcissistic and emotionally detached. Some may even have antisocial personality disorder.
I’ve always said that it’s better to have no idea who you are than to have a false sense of who you are. Emotional vampires have no self-awareness and because of this, they are emotionally bankrupt.
They are shit artists.
Amid their insecurities, emotional vampires are, at their core, extremely entitled. They feel like they have a right to your emotional blood—which consists of your mental health and your unique light.
I can honestly say that I have embodied almost all of the points above at one time or another in my life.
The only difference is that I was an empath and I suffered from reverse narcissism (making the actions of the narcissist I was in a relationship with revolve around my inadequacy. I still made everything about me, but in reverse).
And just like the emotional vampires who felt entitled to drain my emotional blood, I felt “entitled” to allow my emotional blood to be drained because I didn’t value myself enough.
Here’s how to replenish your emotional blood and stop emotional vampires from ever breaking your boundaries again:
Related : 15 clever mind games narcissists play to trap you in their web
– Understand that emotional vampires are just as hungry for validation as the people they’re draining their emotional blood from. Once you take the time to monitor their level of thirst, you’ll be able to quench your thirst.
– When you’re avenging your abandonment issues and fear of loneliness by breaking up with an emotional vampire ex, understand that all you’re losing is an illusion. This person will never be able to empathize with or understand your pain, needs, and situation. Remember who you are and what your value is.
- If they ever apologize, their apologies never include bringing up exactly what they did wrong. Most of the time, they don’t know exactly what you know. So, instead of taking the risk, they just use whatever you’ve expressed in the past to make it seem like they understand.
- Emotional vampires are just a projection surface. Because they are never who they present themselves to be, they cannot be authentic. Without authenticity, there is no trust, and without trust, there is no respect.
- Emotional vampires have nothing that will provide any real value or enrichment to your life.
You can’t change these people.
- Remember: We are all suffering from a deadly disease. This is called life.
Always be aware that your time on this planet is limited. Your time is not a given, it is a privilege. Focus on how you want to spend your life evolving, excelling, and offering your unique talents in the light of gratitude for the lessons learned.
Yes, it will take time to heal, but you are already on your way to healing or you wouldn’t be reading this post.
