Growing up in a narcissistic family can be an extremely difficult experience for daughters of narcissistic mothers (DoNM). Their mothers’ lack of empathy, controlling and manipulative behavior, and inability to recognize the needs and feelings of others leave their daughters feeling isolated, worthless, ashamed, and even resentful.
The outcome of growing up in a narcissistic family depends on whether you are the golden child or the scapegoat.
If you are the golden child, your mother probably loved and praised you to the point of being arrogant.
If you are the scapegoat, your mother likely criticizes and belittles you constantly.
No matter what role she played, the damage narcissistic mothers inflict on daughters is significant.
DoNM may experience low self-esteem, problems forming healthy relationships, and difficulty trusting others.
How narcissistic mothers treat their daughters
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often have difficulty dealing with the needs and feelings of others, including their children. This can lead the DoNM to feel isolated, unheard, and even resentful.
Extreme criticism: A narcissistic parent is likely to criticize or belittle his daughter for any minor mistake she makes, leading to her constantly feeling incompetent or unworthy.
Related : ACoNs – The Adult Children Of Narcissists – born and raised in a narcissistic family
Gaslighting: Changing reality through manipulation and deception is a common tactic used by narcissists to make the victim question themselves and their beliefs.
Unjustified blame: Instead of taking responsibility for their behavior or mistakes, a narcissistic parent may try to blame their daughter in an attempt to maintain control over her.
Guilt Trips: Guilt manipulation tips that aim to make the victim feel as if she is responsible for what happened and that she should be grateful for her parents’ actions are also common forms of emotional abuse that narcissistic mothers inflict on their daughters.
Playing Favorites: Narcissistic parents may favor one child over another, creating tension between siblings and isolating their children from each other.
Parenting: Forcing their daughters to take on more responsibilities than they can handle at an early age, so that the narcissistic mother can avoid doing her share of the housework.
Public humiliation/shaming: A narcissistic parent may humiliate or publicly humiliate his or her daughter in an attempt to control her behavior and maintain control over her decisions and actions outside of home life as well.
Lack of respect for boundaries: Narcissistic mothers may also display a lack of respect for boundaries. Examples of this include intruding into the daughter’s privacy, invading her personal space and making decisions on her behalf without consulting her.
The effect of narcissistic mothers on DoNM
Low self-worth: Constant criticism and manipulation by narcissistic mothers often leads to low self-confidence, an inability to recognize their own worth, and a feeling that they are not worthy of good things.
Difficulty trusting others: A lack of empathy and respect for boundaries can cause DoNMs to have difficulty forming trusting relationships with other people as well as having difficulty trusting their own judgment in the future.
Fear of Failure: The unrealistic expectations of narcissistic parents often make their daughter feel incompetent or afraid to take risks in life for fear that she will not be able to meet their standards.
Self-doubt: Constant doubts about her abilities based on her mother’s negative comments can cause the DoNM to second-guess herself and be reluctant to try new things for fear of failure or rejection.
Separation/Isolation: The lack of emotional connection between a daughter and a narcissistic mother can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially at times when the daughter is most in need of support and understanding.
Anxiety/Depression: In some cases, the psychological effects of living with a narcissistic mother can have severe effects such as increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems due to the extreme loss of control over their lives due to the parents’ behavior.
Guilt/Responsibility: A narcissistic parent may manipulate their daughter into taking on more responsibilities than necessary, causing her to feel guilty even when it is not her fault.
Related : How Does a Narcissistic Mother Behave?
Unhealthy coping mechanisms: In order to combat feelings such as low self-worth or anxiety caused by living with a narcissist, some victims may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or self-harm as a way to relieve stress or deal with uncomfortable feelings.
Relationship problems due to lack of trust: A DNS may find it difficult to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships due to trust issues caused by being manipulated by her mother.
CanDoNM overcome his childhood trauma?
Yes, it is possible for DoNM to overcome their childhood trauma. Although it’s not easy, it is possible for them to build self-esteem, healthy relationships with others, and learn new coping skills to help manage difficult emotions.
It is important for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guide them through the recovery process. Additionally, connecting with other survivors of narcissistic abuse can help them feel less alone in their journey and give them hope that they can heal.
